Kowloon Park

Hares - Oh Shit, Screwtop

Hashers - Hopeless, Pole Dancer, Blow My Tits, Foot Fetish, Minja Turtle, Pipe Rider, Timbits, Dog Shit, South Side Hash Toy, Twinkie Winkie, Sluttovich, Alex, Sheewee Herman, Gobi Lo, Octopussy, Freebee, Cute Boar Butt, Josh

Write-up - Cute Boar Butt

I was a little bumped for missing last week's run, not to mention it was Screwtop and Blow My Tit's run, but also I found out two of my favorites, Oh Shit and Pole Dancer showed up without announcing the one time I had to miss a run; so even after a 1300m elevation gain and loss trail run the day before, I dragged my overtrained, very physically and mentally tired body and mind, to Tsim Sha Tsui to see my favorite couples (and all the others who are equally fantastic and wonderful). Upon arriving there was already quite a good number of runners stretching and chitchatting with Hopeless' eye-catching neon ONON shirt receiving the attention ovation from anyone who happened to be in the same area. I met this sweet visitor Sheewee Herman, who was determined to run with her bag full of random inventory. After gently reminding her that she could leave most of the non-necessities with the hare she reluctantly took out a set of change of clothes, a can of pink drink (?), and a half-opened bag of leafy green salad.

The pack set off running into the traffic and crowds, drawing a clear line separating the good/bad citizens and polite/less polite runners as most hashers dashed through red traffic lights risking their lives and a $2000 dollar fine the police are so eager to collect during the recent days. I, being the latter in both categories, carefully and apologetically swirled through the crowds alongside new friend Sheewee Herman, as we followed Twinkie Winkie and Pipe Rider to the first wrong check but the pair did not see the big T sign laid under twenty pairs of tourists' feet until I saw it and called for Pipe Rider. Luckily soon enough the true trail leads the pack through the less crowded Jordan Path where I was able to catch up to the rest of the pack but then there comes another hour-long wait at the traffic light on Nathan Road, where I found myself alone waiting patiently for Octopussy, Blow My Tits and Sheewee Herman (the good, polite runners) to catch up. We then ran past a wet market where I heard from a distance an older gentleman causing a screaming frenzy at another equally old gentleman and he was obviously, if we use the common and less politically correct term, crazy. I felt bad for our visitor so there came my first apology on behalf of the entire psychologically bothered population but she was completely cool so we redirected our focus on hurdling over puddles, trolleys, and children (followed by many apologies).

Very soon I found myself catching up to the pack, namely Hopeless in his neon shirt, whom I already spotted from Canton Road shortly after turning the corner 1kilometer ago, on the footbridge over Jordan Road. There, the pack was checking frantically for the trail that eventually led to the harbourfront. We were told headlamps weren't necessary at the brief, so none of the hashers except for the always well-prepared Foot Fetish had light. We then realized, or remembered, that we should not always believe the hare when the pack found ourselves having difficulties with seeing markings in the less bright surroundings. Pipe Rider and Minja, being the front runners, dashed towards West Kowloon Cultural area followed by Dog Shit, South Side Hash Toy, Pole Dancer, self-claimed 'walker' Foot Fetish, and Freebee. It was an almost perfect, picturesque, patriotic moment running by the harbor with the million-dollar night view (the electricity costs over a million USD a month hence the name) on our right while absorbing the little culture that wasn't much to be found, until we found ourselves completely lost with no markings to be found anywhere. The pack was hopeful at first and then started to become quite annoyed upon the realization that markings must have been washed off. The group had a bit of a sit-down convo about what to do, as we decided to create our own trail so a lot of us started drawing markings; speaking of showing up at the wrong time and saying the wrong things, the very brave and self-made righteous cultural security guard decided to speak to the toughest and scariest (and most annoyed because he's ridiculously competitive) hasher of all, our very Minja Turtle, about how he washed off all the markings to keep the international city stay internationally hygienic and markings free, which rewarded him in another screaming frenzy I have seen in a day, a very similar one a few kilometers ago at the wet market with whom I called crazy… as we were rolling the sleeves of our shirts to prepare to throw some punches I saw the neon shirt appeared at the corner of my eye that belonged to whom I knew we could always rely on for directions. Savior in neon pointed the way back to Tsim Sha Tsui pronouncing that there must be trail for us disciples to follow, lo and behold, there were markings which the very responsible security guard missed and completely destroyed the reputation and international status of Hong Kong S.A.R.

Sorry this is getting quite long but I am having so much fun.

We then followed markings which led us past Xiqu Centre where we could feel the very nice AC, then through Harbour City towards the ferry pier. I was feeling great and a little proud of myself, seeing my hard work on my running training paid off when I found myself being able to keep up with the known-to-be fast runners Pole Dancer and South Side Hash Toy. We were running at a relatively fast and steady pace together knowing we were one of the front runners as we saw Minja and Pipe Rider not too far ahead. However, once we left Harbour City Road and turned into the bus terminus by the ferry pier along with a few hundred other people, it became very hard to find any markings. The feel-good front-running trio decided to stick together through the sea of people pausing for photographs at any random moment of time on the promenade being completely oblivious to others, and at some point, we decided to go with our instinct back to A but it turned out to be the true trail with markings to be followed. We then ran and ran our little hearts out because of how great we felt about ourselves and one another's company (hey it's my narrative!); along with the AC blasting from the shops on Parklane we were on the flow for a little bit (a highly focused mental state conducive to productivity) [Flow, Csikszentmihalyi], and we were going to race to the finish line in a formation carefully formed to receive applauds by hares and cheers from fellow front runners Minja and Pipe Rider until we arrived to see everyone, neon shirt included, was already back with drinks cracked open half down.

Down Downs by Octopussy

Down down to hare - for urban run

Down down to Oh Shit and his San Miguel

Down down to co-hare #1 officially 1 unofficially #2 (Oh Shit) - for tiny markings on trail but big big markings to the bash

Down down to those who got told off at the West Kowloon Cultural Center - Minja, Screwtop, SSHT, Pole Dancer, Dog Shit, South Side Hash Toy, Cute Boar Butt, Pipe Rider

Down down to a patriotic person almost got in trouble with National Security for shouting at the guy for shouting at us - Minja

Down down to the hares - Zero markings at West Kowloon

Down down to those who did not find any markings after M+ - Sheewee Herman; to those did not find any markings after harbour city - Octopussy, Sheewee Herman; down down to the person who marked it - Oh Shit

Blow My Tits to Hopeless - for being the only person who went on the wrong way but still appeared ahead

Blow My Tits to Hopeless - for suggesting in the lift that we might be overweight and then Phoebe got in

Sheewee Herman to hares - for giving her first elevator hash experience, she ended up taking too many photos, there was even markings inside pointing at the buttons

Octo to front runners DogShit, Freebee, Foot Fetish, Hopeless, Ninja, Blow My Tits, Pole Dancer, Cute Boar Butt - for having no concern whatsoever and leaving visitors alone

Welcome visitor Sheewee Herman, who also went on to explain what a Sheewee is; visitor Sluttovich; and virgin hasher Alex

Welcome returnees - Dog Shit, SSHT

Down down to Foot fetish - for being the front runner along with Freebee

Octo to Pole Dancer - Freebie was asking if the group wanted another order of pork rib to which pole dancer replied 'you can shove it up your arse' but Freebee did not hear it and said ok

Oh Shit - did not realize he signed up to hare this week, only to find out after he woke up the next day

Freebee, Gobi Lo, Hopeless, Pole Dancer, Blow My Tits, Screwtop, Minja, Timbits, Octo all shook hands to promise be here this week and everyone kept their promises

Oh Shit to all the above - very touched that no one broke the trust

Screwtop to those who turned up to the run drunk - Timbits, who was actually more sober at the bash than when he was running

Pole Dancer to those who did true trail - Cute Boar Butt, South Side Hash Toy, Pole Dancer

Sheewee Herman to Hopeless - Met at the hash from yesterday, decides that he has no life

Screwtop to Sheewee Herman - for finding her way back, was genuinely worried for her

Octo to Gobi Lo - for doing the wimps after being told to do so by Oh Shit

Octo to CUTR - for magically finding the bash without attending the run or has a phone

Screwtop to CUTR - for doing another group, WNR's run, skipping their bash to come to ours to support

Gobi Lo to Minja - dropped some big phone but seemed not to be bothered, thought it must belong to an old person because it's so big, turned out to be Pole Dancer's

Screwtop to Sheewee Herman - for cannot wait for the LSW song and super excited about it

Dog Shit to CUTR - for wearing pink belt, deemed the most fashionable gear

Sheewee Herman to Cute Boar Butt for being polite, very apologetic to people and talking to kids and letting them pass

Gobi Lo to virgin hasher Alex - for playing tennis yesterday complaining about it but saying hash is easy

Gobi Lo to Oh Shit - for asking Cute Boar Butt why she isn't feeling well and then trying to understand moontime

CUTR to Hopeless - for looking like wolverine