What is that saying again, the one about "if the walk from the MTR to the run start is longer than your MTR journey, you know that you're in for an Inflato HTFU run"? Well, that was certainly the case on Wednesday when I found myself taking more than 10 minutes to get to A. I picked up Scott and Kirsten along the way, looking equally baffled about the long trudge before the hash even started.
The pack took off at almost quarter past, and after a couple of checks we came to the other side of Kowloon Tong MTR where no markings were found. The FRBs were restless, zooming about in all directions trying to find the next blob of flour. Cheesy Flying Fox finally broke it when he went up the road that Comes Up the Rear apparently checked before. On to another main road, through some shiggy path and then the Wimps/Rambos split.
So it was at this point that I had a devil-and-angle-on-the-shoulder moment. I knew that the Rambos option was going to be a long grind up Beacon Hill (thanks Hopeless for the tip) but really, the Wimps route was just too wimpy. With Lubricated Trojan and Dunkn No-Nuts hot on the trail behind me, I decided to do the Rambos option. Shortly after I made the decision I saw the words "Get ready to HTFU" scribbled on the ground. Well, no turning back now!
It was a long, long walk/run/shuffle up the reservoir road off Lung Yan Road followed by a hard right on the Maclehose trail up more steps. Just as I was about to self-combust from the heat and 100% humidity, Cheesy came flying down saying it was a Checkback! Phew. True trail went down a flight of steps, and then down into some shiggy.
At this point on the hash, somehow Wanchai Wanker found himself at the front of the pack followed by Cheesy, Comes Up the Rear and me. Cheesy managed to fly over him (as you do), but unfortunately Comes Up the Rear and I could not find a way past him. A couple of polite "Excuse me", "On your left", etc did not have effect on him. It was very puzzling - was WW being rude? Or did he want to keep us behind so that he can "win" the hash? Finally I saw an opening and when I tried to overtake, he promptly shoved me out of the way!! Well, well, looks like Chivalry is truly dead. Luckily I don't weigh less than 80 pounds like Sticky Sex Toy or Octopussy, so I didn't go flying off the trail with that big shove from his big shoulder. I pressed on, and finally overtook him. WW - in case you need a reminder, just because everyone is faster than you doesn't mean that we are racing on the hash.
After the shiggy it was just about another 4km of road to pound down on home, during which time Cheesy and I overtook TV Tits and HP Salsa, and later, Lost in Space (who all sensibly did the shorter route). After another 20 minutes the rest of the pack returned except for Wanchai Wanker, who inexplicably came in dead last and started whinging about the lack of Asahi beer. If only Yummy Mummy and Inflato threw a bash at their penthouse, then we wouldn't run out of beer! Thank you hares, for a great run.
DownDowns by FFFM:
1966 was a great year for England however, not one English person stepped up to the plate to set this week's run so it was down to a Kiwi to set it. So DDs to punish all the English: Gary Glitter, Wanchai Wanker, Donkan Donuts, Lubricated Trojan and Rosie.
And who did they beat in 1966 but Germany and so let's have the unbearable German, Comes in my Tunnel (CIMT) upstanding for a DD.
Back to the Hare, Inflatadate, well done on setting a great run, but was the 1k from the MTR to the Start really needed, especially in 32oC heat!?
Comes in my Tunnel has the solution re: the heat, he's currently working on his shaft which is 40m deep and cool and will try to set a hash there soon.
HP Salsa was very pleased with himself as Gobi Lo asked if he could set the 1967 Hash, surely he was born around then? Nope, last Sunday he actually celebrated his 65th birthday and so is now an official OAP. Happy Belated Birthday HP Salsa.
Talking about OAPs, Thermal Dick outsourced last week's run in Disco Bay to an OAP who still works, Thank you, Mr and Mrs Parky.
Anyone who has run on any of Inflatadate's runs in the past knows that there's always rain, however this time the rain gods were smiling. Rain before and after but not during. Well done.
Welcome back Gary Glitter who has been unwell. Not only broke his ankle but it got infected and so he was in hospital for 2 weeks on two drips one with antibiotics and the other with alcohol.
Welcome back too to Tom Turk who was guilted into coming to the hash having only done 20 runs in 10 years. This is his 21st!
CIMT traumatized a learner driver on the run tonight. With his bright torch he ran right in front of the car blinding the poor learner driver so much so that the instructor had to reach over and grab the steering wheel to avoid CIMT crash. On came the breaks and the obligatory horn.
Hash crashes happened with HP Salsa and TV Tits tripping over the same brick.
Yummy Mummy for not ending the run at the love shack with hot showers and the famous Apple Cheese Cake, hopefully next week!
And talking of cheese, everyone knows hashing is not a race, right? But you also know that if Cheesy Flying Fox was behind me then I would let him go by as he's slightly faster than me, well just a bit… and so who do you think is the faster runner between Wanchai Wanker and Gobi Lo… right, WW - let Gobi Lo pass you and don't push her over when she finally gets a little bit of room to pass.
Inflatadate spoiling the hashers this week with 4 different types of beer including Asahi and then Wanchai Wanker for complaining there was no Asahi left. Run faster next time!
Inflatadate also bribing the park warden with empty beer cans so that she would leave the hose pipe on for the wet sweaty hashers to get that little bit wetter.
TV Tits, agnes b, Yummy Mummy chatting up the chef so much that he donated his sweaty, salty nuts for free for them to eat.
All three ladies have MBA certificates tonight, "Married but Available" and now there were 3 chefs so a DD for all of them…. And talk about married …
DDs for all the happily married couples Inflatadate and Yummy Mummy and Comes in my Tunnel and Lubricated Trojan. Now DD for the happily married wife who has marked her husband with a permanent ID bracelet.
Such a considerate happily married couple, Comes in my Tunnel and Lubricated Trojan checked with each other before eating the garlic with a prawns and so they both have the same smelly breath.
Wanchai Wanker doesn't care as his wife's away and so he finishes off the rest of the garlic.
Wanchai Wanker for leaving his dirty underwear on display and on top of "my bag", gross!
Thermal Dick's new tshirt, gone are the witty comments and phrases, now it's just an arty pattern.
Gary Glitter is taking his daughter to New York for her 21st birthday although he mistakenly mentioned that it was for her wedding too. News to Rosie!
Maybe she's to marry one of the French blokes that live nearby in Yuen Long, as apparently when Gary Glitter and family were watching TV the other night a bunch of frogs hopped into the flat.
Lubricated Trojan doing really well collecting the hash cash especially as she's currently funding her villa in Italy - and paying for the honeymoon shouts CIMT.
HP Salsa finally remembered his wife and that she hadn't had dinner and so asked if he could pack the leftover food to take home - what a loving husband!
From the floor, Wanchai Wanker to F3M for putting her dirty sweaty running kit in his bag (hopefully to wash and return) thinking it was her bag.
Lost in Space to F3M for keeping her clothes on… [it was only my shirt I was suggesting taking off!]
Hare for a great run, keeping the pack together on those CBs and even losing some of the FRB so that the wife came before the husband and then a great restaurant with moving chairs and tables. Thank you!
The song was then quickly sung and the pack departed their separate ways.