LSW 1970, Wednesday 3rd September 2014


Kennedy Town

Hare - Complete, Utter Bastard


The briefing: marked the night before with potential for rain on the day, so marked in orange ribbon for on and purple for wrong way. Flour and chalk has been used to remark some of the route. The first couple of ks is a complete, utter bastard and a bit more pace thereafter

On on to the first check on Victoria Rd and up towards Sai Wan Estate. After that there was a bit of confusion on the slope maintenance paths before going straight up the shiggy to the top of Mt Davis - bent over double to clear the undergrowth. I don’t think I’ve done that route before. Past the bunkers then the youth hostel then round the reservoir down Mt Davis Path. Left on Mt Davis Rd and right down the broken road through the edge of the cemetery to Victoria Rd. Wimps right. Rambos left.

A bit of a mistake up Sassoon Rd to the Queen Mary so back down along further along Victoria starting to wonder where we would be turned around to begin the homeward leg. Well another dilapidated concrete ex-footpath (can’t recall having done that one before) to emerge on Kong Sin Wan Rd at the back of Cyberport. Follow the Cyberport Rd then left past the Sandy Bay sports fields, behind the Duchess of Kent Children’s Hospital up and onto Victoria Rd. On home past Cecil Chao’s and the Island West Transfer Station. Excellent run.

Down Downs by FFFM

The Hare, finally we got the right year. The Hare was actually born in 1970! Well done on a great fun run of 9.5k with the first 2k now known as the “Heads and Snails Trail”, keeping the pack together, followed by alternate stretches of road to stretch your legs and well found shiggy paths to keep it interesting. Final leg home downhill road race… ooops no racing on the hash!

The Hare, an intelligent English man, you’d think. In fact, a partner at a top law firm no less, but when given a pen to mark the hashers in, was unable to figure out how to use it. Took an American to show him to take the lid off, Lost in Space!

Comes up the Rear running so fast he missed the obvious flour marking to the right. The only real bit of flour on trail.

The Hare setting the run in orange and purple ribbon but the police officer on trail, Agnes B, pre-laying the trail with blue and white police ribbon. Apparently it shows where the dead body was stashed.

Crash Test Dummy and Cheesy Flying Fox’s secret is out. The reason they run so fast is because they run semi-naked. Both just wear skimpy little shorts and so ladies, if you want to keep up, topless is the way to go!

A couple of disable hashers spent ages in the disable toilets getting showered and changed. Standards have dropped. No not Toilet Spray or Sticky but Gai Tai and Macau Drunk. Not sure if they were together or their disability – no one will tell.

Toilet Spray has a new job – as a trapeze artist at the local circus. Her knees gave way at the end apparently. But she looked really professional on FB.

Lubricated Trojan is playing away tonight as (1) no food in the house but more importantly (2) hubby is away till tomorrow

Lubricated Trojan needs Lubricating so another DD for her as she’s started driving in HK but at 6.30 am.

The Hare, hospitalizing Christian P. on his trail. No Name Christian ran through the dangerous Heads and Snails trail where others suffered, through the shiggy, and up and down broken steps without hurting himself but then in the last 5 minutes of the run, on road and trying to race a bus, fell and cut his arm. The arm needed 4 stitches which took 3 hours at the hospital. While the other hashers were dining at the Kennedy Town Food Market he was devouring a 7-11 sandwich.

During dinner Macau Drunk and Gai Tai spent the whole time talking politics, and what Great Britain would do to Beijing.

Still at dinner, Wanchai Wanker finally found a chili sauce that made him cry. Refused to drink it and chose a beer instead.

TV Tits looked lovely in her silver sequin top on trail but only ran to the first shiggy, “Sod this” and ran back to A. So looking very fresh for dinner.

Crash Test Dummy has got such a large @rse, he had to get a bigger chair than everyone else. Seems like the Hare had to too, so both drink.

And while the Hare is up, a DD for setting a final CB with Wanchai Wanker to the library instead of the food hall. Apparently they were trying to educate the hashers. It’s too late comes the cry. Thankfully the food hall was found and a huge amount of Thai food ordered for just $90 a head.

Suck my Pills doing brilliantly as the Virgin Beer Bitch, again dressed in pink. Is this the new LSWH3 uniform?

From the floor: Lost in Space on the wimps trail was overtaken by Toilet Spray: “Are you doing the Wimps?” shouts LIS unbelievable, “No, definitely not. I’m doing the Lost Rambos instead!”

Wanchai Wanker then appointed as RA suggested that the No Name Hare be named, finally. As the Hare had proclaimed at the start of the run that this was a “Total Utter Bastard” of a run…. In the name of the beers on offer, including Kirin thank you, he was named: Total Utter Bastard or T.U.B.s for short.

Finally, the song was then sung by T.U.B.s, Wanchai Wanker and Macau Drunk. Second verse same as the first but a little bit louder and a little bit worse, sung by everyone. Then home and in bed by 11pm!

 Cadogen Street 140903 9.49km 86mins