LSW 1919 – Po Toi


Hopeless Birthday run & junk trip - Mystery Island

The much awaited and in demand LSW hash was upon us - The Hopeless Birthday bash with a junk trip to our Mystery Island. In true Hopeless fashion the directions and instructions to the start were a hash write up on their own.

The pack assembled in good time, with some exceptions, namely The Parkies and Frank the Plank, who only just made it as he came running franticly calling from the jetty for the boat to return and pick him up. By now the mystery location was revealed as Po Toi Island, so no surprise there. Off we sailed in to the still moonless night. The pack lounged in expectation of what lie ahead. Protocol on a junk is to crack open a beer or two after the off, but no such luck with all too healthy LSW sipping their water. Hopeless delivered the briefing something about live hare up to first check then after that FRB's to mark the trail. A couple of maps were produced of the route, but honestly there is only one trail to follow, clockwise or anti clockwise around the island. A Wimp/Rambo split was advised with another Rambo loop thrown in around the lighthouse.

Upon arrival at the pier Hopeless nipped off rather nifty to lay the trail and the pack mingled awaiting the go signal. We knew where the trail was going as in the dark moonless night Hopeless torch could be clearly seen as he ascended the summit of Po Toi. About 10 minutes or so after Hopeless departure the pack were off lead by Lemon Drop and other FRBs. Left turn at the pier to attack the trail in a clockwise route, along the concrete path and past the restaurant on the beach. It was here Thermal was overheard in discussion with Quiche about how tempting it was to stop off and have a few beers, rather than tackle what was up ahead. The pack started to spread out as we climb the hill through some shiggy then on to the rocky trail. Some of the pack heading up the rear had difficulty in finding the trail at the top but eventually got through with Hopeless back tracking to sweep, as only he would do. On to the split with Rambo trail now being live hared by FRBs. Wimp trail led straight down and on in to the pier. A pleasant trail around the island even though predictable, but the moonless night made for a little trickery for some. According to Hopeless the whole pack missed the temple which was to be an event?

Showers for all back at the boat and plenty of crisps to munch into while the food was being set up with FFFM in control. Great spread, catered for all tastes and plenty of it Birthday Cheese cake prepared for Hopeless and this finished off the meal quite nicely.

Special circle called for the Birthday celebration and chaired by Boilers with 10 things you did not know about HOPELESS

1. His real name is Mark Anthony

2. He claims to be Welsh, but was born in Leeds

3. He has a fascination for the SAS and wishes he was part of it instead of selling computers

4. His prestigious Japanese employers send him on long haul travel by Economy Class

5. He failed to turn up to his own stag-night under orders of his then future and soon to be ex-spouse

6. He is rumoured to have a secret girlfriend name of FM3, but we have yet to see any kissing or hand-holding

7. (This item deleted by order of Mrs Boilers)

8. There was an occasion when he didn't have a post hash neckie…. sometime back in the 1990s

9. Although generally considered to be rather a hard-boiled egg, he does have a softer side being quite a fan of the ballet. Has also been spotted at the theatre watching Shakespeare (in hash gear of course).

10. Ermmm…… that's enough

A chorus of happy birthday given by the pack then back onto the boat for the down downs as by FFFM & Hopeless


Telecom - Standing many checks from last Sunday's run and not shouting them

Boilers and Flo - subjecting their child to watching Taming of the Shrew

Frank the Plank- New fancy runners watch and unable to switch it off

Hare- Not satisfied with 4 runs in a week so decide to do a 10K up the peak too

Tequila - For supposedly responsible for Lala headache so when in taxi ate 2 packets of crisps. Just as well we had Pringles for backup munchies

Whistle Blower & Shiggy Gaga- Virgins to Po Toi

Chatroom- New girlfriend, well dog friend and Lemon Drop

Boilers- Attempting to save water and asked Helena to take shower with him

Mr & Mrs Parky- On holiday yet still late for the boat departure

Gobi Lo- Spoiling Lemon Drop as now looking a bit porky and put on weight so slowing up and holding back Crash Test & Tinnie

Inflato- Can find his way to fly back today from China yet got lost from Kowloon to Aberdeen - unfortunately Cathy don't fly this route

Macau Drunk- Despite HK Government cancelling fireworks went ahead and had his own party with flags

Legally Blond- Had serious meltdown today when Facebook crashed and could not download her photos

Thermal Dick- Stalking young ladies in yesterday's run and taking their photos

Tequila- Good to see made the boat this. On last boat outing refused entry by the captain as he was vomiting his guts out while being spread like a star fish

Boilers- Remembered the junk for Hopeless but forgot about booking it for Rear Enders Birthday on Saturday = blames the secretary

WW- Only one to dig out the last Birthday run tee shirt

Hopeless- For not putting a year on the tee shirt - ageless

Crash Test- Missing the temple and leading everyone else astray. How else would he have been able to catch the hare!

Over 50's in the circle to give Hopeless 1 tip only on how to enjoy his last year in his 40's

Sylvia Mum & Dad- When Sylvia hungry offered a sandwich to which Mum replied " oh no my child does not do sandwiches"

Gary Glitter- Only allowed on the boat because he is next week's hare - mug!

Randy Von Fuc@er- Doesn't get fed at home, spent all his money on a Mid- Levels gaff, so first in the queue to hog the food

Shiggy Gaga- Hard enough job being hash cash yet moaning at Legally Blond for giving her pocket money in coins to cover the bash

Mea Culpa- Has been married just one year and now resorting to wearing sexy outfits in bed - Victoria Secrets compression socks in bed

Shiggy Gaga- Collecting hash cash but not giving back the correct change

Hopeless DD

Flato- Proxy vote for yummy who is now sleeping after actually running tonight

Sticky Sex Toy- Getting Hopeless excited as offered to give him a blow- yes a blow kiss - live in hope!!

Crash Test & Tinnie Winnie- Saving hare on the trail

WW- So called wedding of the decade in 2 weeks

Boilers- failing to qualify in time to be the vicar at WW wedding

Pole dancer- Welcome back since last Nov but needs to wash next time

Tinnie Winne - Confusion over next week's run. Can make up with girlfriend now as not setting now so let off the hook

Randy Von Fuc@er- Bought red wine for Hopeless to celebrate Birthday, but Boilers had other ideas and quaffed it down with others, none for Hopeless

Mrs Parky- Birthday yesterday but no 01st Fireworks, so Mr Parky provided his own bangers!! to Mrs Parky's delight

Mrs Parky DD

Hopeless- Another name NISAM - Night In Shinning Armour - always checking to make sure the runs are perfect

Po Toi


Attached is the full set of trails from last night's Po Toi special.
Annoyingly it seems none of the pack went around the pretty Tin Hau Temple on the headland and I wasted half my bag of flour in the attempt to drag you around there! Never mind!!
So "tale of the tape"....
Red - Denvy and Super Rambos, 5.62km, 200 metres of positive elevation
Purple - F3M and Rambos, 4.50km, 187 metres of positive elevation
Yellow - Hopeless and Wimps (plus back to sweep, etc), 4km, 150 metres of positive elevation
In yellow after 1.5km it can be plainly seen where the hare got temporarily lost in the dark!