HK Squash Centre, Garden Road.
Hares: Gai Tai & Shake Yer Booty
This run was back to front. Upside down. In reverse…. And that’s not a Hopeless neckie, it was actually the hares’ April Fool’s Run plan!
Gai Tai, somewhat patiently, tried to explain his markings. “The arrows are all in the opposite direction. Arrows on the Checks point inwards. When you see an ONON it is really the false trail. A reverse T is the true trail. The W option is the long one (no kidding!) and the R is the shorter version.
Yes… a bazillion…… mostly from the more feminine fraternity of the 30 strong pack. “So why are the arrows all the wrong way round?” “Why is the Wimps longer?” “Is my new expensive Brazilian going to survive the run?” “Do we have to run facing backwards then?”…. and so on.
“Let me explain again”, says Gai Tai, face now scrunching up and frown lines appearing like the cracks in the salt plains of the Utah desert.
So we were sent off up Tramway Path, past the WWF offices, and the first Check on Kennedy Road. Crash Test and Come Into My Tunnel going for the stairwell, but Hopeless, Lost In Translation and Chatroom guessing left along Kennedy. Bingo! A “T” – i.e. “On On”.
Next Check by MacDonnell Road screws the pack, until finally Octopussy finds a backward arrow on the stairs up to Mother’s Choice. Up, again, to Borret Road. Another tricky set of stairs up onto Bowen Road, and towards Island School, Comes Up The Rear charging ahead (no calling, marking, etc…!).
Bowen Road and the defining (open) Check. Ruggero and Retarded Buttf*ck find flour in the playground. Hopeless finds flour and markings up the old path towards The Dutch Path. Crash Test finds markings going along Bowen Road. In short we found H4 trail all over the place, which the hare, in his last minute marking, failed to cross or T (“OnOn”) off.
The actual true trail went up the new pipeline, used by LH4 several times in the past month, possibly found by Chatroom or CUTR, I know not because by the time I and CTD had come back to the Check, the entire pack had disappeared over the horizon.
“More the fool’s us” cracks CTD and belts up the stairs. We pass Lost In Space, HP Salsa and Shake Yer Booty. Out onto the Service Reservoir Road, left onto Dutch Path (curses, should have gone on up the steps earlier, April Fools!) past Indy, Swimsuit, Crackpot, O’Bollocks, and new runner Jo Hawley. End of Dutch Path, pack totally gone, but marking the Checks, passing Suck My Pills, Butt Fan (“I have a job for over a year now Hopeless, not got fired yet!”) and Frank The Plank (“Haven’t had a job in years Hopeless, who needs one when I can spend all day avoiding life’s rich foods like milk and cheese”) going down Wanchai Gap.
Right, and to… yup, no fooling this time, Bowen Road again and a Check down the badminton court towards Shui Fai Terrace, the “Wimps” being sent on, led by Ruggero, Lost In Translation and Retarded, along Bowen Road. The usual left turn onto Tung Shan Terrace, Stubbs Road, and back to Shui Fai to rejoin the Rambos.
The “Rambos” head down to Shui Fai Terrace and Kennedy Road, and onto Stone Nullah Lane, Sweaty Snail Gobbler shouting “Merd! Poisson d'avril? C'est des conneries! PAH!” and goes along Kennedy Road to the finish.
The true trail actually went all the way along Queen’s Road East, up Justice Drive, and past Gai Tai’s office, “The Consulate General of Great Britain”. Into HK Park, RIGHT, alongside the Tea Museum, (missed by most), onto Garden Road, and into the finish.
First “Rambo” Hopeless, followed by the flowering Lubricated Trojan. “That was a great run, but now I’m running with a basketball in front, I may stick to the aircon gym very soon”.
First “Wimp”, Lost In Translation, on a run of form currently, with Come Into My Tunnel shortly in behind, and the returning Retarded bringing in the podium finishers.
Great run, novel idea that eventually everyone got to grips with!
Down Downs by Indy (under pressure from the closing restaurant)
The Hare - Gai Tai …….April Fool's Day Run…..excellent idea, all markings backwards/opposite/inverted……except No Home…!!
O'Bollocks - Markings confused most except for the Irish!!…and Frank the Plank (in absentia)
Gai Tai - a natural to set that run……loves themes and pranks….(oh, and history!!)
Gai Tai - so busy last week with run setting/haring and socialising that no time to do write up of Epic Run!! The 2000th…..Watch this space…
Sheik Yer Booty - still owes Run Report from MD's run at Lamma 3 months ago……actually had done it! Was in her email mobile, but had forgotten to press 'Send"!!
Flagpole/Hopeless - been checking emails every second since last Wednesday midnight, watching for the 2000th Run Report!!
Those who did not attend the 1999 or 2000th run - Comes In My Tunnel/ Lubricated Trojan / Boilers / Rearender……..
Macau Drunk - remembers little about the 2000th run DD's…. 'Who is this new hasher, Flagpole?? Was Nutcut's son really named then?'….and of all sins, has not read the magazine yet!!
Lost In Space - had great idea for the 2001 run….instead of the April Fool's Day theme…..'2001 - Lost In Space Odyssey!!'…but run already taken….Gotta get in quick!!
Lubricated Trojan - turns up for run …definitely 'mit kinder'…
Lubricated Trojan - Complains that the extra 7kg really slows her down…but still running faster than many….
LT - at least she will be able to get rid of her 7kg when bambino appears in 3 months..…..
The 7kg club…those who also wish to get rid of 7kg in next 3 months…..weigh in starts after Easter Chocolate Hols….
Lost In Translation - running up steps from Bowen Rd….(whilst yours truly takes a well-deserved rest!!)
Bare-chested non-hasher running up steps chasing LIT…sees all hash pack and runs back down…..
Macau Drunk - guiding his mate on trail and across wooden bridge with holes…. 'Have you got it visual?' says he….ignores me completely, but apparently cause his mate had no torch….
MD's mate - fellow Zimbabwe mate, having been at Primary School together……(now an Ozzie!)
Flagpole/Hopeless - runs past on trail in grumpy mood! (like the old days….!!)!! 'Got lost! Bloody FRB's….no markings!'
Crash Test Dummy - had been running and lost with Flagpole……we got 'April Fool'd' , says he!
'RAMBO' split - marked with 'Conor did the R's…..all R runners…as written by Crackpot!
Hopeless - we ran past his previous Military Barracks home again…opposite the Consulate General of Great Britain!!
Returnees - Retarded Buttf**k/ Chocolate Starfish with children,…
Shortcutters - Sweaty Snail Gobbler…..
Gai Tai - 'must hurry and finish…they are throwing us out!!
Hopeless to Lost In Translation- presents her with her medal for winning last Sat night's race..'WWF Run For Change'…whilst everyone else was enjoying fallout of Rugby 7's….
Gai Tai - Great April Fool's Day Run!! Great bash…..
And then it was On On On to QV for the second week in a row!!!