Hang Hau

New Year, New Start.. Three months since my last run but here I was back on the hash. Injuries aside, I was going to run, albeit super slowly, hurrah! Familiar faces were all around and the usual mixed feelings of trepidation and anticipation were building up in my stomach… would I be able to run? would I be on my own? Is this going to be the most boring write up ever? Fortunately for me, maybe not so for everyone else, Hopeless casually mentioned that there would be many check backs to keep the pack together. I actually thought nothing of it until I was on the run, where as if by magic, I found myself running, on more than one occasion might I add, with the FRBs, ha! The story of the tortoise and the hare springs to mind. It seems Indy was also in the same situation, as at one point she seemed to be blissfully unaware that she was the leader of this pack of hashers until she was passed by Gobi and the rest of the FRBs, who then left her eating their dust!

So, with instructions given, the 25-strong pack set off, three dogs in tow. It felt odd to not try to keep up with the FRBs but being at the back has its perks –you get such a nice uninterrupted run. No more than a 100 yards ahead and there was a break in the pack as everyone tried to find the route, an On On call was heard so I followed everyone else up to a junction and an open check I think? Or at least that is what I thought as there were people and dogs running all over the place, trying to find the trail! Another on on call was heard and the pack continued leftwards, round the corner until the trail was lost once more.

The path we, or more appropriately, they found went up a shiggy trail, then back down through some trees and bushes and eventually in to a bus park. For a moment the trail was lost, no it wasn’t, it had been covered by two, three, four buses! We finally found it only to get to another open check. Aiyah! But not for me, as by the time I got there the pack was heading up the hill hurrah! With so much energy, I managed to run all the way up past most runners haha, only to be passed again as we got onto the flats hmm.

Apparently there were two R/W splits, the first split supposedly took the Rambos up the mountain and back down again, while the wimps followed the contour path. No one actually saw this split, save Indy’s dog, who seemed to be doing the Wimps on his own, as almost everyone continued without thinking up the long hilly Rambo trail! It was, of course, at this point that the game of ‘where’s Indy’s dog?’ ‘Rachel has the dog’, ‘no Rachel hasn’t got the dog’ began, (see DDs for the complete story!!).

After coming off the mountain, I somehow, probably thanks to another check back, found myself right up with all the FRBs.. Higgy, Gobi, ADWD and her biatches, Fai and Crème Brulee.. yeah, go me! And for a moment I forgot my injuries and started to speed up to keep up with them, but that didn’t last long as we were all brought to a complete stop. There had been a hash crash! Who was it? Gobi. She was on the floor! By concentrating so hard on her feet she forgot about her head and didn’t see that HUGE thick branch across the path. Laying on the floor, she seemed a little out of it but that didn’t hold her back and soon she was back up and running, ignoring ADWD’s concerned comments about ‘taking it easy’.. it seems she should have listened, as she fell again, close to the end!

On to the second Rambo split which was more obvious, and as I remembered my own advice earlier that night about ‘taking my time’ I made for the Wimps only to be guiltied into doing the Rambos by ADWD. At the top of the steps the path seemed lost. Three possible routes (all leading to the same point), no markings and a group of about 7 or so hashers going round in circles and ending up going back down the same way we had just come up. It seemed that searching for the Rambo route was not on the cards for the FRBs that night, so they decided to give in and follow the Wimps back to civilisation.. the sound of Thai food and home was a‘ callin’.

All in all, a great run to start the New Year, thanks Hopeless!

And now for the DDs by Indy,

Hopeless – Hare, great run

Hopeless – haring 90 runs, only 10 more to go, so he will be happy to hare for the next 10 weeks!

Hopeless - Sai Kung and Clearwater bay runners seemed the only ones who turned up for the run.

SST and Yours Truly – for swapping their run with Hopeless

Non Runners – Yummy Mummy and Inflato

Returnees - The Bastard, after 2 yrs! Sweaty Snail Gobbler – since last year, well, since ADWD’s run last year. (SSG, ADWD and Hopeless – for wearing the infamous Union Jack dress that Hopeless bought for her, and for it being the only thing SSG remembered from that run. Roisin from ladies hash. Gwyneve/Geneveve(?)’s last hash was with the dogs and in Indy's time so could be sometime in the last 8 yrs! Creme brulee - two months ago on the German run

Queen of the hills Ivana Nuc*ck doing the Lantau Peak 5 different ways and then being too tired to run so walked the whole way. Was she doing the recce for the LSW run?

Birthdays tomorrow/next week or whenever? ADWD – September? No, not hers, it’s Thorsten’s Tomorrow. 28 yrs old .. Hmm try 41!!

Creme brûlée only shags people under the age of thirty but she doesn't shag Germans. Too bad thorsten.

SST can't count.. tried to subtract 28 from Indy’s age but got it all wrong, therefore thinking that Indy was much older than she is..

ADWD - Byron was living in squalor at ADWD's place.. Not like the 5* luxury it was used to. Moral of the story - Don't give your dog to ADWD.

Byron invited out more over Christmas than Indy.. Geneveve and The Bastard both had him.

Indy and The Story: Byron gets lost while everyone is making their way up the mountain - Looking for his new biatches apparently. So Indy goes looking for him. AFWD, (the ex), tries to help but rather than follow Indy he decides to keep going forward. FFFM said ADWD has the dog but she got the wrong message, Indy and Herr Rainer believed her also and carry on up the hill. According to AFWD said the cry was ADWD hasn't got the dog. It’s all Chinese whispers, so Indy has to turn back. Toilet spray and Ivana have seen him right back at the bottom. All three head further back down the mountain hoping to catch Lost in Space as he would have seen the dog. Ivana finds the dog.. Thank God. End of story. But it's all ADWD's fault for making the dog popular among her dogs.

Michelle No Name - Anniversary - 25 runs

The Story revisited.. this time Ivana’s version who said she lured the dog using her attempt at Indy’s laugh – and it worked. Thank God again!

The Bastard thought the call had changed from On On to Byr-On

Byron - New hash dog name to Any dog will do or any bitch will do... The first name wins, Any Dog Will Do is christened by ADWD with Beer.

ADWD, Michelle, FFFM, and yours truly - ADWD talking about the English attire- basically you don't wear any clothes in the UK in winter. The less you wear the less you spend on drink..

SST and Yummy Mummy totally amazed by the conversation

Toilet spray - getting advice from ADWD about office parties and what she needs to wear during said parties especially as in the past she always covered up.

Bobbledick - now living in dizzy lights of mid-levels

ADWD and Bobble dick - because he claimed to come round her house to learn about using his phone and instead steals the Internet from her and stands outside her house.

FFFM for losing her wallet which is worth $2000 dollars. Now had something white on it resembling sperm according to Tight Lips… Or are we back to Chinese whispers again?

Crazy Herr Rainer - for walking up Tai Mo Shan at 4am to catch the sunrise with two Japanese people who also had the same crazy idea.

From the floor

The Bastard and yours truly pushing Sweaty Snail out of the way down the shiggy trail.

Sweaty snail - Indy for the incident with the dog in the night time; The Hare

Lost in Space - SST - someone renamed her short and stinky before the run, I think it was Godzilla BF

FFFM - Inflato, Yummy and Chopper for peeing near Yummy Mummy and for pooing right outside the bus stop welcoming those passangers getting off the bus; Chopper pees like a girl..

Wanchai Wanker - so bored with the DDs that he fell asleep..

Higgy lookalikey Come in my Tunnel - ran while his wife was in labour!!

Inflato for the only dog who didn't run tonight!

SST, Crème Brulee, Fai, Richard and yours truly - for forgetting their torches

Hopeless for giving a panda vibrator torch to SST

Indy and ADWD for letting go after getting married: ADWD was wearing $30 dollar trousers from North Point - a far cry from going out in the UK wearing next to nothing

SST – this is what you aspire to, but she's already there with her own 30 dollar trousers because she has given up!

Yummy mummy for putting everyone to shame! As she is dressed sexily!

The song was sung twice.

We all went home!