Tsing Yi

Hare - Burning Lust
Write-up - Gobi Lo

FB photos here

The hare began his instructions with “As the Kowloon Hash was here on Monday, I’ve been extra-generous with my markings so the pack wouldn’t get confused!”, and with that we took off. Little did we know that his instructions would later come to haunt us… in an unexpected way.

The trail led us through the low-rise housing estates with plenty of CBs to keep the pack together, then onto Tsing Yi Road West where Pole Dancer and I went up a shiggy path at an open check only to come to a dead-end. Cheesy Flying Fox probably found the right way and off we went through another housing estate, and headed out at Tsing Chin Road. The FRBs got caught with a CB at the top of a drain, and it was here that Comes Up the Rear muttered something to Come into my Tunnel about turning back because he was not feeling well. I’m not sure how quick Comes Up the Rear gets well but within 2 minutes I saw him huffing up the never-ending steps --looks like his competitive streak got the better of him!

What felt like 20 minutes of pure torture (going up steps and more steps), we finally got into the shiggy. Yours truly found the trail next to the graveyards (which Wai Chee Kok later remarked that at next week’s Ching Ming Festival there would be people wondering why the hell there were footprints everywhere around the graves!), and the flour took us through some really cool trails with sharp thorny branches which made my hands all bloody. Then a CB for the FRBs which meant the pack was sort of together again, going up MORE steps. Lubricated Trojan could be heard having a moan about too many steps but I was pretty sure she was happy the pack was running together again.

The “Wimps” split took a left through some dense shiggy, and that was the last I saw Rooted (until back at “A” - and there’s a story there!). The Rambos went up even more steps (seriously, how many steps can there be?!). By the time we got up to the top of the hill with the flashing red light at the satellite station (?) my thighs were smeared in blood. Nice. Cheesy and Pole Dancer were caught at the check at the top of the hill, with Comes up the Rear admiring the city view.

Cheesy then decided to do the SR option which was “unmarked” (according to Burning Lust). I decided I didn’t want to get lost up on some random hill since we had already clocked close to 50 mins by then, so I followed Pole Dancer down the fantastic shiggy path with some ropes and dirt steps, slipping all over the place.

More concrete steps heading downhill, then I saw the W+R re-join, only to have a CB on the trail. I found true trail going down onto the road behind the Hong Kong Institute of Vocational Education, and then we hit upon that DAMN open check. After looking everywhere for at least 300m, I asked some locals where Tsing Yi MTR station was. They looked at me with open-mouthed astonishment, and all of them said it was too far to walk to. They pointed me to the right direction in any case, and Hopeless, Pole Dancer and I decided to have a crack at it running through the housing estate / shopping mall, and by sheer dumb luck we found chalk markings at the end of a underpass! (“Extra-generous with markings” - MY ASS!!)

By this point we were all cursing the hare under our breath but of course we sucked it up and followed the arrows on home back to Tsing Yi Park. I thought Hopeless would throw a spectacular hissy fit but he was actually very tame and just muttered “shit markings” to Burning Lust. Rooted came in on home about 10 mins later and I think all the old ladies in the pagoda had a rude shock when she threw all her toys out of the pram. “WTF WERE YOU THINKING MARK THESE ARE THE SHITTIEST MARKINGS EVER I AM GOING HOME NOW. ROAR.” And you would think the hare would run after Rooted but nope - I had to prompt him to run after her! *shakes head*

Just as Snatch Catcher got back to “A”, the conversation with Lubricated Trojan and Hopeless soon turned from someone spotting a kitten in the bush which became pussies in the bush to a 6-foot long snake in the bush. And somehow it strayed into the dangerous territory of Indy changing in the bush. Hmmm…!

At that point I decided to head home, with quite a bunch of them still out on trail. I’m guessing everyone made it back in one piece. On on to Wanchai Wanker’s run next week!

Down downs by Indy

The Hare - Burning Lust...... What did you think of the run?? and the enthusiastic crowd went wild!! 'Great run!!!' said the German......'Too much marking!!' call out the KH3 twins...... ....'Too short!!' exclaims Octo!..... 'Not enough steps!!' yelled Lubricated Trojan.....

Burning Lust - 'so there are 3 runs..... There is the Wimps run... a gentle downhill trail with little shiggy!' Famous last words!!! (Almost came true for him!!)... 'Yours truly' Indy did the Wimps trail and with a strap-on on the bad knee.... found myself 'slipping and sliding away' on the shiggyfest!!! Rooted also fell victim to the hare's 'much-rooted' trail...!!......

BL - ..... 'then there is the Rambo... longer than the W trail.... obviously... but tougher...!!' ..from all reports the R trail was perhaps the more 'gentle downhill trail!'.... those present.. Lubricated Trojan / Pole Dancer / Octo / Jill loved it!

BL - 'Now the Super Rambo..... When you go down the R trail and find the first marking, go backwards to the check and look for a marking in a different direction and there u will find the SR....... the trail is not marked and so you won't know where u will end up.....??' Again the real toughies.... Comes In My Tunnel / Comes Up the Rear / Cheesy FF gave it a thumbs up!!

Oh Shit - so which run are you going to do?? The one to the nearest pub! ' he wickedly exclaims......

Pole Dancer - surprised he did not join OS since the 'cat is again away'.....!!!

Jill - happy enuff for Oh Shit to run to the pub instead!!

Wai Chee - arrived at A as hashers set off! Then duly got lost and took 20 mins to catch up to yours truly.....??

Bobbledock (in absentia) - arrived late to run and came in on Wimps before yours truly....?? was given the tip to keep going up the 'stairway to heaven' and to miss the shiggy graveyard trail loop.....!

KH3 hasher - popped in at bash for a run report....'So, who set the run?'...Answer from the KH3 twinnies...' the ex b/f of Rooted!!'...

Burning Lust - henceforth (for tonight) shall be known as Burnt Lust!!

Rooted (lookalike LT) - so what did you think of the run??..... to Burnt Lust ''You are the world's worst f******g &%$£'! You are the most useless &^%$£@ at markings!! AND I am going home....'

Rooted / Burnt Lust - had their 'education' in Putin's Russia where they met!! 'Take no prisoners!!' 'Send him / her to Siberia'!! 'Target will be exterminated!!'

Rooted (lookalike Jill!) - Unconfirmed rumour... or 'fake news'.... has it that she went home to get out the machete.... to cut up all BL's clothing... (lucky summer is on the way!)... to find the chainsaw (another massacre!)... to rip apart his computer/laptop.... and then throw them all out the window!!

Octo - according to our prison expert, if you are caught throwing things out the window you are deemed to have Mental Health Problems and it's off to the mental asylum!!

Octo - and how many people do you know with MHP???.... besides all the hashers that is???

CUTR - so how is your mental health??....

Yours truly - my hacked-off shorts look like they have been been a victim of the machete too!!

Big Bitch / Hash Cash (act alikes) - shame they had to leave.... boo hoo!.. and miss tonight's run and more fun!!

Burnt Lust - Rooted may well be home designing the latest piece of Russian chemical warfare... called 'Zorbobitch!!'..... suggest u wear protective gear when u walk in/open the door!!!

Pole Dancer / Oh Shit! - The KH3 duo give 'Zorbobitch' the thumbs up!! 'Dont %^$£ with me....... or it's 'Zorbobitch!!'

Burnt Lust - great run report last week... thanks!

Burnt Lust - thanks for your generosity in paying for tonight's dinner.... was that why you tried to lose a few on trail???

BL - thanks for an interesting selection of runs (for some) and a fun bash!!

And the world's most loved hash song was sung by the hare himself.... Toasted Lust!!

8.11km 78mins