LSW 1996 - Wednesday 4th March, 2015


HKU MTR to Lan Kwai Fong

via zylophone path, High West, Harlech Rd, Old Peak Rd

Wimps about 7km
Rambos 9.14km 86mins
Super Rambos 10.48km 93mins

Hares: Chatroom Paedophile & Toilet Spray

The OPORD (Operational Orders) were delivered via the Chatroom outside the elevator exits of the new HKU MTR station. As in any Mission Briefing it possessed the ABCs of military briefings: Accuracy, Brevity, and Clarity [1].
Accuracy – “This is not a short mission”
Brevity – “Not flat”
Clarity – “It will be wet and cold”

Captain Pubic Hare (also known as Sweaty Snail Gobbler) looked over his fellow troops in apprehension. Squad leader “Tinny” was geared up, bandana and jock strap firmly locked into place. Staff Sergeant “Taffy” Hopeless all greased up, sphincter closed tight against the cold weather. Chiselled “Rug” with hair tied back, his Rambo-esk appearance fooling nobody, the soft nature of his calming persona oozing out of those damp locks. Backed up by “Scotty” and “Pancho” of the Lost family, the rounded features of “Cooky”, more Welshness from the nymph “Niamh” and local knowledge of “Genghis” Tam, rounded out a total squad size of 21.

Mission Commanders CP and TS stood back, the outline chart spread before them like the Map of Middle Earth from The Hobbit. “Three options for today, Wimps, Rambos and Super Rambos. Rambos should only be attempted by elite squad members possessing the necessary equipment – head torch, gloves, and a sense of insane adventure”. “Ja!” retorted our German “Keine furcht haben!”. Heirin-Mein-Unterführung was feeling confident, his fingerless gloves gleaming in the swirling mist. The lanky figure of “Christo” raised up one corner of his mouth, but, as usual, remained silent in his observations. “Ginger” Muirhead looked pensive as his thoughts moved to how he could get a lead on the rest of his team members in these trying conditions.

Just as the orders to go were given, “Oz” Miles staggered into the arena, hair in its usual “Albert Einstein wind-swept” look. “Don’t mind me,” she gasped, “got a bit held up by dogs, kids, weather, and the need to procure vast quantities of a clear, volatile liquid”.

With a whimsical waive of the hand, the expeditionary force were sent off over the Remagen style bridge into HKU. Clearance of the campus took some time, the Check on University Avenue causing combat delay until Private Octo called the “On” up along the pipeline up towards Kotewall Road. A Check Back saw Captain Pubic Hare lead the guerrilla force onto The Xylophone Path. 1.5 clicks later the group hit a Check, having offloaded the Wimp patrol earlier along the path, led by medic, Doc Evil.

Non-standard Mission Control markers had been laid as a “Back Check” and so the patrol groups gathered back together again, scouring the nearby bush for tell-tale signs of the previous reconnaissance by CP & TS. With Tinny & Niamh racing each other, finally markers were found heading up towards the imposing Victoria Peak.

Trail then continued, predictably, onto the contour path below this high geographic feature, clouded in mist and mystery as the night darkness drew in, its summit obscured by the thick layers of swirling fog. “Squad split!” yelled Captain Pubic. Taffy, Scotty and Cooky headed up the steps, with the Super Rambos continuing along the contour, Ginger, Christo, Rug, Tinny, HMU, Niamh, along with the Captain.

The Taffy-led group were somewhat surprised to arrive at the base of High West, with markers clearly showing the mission route was UP. Profound profanities from Scotty drove the group on, with Genghis in hot pursuit by this stage, catching up. Two of the squad decided to take a prudent “flanking move” – Pancho and Oz swinging a left onto Hatton Road to intercept the two other groups on Lugard Road.

Meanwhile, in an act of outrageous subordination and sheer pig-headedness, Tinny mutinied and carried the advance force too far south, and missed the turn off into the dense bush. Post mission report from Rug clearly documents the goings on – “after doing that trail twice we saw a faint bit of chalk on a rock that looked like it had been there weeks - apparently that was the Check. The trail just headed into the bush but if you searched the trees there was a legacy bit of ribbon that was suspicious - that was our clue....”

While chaos ensued down below, the middle group ploughed on, climbing onto the Trig Point at 415 metres elevation, taking the long downhill in their stride. Mission markers were evident for the rest of the journey, although somewhat lacking in any “Checks”, meaning the remaining 4km of the task was a straight run for home, the Lok Hing Lane amphitheatre in Lan Kwai Fong.

Doc Evil had led the short team home with no dramas, but not all was well back with the premier group who were scaling the south side of High West. Rug, with his hand held torch, did not fare well, having ignored CP’s mandate for the climb. Worse was to come for the group, as they dropped the weakening Captain Pubic Hare on the cliff face. “The Darwin Theory will take care of slackers!” yelled Tinny, tightening his jock strap to tear-inducing levels. Capt. PH was aided though by Private Disco, her bright torch and encouragement prising CPH off the rocks, thoughts of survival and returning alive to his daughter, foremost in his mind.

Finally, nerves repaired, the Captain and Disco rallied and completed the mission, running into the steppes somewhat exhausted – adrenaline still pumping at a furious pace. Furious indeed was CPH as hands on hips and pacing were required in order to restore his blood pressure and temperature to normal levels…..

Another successful Little Sai Wan Hash with cold beers (no Carlsberg!) as the reward.

[1] References:
US Army Doctrinal Reference Publication 5-0
US Army Field Manual 7-8
US Army Field Manual 101-5, Appendix H

Food was onsite from the nearby “Mr. Taco Truck”, burrito’s of various varieties.

Down Downs by Indy

The 1996 Hares - Chat Spray / Toilet Paedo .....3 runs to choose from! And on a wet and windy Wednesday night the hashers were all left to chose their own running/climbing/falling fate.....

Wimps - included the hardcore Bobbleduck / Dr Evil...what did they know that the rest did not? Returned as happy little campers...

Rambos 1 - had actually 2 options ...up and over High West...Hopeless / Lost In Translation /Anal R/ Just Adds Alcohol /Octo / Suck My Pills...reports were that the top was windswept and almost blew them away.......

Hopeless - 'Not best choice for such a tempetuous, wild and windy typhoon style night'.......

Rambos 2 - then there were the 'smart' Rambo runners who went round the hill on road section following Southside markings!! No 'foul' play that way,,,or foul language! Lost In Planet / Indy...

The Lost Family - no 'Losts' were lost!

Then there were the 'rambo' Super Rambos who went up the treacherous side of High West......Teeny Weeny / Mea Gulpa / Crash Test / Macau Drunk / Sweaty Snail Gobbler / CUTR / CIMT/ Discover Her Bei ...most of whom loved that 'challenge' despite the weather conditions,,,

Macau Drunk - carrying hand torch up trail instead of head torch as instructed by hares.....

Sweaty SG - His usual calm manner had evaporated on the SR path as he clung for dear life onto his large rock of survival.....

Discover Her Bei - SSG's hero! She managed to prise his hands free from the rock to assure him that he could make it to B safely to see his daughter again......

SSG - last 'run' when he was in such close proximity cuddling a huge rock was run set by Ivana Nucock / Hannes...

SSG - has a new meaning for SR...'That was NOT a hash', said he through glazed eyes......

Chatroom - setting the SR run.....and thriving on the 'war stories' afterwards.......

TS - Setting the Rambos but with no checks after hitting the top.......?

Bobbleduck - At W/R split peeled off to Wimps run? and called out to Indy 'You'll get lost if you do the Rambos'??? Que??

Octo - going up the rocks on Rambo section was another victim of 'paralysed fear!'!! 'This is far too dangerous!!' said she who has spent a recent holiday in Israel and scoffed at the word 'fear'!!

Non Runners - Lubricated Trojan ...sat in the warmth of the Globe supping on a softie rather than taking on the challenge of High West!....

TS /Chatroom- last week's newsletter.....'Now I am in a serious relationship '......she realises that she is offering 'convenience'!! All those 'serial' relationship folks? Of course CIMT and LT......"having my baby!!'.........Hopeless / LIT - anniversary time!! ...all others?

KOTH runners - Hopeless....signed up for 4 races but only did 1!! /SSG / An@l /CIMT /CUTR / Bei / Mea

Mea Gulpa - first female in her race KOTH last week....Well Done!!

The hares - great venue for finish! and mexican bash on site

Hopeless - 'volunteering' to step up to do the 1997 run..the Handover Run!!

HKU to LKF 150304 10.48km 93mins