Hare - No Name Nic

Apparently LSW has not done a hash at Mui Wo since the 1990s. We should thank Macau Drunk for that statistic and missed opportunity for yet another DD for him!

Most hashers took the 6.30 pm slow ferry after work. The non-workers, bosses or just plain stupid hashers took the 6pm fast ferry.

The virgin Hare for LSW, No-Name-Nic, or perhaps Nic-errr-less, had run out of chalk, forgot the beer and had just bought the water for the hasher and was drinking in the bar when the first hasher turned up! Clearly needs a little more practice haring, so agreed Indy Anus waving her hare line list about. [Ed: really don't know what she's worried about. She has hares on that list for 2015.]

Thankfully there was water at the start but no beer. Backdraft had only just recovered from the weekend so was not tempted to drink his mandatory pre-run can.

At a later time than normal of 7.30 pm, the pack set off led by Lemon Drop, yelping and dragging Thingy in my Bottom behind him. Gobi Lo injured from battling with a Dragon (back) in Wales checking out the rear(s).

Macau Drunk having done the KOTHs run a number of times, and even walked up the same path to the start got completely lost in the wrong direction. However others managed to solve the checks through the village, up the path crushing snails along the way, to the top of the hill or bottom of Sunset Peak. At this point, Hopeless headed on down the hill along the road to Mui Wo, marking on his way for the wimpy wimps and also to sort out poor Nic-errrr-less. Apparently sending him to PnS twice for more beer.

The rest of the pack crossed the road from Stage 2 of Moontrecker / Start of KOTHs to do the route backwards up to a junction where they then took a sharp left down, through a grave yard where Tight Lips decided to pee and down to the beach, across a stream and then up and down all the way to the On Home before the 2k stretch home. At this point, Lost at Sea and Catch of the Day turned up, not sure if they went wrong or we short-cutted because normally they're way ahead. Lovely trail, clear skies and cooler than normal temperatures, well done Virgin Hare. When's your next run?

Thanks to the just appointed co-Hare, enough beer and softies was available for all in preparation for their ferry ride home or the Chinese dinner. There was so much food that even Wanchai Wanker and Backdraft were full.

Down Downs were awarded by F3M, with heckles from the floor, mostly from Mr Mark Anthony Hope - yes he's in trouble.

Macau Drunk for buying dodgy goods along the bridge to the ferry pier. Earphones for $20 that were being sold farther down the bridge for $10.

Nic - posted a happiness list on Facebook but forgot to list beer, DD, and hashing, another DD.

Indy Anus and Catch of the Day lookalikes, Janine and Michelle for cancelling her hen party for the third time because of a public holiday, school holidays and forgetting its Max' birthday. Keep postponing it shouts Lost at Sea in the back ground.

All the ball buster runners from Saturday on in. It was established that they were not that hard core after all because they had a map to follow. Thingy in my bottom, Macau Drunk, Indy Anus and Lost at Sea.

BunZilla, attempting to buy a torch and confusing the shop assistant with a request for a "flash light". Shop assistant passed him a lighter for a stove instead. Should have asked for Four Candles or is that Fork Handles (see Two Ronnies, c. 1970s)?

And talking of torches all those who forgot their torches, Backdraft, F3M or putting the batteries in backwards, Janine. Naming perhaps?

Lost in Space still got lost even though he was being directed by Gobi Lo.

Wanchai Wanker lost his voice after the weekend of hashing and yelling but thankfully we had BunZilla to replace him, especially on the ferry loudly talking about his torch.

And talking of the ferry, most people took the 6.30 pm ferry but others stupidly took the 6.00 pm, well according to Castrato, who took the ferry with all the stupid people - and that would be Backdraft.

Some people took the 7.00 pm ferry [insert name as can't remember] and some people thought Wanchai Wanker took the 7.00 pm ferry. A Hopeless mistake, as Wanchai Wanker was sat in front of him….granted with a sore throat and so a lot quieter than normal but still as big.

And talking of mistakes… Free Willy thinks that the Sunday Hash is the Southside Hash, blasphemy.

Moving on to pick on the Southsiders, they have added to their pink hash stash and so as well as the dreadful hash shirts, hash watches, hash hats and hash bags…wait for it, drum roll…. they have RSSH3 pink bars of Hash Dove soap as presented by Backdraft . [Ed: You wouldn't want to drop that bar of soap in the showers with those Southsiders.]

Macau Drunk is a wannabe Southsider sporting a lovely pair of pink shorts but too shy to show. Believe me I saw them as we were changing together.

We didn't however shower together as Macau Drunk showered in the men's toilet using a hosepipe attached to the back of the cistern, who knows where the water came from and yes he smelt. "Especially his feet" cried Hopeless. [Ed: How does he know?]

Indy Anus and Lost at Sea are not buying the usual wedding rings for their wedding, oh no. They are both sporting a number of rubber bracelets on their wrists and so will be buying yet another one for the happy day, IF it ever comes.

Michelle was not happy with the Hare as there was no chocolate and strawberry ice cream after the run, similar to the Ladies' Hash. Can this be arranged please.

Thingy in my bottom was also not happy as he had stupidly sat to the left of Backdraft and so faced empty dishes of food. BD having cleaned the plates beforehand.

F3M aka Cilla Black has set the Hare up, Nic-errrr-less on a blind date with a friend. Lets hope he'll be wearing his knickers then.

Most blind dates are arranged in an easy location where you can escape if it gets complicated. Or have friends on hand to call and bail them out, eg "Your Great Great Grandma has just died". Not our feckless, fearless Nic-errrr-less. Oh no. Instead of arranging a date in Soho, he's arranged a date in Shek-o.

And then on to an even more stupid idea… everyone knows of the beautiful little town in Italy called Parma where they make the famous Parma Ham and Parmasan Cheese, right? No. Apparently, Free Willy thinks that Parma Ham is made by feeding the pigs Parmasan Cheese!

DDs were given from the floor and because I'd had enough to drink I wasn't taking notes, but remember Indy saying something, quite short for a change, and Lost in Space saying something else about curtains! [Ed: Enough said on that topic.]

There was a mad dash then to catch the fast ferry home and lo-and-behold, the song was completely forgotten about ….a first in the history of LSW. Sorry, Big Bitch if you're reading this as the next week's run was not announced either. Standards have clearly dropped since the last time LSW went out to Mui Wo (c. 1990), so we will probably not be heading there soon or for another 20 years!

F3M.