LSW 1877


Boxing Day

Twas the day after Christmas, when all thro' the city
Not a creature was stirring, not even a northern new territories hasher;
The stockings were flung on the floor with out care,
In hopes that St. Asprin soon would be there;
The hashers were nestled all drunk in their beds,
While visions of hashing danc'd in their heads,

And so it came to pass, that the Little Sai Wan, and the Northern New Territories hash kennels congregated on boxing day at Catch of the Day's, San Tong Po cottage.

Twas afternoon in Fanling district.... Ah Fanling... famous for its rolling hills, shady reservoirs, cross border traders and container trucks.

People came from far and wide, following Ivana Nukok's "precise automatic directions for the people", which to her chagrin, some western service driven imperialists interpreted as "set course for the New Territories, then call her for help". Some took the bus, some drove. Some, such as Inflat-a-date drove, taxied, overshot, and were assisted back to the stand by ground crew.

All too soon the pack was ordered off along Lau Shui Hueng Rd., no one seemed quite ready, Monkey Shit and Crash Test Dummy ventured boldly forth, issuing left at the first obvious check..... "And a Hey, and away we go, through the grass, across the snow" And what a lovely winding path it was, leading up to the W/R split. Looking back I was struck, not by the branch in front of me, that struck me later. No what hit me then, was an image of the "picaresque adventures of Everett Ulysses McGill and his companions Delmar and Pete", as I watched the long string of bobbing hashers skipping and stumbling up hill, down dale along the ridge. For once not the usual racing and gnashing maul, instead they were transformed by the Christmas spirit into a contented, rambling and happy go lucky band of brothers and sisters who had no idea where art they now. Peace on earth and goodwill to all hashers.

A scandalously large number of runners opted for the wimps. Oh how the meek have not inherited anything, for let it be remembered that the property developers and the Kuk inherited the earth, and the meek only succeeded in falling further into debt. Consoling themselves with that extra helping of Christmas pudding. Meanwhile on the Rambo's, the FRB's were rocking it round the Christmas tree. No actually the FRB's sucked too! My Christmas day belly bobbled in front of me, as I waddled my way round the first part of the Rambo's loop of the Hok Tau Country Trail. Note this was nothing more than the reverse of Ivana Nukok's run last year in this area. Not content to believe that it was so straightforward, the FRB's made every effort to deviate from the path. First there was a local villager concealing the check at a fork in the path, Pa-Rum-Pa-Pum Pum. Then Crash Test Dummy and Monkey Shit set off in the wrong direction, Pa-Rum-Pa-Pum Pum. At the next check Catch of the Day correctly guessed the way, Pa-Rum-Pa-Pum Pum back up the main road as it turned out, Rum-Pa-Pum Puum However a cheeky check-back just before the hill again brought all the FRB's harmoniously back together for the closing verse, and to rejoin the Wimps. As it turned out only a Reindeers spit away from the W/R split.

After rejoining the Wimps there was a short climb to a trig post adorned with the Holly and the Ivy and some flagging latecomers, then a lovely steep sleigh ride down to Lau Shui Hueng road and on home. Let it told of the Christmas proverb of the good Samaritan, On the steepest part of the downhill I was dashing through the trail on a one horse open check, when I came across none other than Santa's stunt double himself! Golden Balls, being the absolute gentleman that he is, he allowed me to pass, and promptly fell off the ridge into the bushes, golden sleigh bells ringing and all.

Arriving back at Catch of the Day 's country pile, a surprisingly large number of Santa's helpers "non runners" were feverishly engaged in setting up for the most excellent bash. A genuine Thai chef was cooking genuine Pad Thai from genuine fresh and spicy ingredients. Not one but two brews of mulled wine were simmering away in tureens, loaded as they were with cloves and spices and nutmeg and Vodka and Tequila and Rum. Oh did I mention my hangover today? Rum-Pa-Pum Pum Lamb chops sizzled, Oysters bubbled and Chicken wings slowely ignited on the BBQ. Catch of the Day cooked Christmas vegetables, and food too bountiful to mention .... Bobbledick thought all his christmases had come at once. A good time was had by all.

As the last rays of light ebbed below the smog lit Shenzhen horizon, a happy band of mellow hashers chatted and partied well into the night.....

There was a joint NNT / LSW circle at some point in the evening, which without Indy was mercifully short. Salesman, NNT GM designate, and others read various charges to the circle. In the spirit of Christmas and goodwill to all, even Motormouth was allowed to give a down down, and even more surprising it was short and reasonably coherent!

Some of the DDs:
- The hare Ivana Nukok
- Returnees: Cyclops and Kimi
- Haj Fu**ing
- Latecomers: Motormouth, Tequila Fu**wit, Will Not Come, Bobbledick, Spread Easy
- Crash Test Dummy - for not calling (ed's note...there was no reason to at that point)
- Eunuch a.k.a. Septic - fell on his guitar while his guitar gently weeped, and his ribs gently seeped, you gotta laugh!
- TV Tits 2 DD's (I can't remember, why)
- TV Tits and Yummy Mummy exhibitionism in the frosted glass door, causing the two chefs to leave early
- Tequila Fu**wit and Will Not Come for not trusting the hare and asking 5 times "Is there enough flour?" and "Do we need a torch?" before setting off
- Monkey Sh*t for doing his first running race in prison at the age of 6
- Yummy Mummy - call it - Visitor
- Motormouth arrives late and first thing she says :"Where is Bobbledick?"
- Motormouth for being able to keep a secret. She knew about LSW+NNT joint run but did not tell anyone because she promise to keep it secret. Who would have thought. Very impressive.
- Crash Test Dummy and Stunt Double for having similar themed names
- Bobbledick - brought his own healthy food
- All involved in organization who made this hash happen and of course Catch of the Day for hosting.

The LSW song was sung by Ivana Nukok, accompanied by Salesman. As per tradition the bloody thing was enthusiastically sung again by all LSW hashers, to the delight of all assembled NNT runners and cries of encore.... no its too much now.. the end

LSW 1877 Fan Ling