Tai Wo Hau MTR exit B

Hare - Thermal Dick

Facebook pictures here

Fab hash trash from Mr Thermal last week……. despite his many protestations that he would not do so!! Of course Firmhold Dyke did have good material to 'right' about with Fumio's 'T'd bridge' !! He had said that the pictures would tell the hash story….! Yes pix were also fab….. check out the LSW website...

Well this week doing the Wimps run as I did, there was nothing as controversial or noteworthy for me to report except for all those STEPS!!…. but unfortunately, or fortunately as the case may be… I missed the R's 'no shiggy' section that caused Hopeless to have one of his (these days) rare dummies……. the 'no shiggy' section which reduced others to tears…… and generally was as well-received as

'Fumio's T'd bridge'……..!! Hopeless even offered to write up that R section in the hash trash… 'Revenge is best served up cold!!' one of Inflato's fav sayings…… Of course, maybe Thermal set that Rambo trail deliberately as he said last week… 'the most memorable runs are the F**k up's…. hashers talk about them forever!!…. no pix were taken but Hopeless' GPS is worth checking…..

But I diverge…… back to the beginning of the run!…… Ah yes… the transport story….. Formal Duck had arrived late at the previous week's run as he had to come from Stepford side to Po Lam with 22 MTR stops…! This week I had to go from Po Lam side to his area…..so got to the run in time to see them all run past over the bridge in the opposite direction!!… The first face I saw was Sweaty's…. he was looking very serious indeed! No smile or 'Hi Indy! How's tricks?'… no.. From memory the last run he prob did was the Trailwalker 100 kms... so was hoping tonight's run would not be as arduous (or lengthy) as that! I saw Wai Chee who in contrast was looking as cheerful as ever, bouncing up and down as if on magic shoes… (bet Sweaty wished he could find some of those!)… then Park ‘n' Shop looking happy to be ahead of Parkie (as usual!), and Mr Parkie himself was looking a tad worried! He was out of his 'comfort area'….. in Tai Wo Hau.. and wondering how he could shortcut without it being obvious…….

But I wasn't the only late comer….. Rushi was late too…. his last LSW run being months before, and Elaine.… so off we trot over the road bridge, down steps…then immediately…lost!…. this was to be a repeating pattern for next few checks!!…. Back on trail, I come across Dr Evil who was pacing around and swearing in his best Danish at the FRB's… there was the check but no directional arrow…. 'was Hopeless not at the run, I thought? Had Firm Old D*ck not handed out the chalk?' Again, after much searching, yours truly found it up the steps and up the road… So Good!

Back on track…. we run! till another check… again no directional arrow…. more swearing, more checking, more steps… up and down steps… till finally found…….. and then on the trail that was to become known as the 'STEPford trail'!…… It consisted of a route march up up and up a million steps…. and then down down… and then up up and up and up… and down down down….. 'nice' steps though, and 'nice' trails....

I did note some interesting sights on the way….. such as the Tsuen Wan Water Treatment Plant's Married Quarters….. Having lived in Army MQ's in one of my former lives…I did not think this one would be quite the party zone that ours was??

So as said finally to the Wimps/Rambos split……. Before Hopeless regales you with his Rambo tale….. the Wimps left the Rambos right… so left along path I trot… and then at the R/W rejoin to head down more STEPs who do I see??? but Parkie… now he is either the FRB on the Rambos? or on Wimps trail? But it was clear that he unfortunately had to do the true trail as he couldn't find his elusive shortcut!!….. Then like the wind..or a hurricane…. Cheesy dashes past..I managed to call out 'How was the Rambos?…. but he was too fast for me to hear a reply….

But Hopeless was more than happy to share what really happened on the R trail…….

So, finally after 3.5km of STEPS up, with a small intermission of grassy knoll between housing estates, the run came to the Wimp / Rambo split, as predicted, on the catchwater above the Shing Mun villages we had just climbed through. Wimps go left, flat along the concreted track.

Cheesy Flying Fux and Platey were pushing onto the Rambo option, with Burning Lust, Hopeless and Lost In Translation in close proximity. The Check Back duly executed, the band of unsuspecting hashers headed up the STEPS off the bridge over the catchwater.

“Jolly well not on, Old Boy” quipped Burnt Lover, as the concrete ran out into riverbed. “That working class chap, Mr. Thermal, said there was no shiggy on tonight’s trail. I might have a few pucker words when I return from this, not on, don’t you know?”.

Well the choice words came out from LIT as the trail finally stopped ascending at the 4.5km mark. It then immediately went into SHIGGY. Steep downhill SHIGGY. Slippery SHIGGY. Wanchai Wanker falling over SHIGGY. Make Rooted cry SHIGGY.

4km of 1 in 2 gradient rocky, scratchy, dusty downhill scrambling. The Scottish “fook!” was only outdone by the bellowing behind from WW with alternate “WTF?!” and “Argghhhh, sheet!” as he fell again. Slightly behind W@nker a quiet whimpering could be heard, that of the fretting Rooted who was frequently calling into question the parentage of our haring Caledonian.

The SHIGGY ran out, as expected, at the catchwater, where the rejoin with the Wimps was to be found. Along with another 3,000 STEPS to the back end of Shing Mun Valley Park. The secret to Parky’s stamina is now out – as we neared the park, an ambulance with flashing lights was parked at the bottom of one bridge, obviously waiting for our resident Liverpudlian to give him a well needed burst of oxygen for his sprint to the finish via the rather nice (and big) Tsuen Wan Park.

Down Downs by Indy

The hare - Thermaldehyde….and the run!??? Great fun!!!!…..great steps…!

TD - Had told pack it was a 'No shiggy run!' ...the jury have decided otherwise!!

Lost In Translation / Rooted - was it a no shaggy run? …..

Hopeless - dummy spitting on the 'no shiggy run!'.

TD - Run officially known as the STEPford Town run…… all the DB Steptowners…. the hare/Parkn'Shop/Parkie

Co-hare - LSW Virgin….. Hans Solo… attendance record 100%, run ratio 100%

Hopeless - competition from Hans Solo for run ratio

TD - Fab newsletter…predicting a 'F**k up this week…… knew how Fumio felt when pack got lost /confused at the famous bridge….. hoped it would not happen to him….. too late!

TD - too lazy to write up DD's…… scanned my atrocious handwriting instead!!

Fumio - Interesting run last week…….. to be ine the LSW book of 'unforgettable' hashes...

TD - Who were all the new hashers last week? Loving Bra? Leaning Breast? Loaded Bum? Brimming Lover?…. Ahhhh… Burning Lust has split personalities…..

The scottish hare - speaks a very strange language….. Hopeless kindly asks if he needs any help before the run… Reply - Pqoedzl… Even Hopeless' Scottish translator could not decipher…

All the Scots - LIT / TD/ Sweaty / and 2 visitors from Edinburgh (Ian & Angela)…. that's what his hash shirt said!

Thermal - actually knowing the history of why Edinburgh written as Edinbvrgh……?

TD - had invited the Scottish mates from Edinburgh esp for the run…just to keep the numbers up!

Rooted - suffering from shiggy/shaggy…. but actually cause Wanchai W@nker would not help on trail so felt deserted!!…

WW - He is no KISA! (Knight In Shining Armour... that’s Hopeless)

LIT - and the shiggy? Scottish abuse at the Scottish hare…...

Returnee - Vibrator..

Sweaty / Vibrator - did the Malaysian 50 km Hash Challenge in same team 5 years before… but sat at different tables, no talkies… did not recognise each other…… 'Times… they are a changing!'

Sweaty - completed the 100km Trail Walker ! Well done!….. now who hasn't paid up??

Vibrator - deep scratches on his head from the 'no shaggy' run!

Hopeless - Movember! One of his pix on FB horrid… looked barbaric…..

Hopeless - 'I have no ego!!'

LIT - 'If kept that look you would have no g/F!'

Parkie - worried how to 'shortcut' in unknown area…..

Parkie - the secrets out….. comes back close to A in ambulance…. then runs last 100 metres… 'Did anyone catch me out?'

Formal Duck - thanks for run….. scratches…… great fun and bash……!!