Having made the extraordinarily short-sighted mistake of only allowing 1 hour for a 30 minute bus journey that actually took 1 ½ hours, I was a little late to the start (note to self: never, ever take the number 25 bus). Velcro Lips was already back at A having abandoned all pretence of running Hopeless’ trail. Yummy Mummy was also there keeping Hopeless company. Obviously, these two exemplary Harriettes were more than enough for Hopeless to handle, so he sent me out on trail, with very clear instructions on how to run it backwards.
Clear instruction may very well have been given on how to run it forwards, but not everyone was paying attention as a number of people claimed they got lost in the shiggy. This included Indy who claimed to have got lost at a Check when the route she repeatedly kept checking turned out to be false, she eventually gave up on trying to find trail and so was back at A in record time. There were claims too that Hellbank money had floated around in puddles and so pointed in the wrong direction, this mainly fooled Hannah Montana who decided to follow the Hellbank straight into a bush, a kindly O’Bollox straightened the money and went off down the clearly marked trail. Still others may have been doing their own run, Wai Chee Kok returned with tales of power stations and concrete paths that either were not on the trail set or could have feasibly been anywhere. The rain, which had abated a little at the start, soon returned while we were out, washing away the few remaining piles of flour and drowning the Hellbank, just for an added dimension of difficulty in spotting true trail.
All of these early shenanigans meant I ran over 3km before meeting the front of the pack. Having been sure I must have taken a wrong turn and bypassed the whole pack (who perhaps had been stunned into silence by Wai Chee Kok getting a Check right … I know, it will never happen, but my mind was playing strange tricks in the eerie dark), I was relieved to see Cums Up the Rear’s head light. He was shortly followed by Lost in Translation, at which point I felt I had run enough of the trail backwards and it was time to turn round and head back to A. At least running in the right direction meant more of the trail markings were visible, though there still weren’t enough for some as Lost in Translation took an early right down some steps before spotting the flour that told her to stay on Sir Cecil’s Ride. Splashing along behind Lost in Translation, she seemed determined to shake me off which she soon managed to achieve by warning the steps coming down on the R2 loop were slippery. Having gingerly made my way down the steps, I realised I was once again running on my own, but at least I knew I was on trail and where the rest of the pack was.
With few incidents to report, the hash managed for the most part to get safely back to A. Tequila F*ckwit and Inflato claimed to be the first in, but others felt as they had only done the Wimps that didn’t really count. Slowly the pack wheezed into A and set about draining the supplies of beer Hopeless had carefully counted out. Finally it was time to go to the bash. But wait! There was still a hasher on trail! May. Was she ok? Apparently so and was talked back by Hopeless. But surely she had not gone out on her own? No, she had been following Randy von F*cker who, obviously not being able to get his way, had deserted her somewhere in the deep shiggy. Unfortunately, empty stomachs won out over concern for a stray hasher and we all went off to the restaurant, leaving Hopeless alone in his vigil. Our last hasher finally limped safely home one hour after the pack cursing all Belgians.
After a gweilo friendly meal not ordered by Wai Chee and that for some consisted mostly of beer, we were ready for down downs to begin with Randy von F*cker doing the honours as hash beer bitch.
Down downs – Indy
With Indy back most of us settled in for the long haul, only Sticky Sex Toy crept away before proceedings began.
There was then a brief interlude while the relative merits of a shag versus a cheese toastie were discussed (I may have missed a dd or two here as I was thinking, ‘I bet Burning Lust has eaten all the cheese as well as my lunch for tomorrow!’)
For those wanting a shag, Velcro Lips only lives 5 mins away and is willing to rent out a room by … the night? The hour? the minute?!
Hare – who enjoyed the run? The reply: everyone despite clambering through bamboo Well done as last minute hare as Teenie Weenie bailed (picking up posters or some such) – stand in Dr Evil
Hopeless for increasing his run ratio: set 118, run 827, average 7.83! Only 28 runs from the lead and currently Bobble D*ck is in NZ and Macau Drunk has broken ribs (it is claimed he tripped over a bridge, but many feel Hopeless had a hand in the ‘accident’!)
All those who did the full run: Cums in My Tunnel, Lost in Translation, Wai Chee Kok, O’Bollox, Hannah Montana, Kate, Just Add Alcohol
Short-cutting b*stards: Rooted, Velcro Lips and Indy
Returnees: Hannah Montana from Japan and Velcro Lips from 100m up the road (last ran LSWH3 in 2003!)
And Crackpot and O’Bollox from Stanley
And Randy von F*cker who does not run with LSWH3 very often (and after leaving May to the wild animals is unlikely to be welcome back again soon)
Back to the scintillating conversations Indy was having, Velcro Lips and Kannot Finnish were engaged in geography lessons (they got beer, the rest of us felt that if we needed to sit through a recap of this conversation we might need something a little stronger – was that whiskey Crackpot was boggarting?)
Velcro Lips – for not knowing that even in her own country there are places with 24 hours of daylight – viz. Scotland. So Lost in Translation also to drink.
At last, some dds about the trail and the first Check: Indy claimed the money pointed in wrong direction! So Hopeless to drink as he must have told someone to do that (?!??!)
Also, Indy believed there had been US money out there, Hopeless again explained different colours of Hellbank were used to mark different trails, he still had to drink though.
Only Wai Chee welcomed Indy back, but she only questioned if Indy would be doing dds, so the question is: does she have a shag too?
Babies, lots of hashers having babies soon: An@l Invitation (lookalike Wanchai W@nker), there was some discussion as to who the mother of the child was; Tequila F*ckwit (or more correctly, Will Not Cum) lookalike O’Bollox – congratulations more heartfelt this time. Any others? Crackpot and Lubricated Trojan?? No!!!
Non-runner: (Indy? No!) Yummy Mummy
Romantics – Hopeless kissing LiT even though she was only going away for five mins! A question: does Cums in my Tunnel still kiss Lubricated Trojan whilst arrogantly claiming that he’ll next see her at the end of the run?
What happy endings has Dr Evil had? He is still smiling though he left his girlfriend in Thailand
Hannah Montana for infamous run from Admiralty in which everyone nearly died and there was a profusion of dummy spitting: Dr Evil, Hopeless and Indy
Hopeless Down downs
Kannot Finnish for going to the wrong park, despite assuring Free Rider that he was in the usual park. As she stormed off to get him, it dawned on Kannot that maybe he was not in the usual park.
Kate for Pole Dancer resting his ankle in Flame.
Hopeless also had some interesting conversations: Inflato famous for opposition to getting married, but having asked Yummy three times, eventually she decided he was serious and so gave in.
Velcro Lips - lives so close but never been to this restaurant!
Japanese - Hannah Montana and Just Add Alcohol
Race season started: O’Bollox has signed up for43km Moontrekker, how’s training going? Great, been to gym once over 2 weeks!
Crackpot still on diet after hols – that is, the whiskey soda diet!
Back to Indy
Forgot the new additions – Gai Tai and Shake Your Bootie just had a horror, a girl for a change: a warm LSW welcome to her.
Message from Crackpot asking how Indy keeps her soda water cold? Why ask? (Not so short interlude on the subject of ice)
Hopeless - thanks for sorting out Hareline
Dr Evil want to set a run? Setting 2 runs, but neither for LSW!!
Big turnout despite rain – well done hare: round of applause for Hopeless
What are Kannot Finish and Free Rider doing?
Song!! And before 11pm – a record for Indy!