Bobbledick - 25 years of running with the LSW
Hares: Bobbledick, Barge Pole & Hopeless
With the dynamic duo hares for next week absent (one on holiday, one sipping peppermint tea infront of the TV), a "guest writer" from the Royal Southside Hash was invited to air his views on one of his rare LSWH3 experiences. His epistle follows below.
Bubbledicks 25 years of Hashing.
On a wet but historic Wednesday night - as we huddled in the Noonday Gun Tunnel like a bunch of badly dressed refugees [much to the now normal bemusement of the locals] it felt like it could have been the end of the World. Possibly - but that would have been a bit less chaotic with less shouting. The Run details were given by [a slightly agitated Hopeless] -"Live hare, 7 bags of flour, no Check markings - just any junction might be a Check [pack nods as if this is perfectly sane] and no *Checkbacks! The route sort of goes over there [waves towards the park] - you might go past where horses might be (Hopeless gives a fiendish look) [personally I'm still stumped on that one] [Hopeless - i.e. Happy Valley Jockey Clubhouse complex on Shan Kwong Road] and then come back to A - you won't need a **torch". What could possibly go wrong?
So we all set-off over the bridge and into the Victoria park [eerily empty of maids] - some lucky hasher saw flour, most just ran around in colourful patterns between the 'flower' beds. Finally 'Flour' was called and we all dutiful went left and then, a little bit more left before we, er, arrived back at the bridge. A new plan was required Cheesey Flying Fox said he must have left the park at an exit - so a plan was hatched to run around the edge of the park until flour was found. Surprisingly this did work and a rare spot of flour was found on the bridge to the Library - causing Slippery Edge to bellow off the bridge - "FLOUR!!"
On into Causeway Bay it became clear that every corner/crossroad could actually be a Check [no corners marked on this run Hopeless] - with the pack fanning out like a low rent swat team, alley by alley searching. Zip. Tequila FuckWit ran up past 'Fook Hing Court' (true) returning to give the news that nobody wanted to hear - there was a *Checkback!! This therefore made the possible Check at every turn even more random than a late night conversation with Backdraft in the Queen Victoria pub.
Luckily flour was found and we piled up past Wun Sha Playground. There was more criss-crossing with the distance between possible Checks [i.e.: pretty much anywhere] to the next 'blob' of flour [is there a singular for flour - as 'spot' of flour was more accurate] getting longer and longer.
The pack was completely stumped at Tai Hang Road before the unthinkable happened F3M solved a Check - screaming in a way that only Hopeless could make her - we charged that way to make the noise stop. Up and up the stairs to - obviously- another 'possible' Check. After 5 minutes of fairly enthusiastic looking by the pack - that started to wane .... flour was called about 150 metres to the right. Charge on.
It then started to rain - hard.
So let me get this right: the number of people that had seen flour could be counted on one hand [correction: everyone knows Hashers cannot count] - and yet we pressed on higher and higher, further away from the 'free' shirt and Fish n' Chips at the Bobbies Club!? Of course!
Up Perkins Rd road the rain was really coming down - nothing on the river, sorry road - but Come Into My Tunnel carried on swimming upwards (not to be seen again). So that would mean the only way is the Wong Nai Chung Tree walk so briefing falsehood No. 2 exposed: **no torch needed. Puddles were so deep Keg On Legs was nearly covered up to his waist. A little later in the run KOL confided in Princess Cock Tosser - "have you ever noticed a running gait like that on a 60 year old man? The one with the posh voice" [Tom Turk]. Honestly not the sort of thing I look out for - but I have studied Any Dick Will Do on a sweaty Free China Hash, and her gait is very different…..
Back onto Tai Hang and Tom Turk was charging along like he knew what he was doing and lo and behold there it was in a bus-stop [maybe it had just got off a bus] - some flour!
ON down into Blue Pool Rd - it became a standard 'getting into the mind of a Hare' to determine which way down into Happy Valley we would take.
Despite the press-ganged cohare's briefing about the horses, the pack remained clueless until finally finding flour which took the trail along the side of the Happy Valley race track and Wong Nei Chung Road, and in through Jardine's Bazaar (how bizarre?) and back to that lovely tunnel.
Arriving back in the Fallout shelter - so called because Hopeless had 'fallen out' with the Hare - the pack gathering in dribs and drabs. "Did you see flour?" was a common question - "maybe once or twice?" the reply, the consensus being that of the 7 bags taken out - Bubbledick had kept 6 to use as cheap detergent for his new get rich scheme using Kin's washing machine.
Bubbledick eventually showed - but by then Hopeless had already given the Command to move [surely 1.5hrs in the tunnel was lovely] and we dutifully shuffled off to the Police Club for some manly shower action. (Oops sorry wrong night, that's Thursdays on RS2H3).
All in all some great mismanagement the Southside Hash would have been proud of.
PCT (Princess Cock Tosser, RS2H3)
Over 10km for Princess in the pouring rain….
On On to the POC, hot showers, fish and chips or lasagna washed down with jugs of beer or orange juice, as tastes suited.
Down Downs courtesy of Hopeless:
The hare - Bobbledick - 25 years of hashing
Cohare - Barge Pole "let's go now!"
Come Into My Tunnel - should have been his run due to A location
Gin n Vomit - "I couldn't find a torch anywhere but I knew Hopeless would have a spare"
PCT view - "needed a torch and there were Check Backs" - the hare, Bobbledick, for giving false information for the briefing
Taxi to the finish - The Parkys
Nonrunners - Inflato, Yummy Mummy and ADWD
Good planning for the hare not to let Inflato stay with the beer so there was some left but @nal tried to drink them all instead
Virgin - Steve Loman - his father founded Kowloon Hash - new meat sitting next to old meat - Motormouth DD too
Free Willy - Moontrekker disorganization like this run?
Returnees - Franz (more than 1 year), Tom Turk (January)
@nal Invitation - only came as he thought it was a free shirt run
Octopussy - birthday alone as boyfriend wangled a 3 week trip to Taiwan to avoid buying a birthday present
The Virgin Mary - free loading off the birthday girl and having dinner paid for
Invitation to a Tai Tai "run and whine" party - Hopeless to be the only male (reason for invite yet to be clarified)
Getting her Mark's mixed up - Slippery Edge sending sweet email note to..... Husband instead of Hopeless
Lost In Space - new Korean nickname "Wen Wong Way" for his flying skills
Doing Down Downs last week - F3M
LIS - "you Lost In Space?" from a stranger in Stanley
Legally Blonde - joined LH4 and now LSWH3, female Hopeless
Anniversaries - Theo (CIMT stand-in) 25, ADWD 125, Gin n Vomit 350
Keg On Legs - shirt selling - trying to get his money back from Bobbledick
Hash Cash (Shiggy Gaga) - great job tonight!
Toilet Spray - left the tunnel 70 minutes BEFORE the designated time for the food "to give myself enough time to get showered"….. !
Bobbledick - did naff all for his 25th year run but a great evening
Octopussy - giving out of date gifts to TVM (which were a gift to her in the first place)
Toilet Spray - boyfriend forgot his running shoes and had to run in his work shoes. Asked TS to "bring shoes to the hash, I am going out to a posh dinner instead of the bash". So TS brings Chatroom's…… sandals!
Barge Pole - awarded a duck for successfully ordering Bobbledick around on trail in wet conditions.
Hash song sung by Bobbledick (naturally) and three anniversaries (CIMT singing for Theo).
"Guest" GPS tracking of Bob & Barge Pole's run last night, aided by the affable Hopeless.