Any Dick Will Do (ADWD) retirement run
Pack of about 30 runners assembled at Hang Hau MTR station. Laminated lover greeted the group in his shirt and slacks… looking out of place among us schleppy runners. Buttfan briefly looked like his counterpart, until she lifted her work dress over her head to reveal a schleppy outfit like the rest of us. The co-hare collected the bags and departed promptly at 7:05 leaving the latecomers to run with their bags.
Indy administered a lackluster briefing and the pack set off. Lots of early zigging and zagging kept us together as we fumbled out way out of Hang Hau to the hills. Once into the hills, it was up, Up, UP and over… the pack regrouped at the next village as we struggled to find the trail. ADWD conveniently decided that every corner is a check… AKA, why put chalk AT the corners, when you can put it AFTER the corners. This strategy really slowed down Gobi Lo Ho and Thingy in my Bottom allowing Comes Up the Rear to stay with them most of the run!
Once the village mystery was solved we made a right turn and headed all the way down to the water… satisfying our shiggy requirement for the evening. Left along the water and back through another village to the main road. A short run down Hiram's Highway to the BIG roundabout and then a quick left up to Casa-De-ADWD… apparently the Gobi, Nia, Comes up the Rear, Higgy group missed this turn off because yours truly (Chatroom) who had fallen behind in the final village, tuned up in advance of the front running bastards.
Almost everyone made it in eventually… though Wanchai Wanker got stranded at the roundabout and had to be rescued by Laminated Lover… and Toilet Spray took a taxi in from the same location (all 500 meters of taxi ride)… and last, but not least, Easy Over also came in my taxi.
Dinner was a lovely Sheppard's pie from ADWD (or her helper?) and a bevvy of curries from JoJos.
DownDowns by Indy:
HashCash (Thingy in my bottom) doing his dominatrix imitation and lifting his apron to the girls
Hopeless - grumpy about the run (and life in general) and complaining about lack of markings
Hopeless - bragging about how much better HIS run was 2 weeks ago
Wanchai Wanker and ADWD - ADWD is retiring so she doesn't have to teach WW's son!
ADWD - 5.5 days to retirement and COUNTING
Indy / WW - their kids ALSO counting days to end of school year
ADWD - got a birthday serenade from a student at school (awwwww)
Laminated Lover - unable to receive instructions from ADWD - so Indy had to be drafted to do briefing
CPH - has to look after Easy Over (got married 10 days ago! :D) congrats
Hopeless - Just 2 days left on the CX payroll (and grumpy)
Inflatadate - also a CX employee, but he's happy and friendly
Tightlips - also grumpy as she first accidently took MTR to LOHAS Park… then went out wrong exit at Hang Hau and couldn't find the pack… had to run with her bag
Latecomers - Toilet Spray and Backdraft
Chatroom & TS - doing their run report duty
Octopussy - for doing such a good run report last week (must be because she is Aussie)
TS for being almost Aussie (lived there for 7 years)
Wandering aimlessly in the shiggy:
Tightlips - running through the scary rubbish dump (and complaining about it)
ADWD - routing hash through notorious triad village
CPH - getting pissed in the Philippines with EO's family every night during their honeymoon
Godzilla Buttf*ck - returnee - only 7 weeks till the second rugrat arrives
Nia - quietly playing with her blackberry all night
Sticky Sex Toy - had to navigate from Stanley (scary) with co-pilot Nia
Comes up the Rear - arrived on time AGAIN! Is this actually becoming a pattern?
Indy - finally got her permanent residency in HK - was stalking comes up the rear in Wanchai while doing so
ADWD - great home - dogs, umbrellas, freezer, outdoor shower and 55" TV :D
Inflatadate - got injection in his back for injury (he claims) - we all know he needs more flexibility for shagging!
WW - his son wants to speak English like ADWD!! WW is scared
All northern Brits - for having scary accents
Backdraft - loosened up his Facebook security settings so the cougars can see his pics
Hopeless - in the UK, trying to be thoughtful, bought 3FM an Olympic souvenir dress - unfortunately, dress was size 8
ADWD - only Brit who can fit in the size 8 dress - which she then modelled for the pack with her thigh high boots!
All Brits on in for the upcoming summer Olympics
Hopeless for dreaming that 3FM could fit in size 8 - in defence he claims "But she's got bigger tits that ADWD!!"
Hopeless - now shopping for slutty thigh high boots for 3FM to complete the outfit like ADWD
Doctor Evil's opinion of the boots - "looks like something you rent by the hour"
Doctor Evil - working hard as photographer for sexy news reader in lingerie at fancy house on the peak!
Hopeless - also had a recent photo shoot… and claims he was a male model 30 years ago!
Higgy - looking sexy in his hash cash apron
SST - lusting after Higgy!
Hopeless - mood much improved after ADWD paraded around in the slutty dress
The hash song