RUN REPORT - Lost At Sea's Perspective....
Wednesday night is curry night at the RHKYC. It's a good spread and well worth a bash. The Fringe was also having a Jazz event. There was even an invite from a mate called Jim to hose down a few San Migs in Steamers.
Look, I didn't get to Bob Le Dick's last run but by all accounts, Tseung Kwan O was due to be his redemption. So there you go.. I sniffed the arrows from exit A1 and followed the hallowed trail to the launch site. Pole Dancer was busy hooking up with hash control,(Hopeless), who was ticking departure boxes for those arriving to brave the vagaries of a trail meant for headless chickens and those who run by Braille. Pre-launch briefings centred on the absolutes of multiple check backs, erroneous markings and the quality of toilet paper on the shiggy. Crews arrived and numbers were impressive; quality mixed with stealth, the former stretching finely tuned ligaments(Retarded Buttf**k), the latter, just trying to find them....
Bob had been negotiating with the local DPD and a full report from the Lycra one was made to Toilet spray..." do you think $25 is a little high with all you can eat MSG...?"... but the approach of the non - whispering Indy drowned his requests of frugality amid the protests from Hopeless that Blue Girl beer is a hash banned brew!
Briefing over, On On was called and Macau Drunk led the pack into a blistering start towards the first of 83 check backs. Confusion was king as the heedless ones rallied to the call of adrenalin. Ladders like containership gangways were needlessly climbed and descended.. cull de sacs(I wonder what that is in French?), with electrified fences were broached then cursed as one Bob le Dick sat sniggering over a warm Carlsburg. Wanchai Wanker took an early lead, tail light from his head torch, blinking like a misplaced reef, then snagged his starboard Asic on the second check back. Panic set in and a foot removal was suggested by Ninja Winja as gridlock ensued and the pack began to press. It was Hillsborough all over again.
Engineers are a curious breed, (weird coming from an ex miner, I know) but the collective approach on two matters, caused considerable discussion, both on trail and off it. Storm drains: 128 of the 83 check backs were ascending storm drains. These weren't your normal nullah type, flat bottom, gulley sided jobs. They were tank busting, concrete vortices, (designed by The Bastard no less!!!) inducing a slalom-like run as the hapless pack snaked towards the inevitable T, only to descend towards the bush veld of reclaimed grassland. Yes, the second matter...one of defining a reclamation. No, it's not landfill. Landfill is the combo of domestic and industrial waste, placed in a big hole and then covered by big shovels of earth. It hides a seeping mass of brooding geology that eases itself in a gently moving mix of sh*t, plastic, medical waste and trapped seagulls. Reclaim...is entirely that..reclaimed land...... Caught in a swirl of debate at the bash, Castrato, Bob le dick and Macau Drunk hit engineering's cutting edge, sucking Indy into a potential English essay for her Canto class kids and a topic head for popping schools on build sites made from methane!
Anyway I digressed!
Back to the run...French blue rugby socks, Lycra leggings and the bob of a struggling head torch, marked Pole Dancer as girl on and the brace of multiple tank traps, and check backs was over.
Hopeless had seen his light and with Ninja W, was away towards the neon yellows of Tseung Kwan O and Reclamation City. It was loop time for the rambos, flat running at speed and 6 minute miles. I had no idea i was circumnavigating a hospital...all i knew was the scattering of rental push bikes and the smell of clinical waste. 'Suck it in' we said and Wanchai Wanker did exactly that, collapsing a lung and beginning a slow lope home..on in, on home, around the crazy arrows of Bob le Dick's strange and curious brain, towards the landmark of the east Asia stadium and a hope that included nothing less than Tsing Tao or the coldest of grapefruit fizzies!
The DPD beckoned....obligatory, small and innocent, like a nascent hasher on a first Free China. Seemingly, 334 stinking hashers descended on two Mah Jong tables...or was it twenty? Either way, the housing estate sighed and moved another inch towards the landfill. Locals hit the 7/11 and the chef resigned.
Pack order took hold and mysteriously, tables appeared and within the first downing of the best of brews, a Viking feste appeared. Table south side, took a pasting with Wanchai Wanker and the mob at the bulkhead, (Gary Glitter, Pole D, Claudia and moi, Lost At Sea, Hopeless), eating placid bowls of rice without protein as the north side, bathed in the lustre of a south Korean dog festival, dining on the finest first offerings, garnished with lashings of noodles and the tastiest of MSG...sweet Jesus!
So, Bob le Dick..redemption run, reclamation run, landfill run....yes, a good run and a sterling effort from the son of Lycra!!
It was left to Dr Evil and Gobi Lo, doyens of the Wilson trail to chink their glasses and reflect on their training schedule of moon trecks and zillion mile weeks as the iconic Mr Bob hit the 101 minibus, Hang Hau to Po lo Che express, with a smile on his face and a 65$ hole in a pocket made from check backs!
DOWN DOWN'S by Indy.
The Hare - Bob Le Dick.....Good run! Very educational run taking in the finest and most controversial landfill sites in Tseung Kwan O!
The Hare - Amazingly short and well- timed for a Bob Le Dick run! ...Who could forget the run where last hasher/s came in at 3 hrs and 48 mins!
Dr Evil - on that Bob Le Dick run came in DFL to bring in the red-faced Nurse F***ker, who could not talk for hours! ...or change colour!
The Hare/Hopeless - fierce competition to hare this run! Hopeless had wanted it to set the run on Park Island so could go down as the 3 Tropical Island runs in a row!...but it went to Bob Le Dick instead who stepped up to the plate!...Hopeless having said 'If you get really stuck...!'
Hopeless/Motormouth - He had checked ...last time LSW run set on Park Island was by MM....her infamous '23 min closed gate' run!
Lost In Space - was meant to set the run but he got Lost in Space! Lost at Sea to drink for him....
Gobi Lo - had also wanted another island run so she could take Lemondrop!
Hopeless - ended up being co-hare, of sorts anyway, as he anticipated the call from Bob Le....
Castrato - thanks for writing up last week's run report.....NOTE - the next week's hare is meant to do so but if in absentia or undetermined it gets a bit tricky! Thanks to others who step in!
Lost At Sea - Shanghaied into doing the Run Report for this week's Bob Le dick's run ...as written above!! 'Surprisingly'...like Castrato... was ok about doing so!
Come In My Tunnel - Also Shanghaied.... into being Beer Amah.. but his comment was 'Isn't this a female's job?'
Paul Buttf**k - finally his real hash name disclosed! Retarded Buttf**k! No wonder he has been hiding it...or maybe being retarded he forgot it!
Retarded Butt - Moi (Indy) on commenting about the landfill and wondering if the landfill area we were running on was 'to be' or the area that 'has been', stated...' of course it is old landfill as if new you would not be running on it!' (Ed. So many self-professed experts on landfill!! Jeez!)
Sticky Sex Toy - never made it to the landfill.....was late then got lost at the underpass area....!!
Discover Her Bay - also late but got to the landfill.
Ninja Whinja - appeared at this run to reclaim his lost head torch that he lost on the last Bob Le Dick run...
Ninja Whinja - was at Freewheel's run but did dummy spat so badly that never stayed for a beer to reclaim his torch...(and not seen till now sporting his new hair look....the no-hair look!!)
Bob Le Dick - taking us through all THOSE concrete block storm drains.....turns out that our one and only, 'The Bastard', was responsible for designing them! (Guess who knew that info? ) Why has The Bastard never set a run around them.....?...or maybe he has but again it was BMT....Before My Time!
Macau Drunk/Castrato/Bob le Dick - At Bash, spending much time debating the finer points of landfill and land reclamation and air vents through the ground from the buried crap...not to forget the Methane gas!! I was fascinated!
Pole Dancer - towards run end with choice of directions and regardless of flour search, calls to me 'Indy, Follow that hasher!' Follow Gary Glitter? I thought to myself! But follow we did and on NO flour.....but we did eventually turn back...
Gary Glitter - kept on running even though on no flour......and eventually somehow got home.....
Returnees - Ninja Whinja, Virgin Mary
Claudia - determined to get to run tonight, so left the office early and got to the run on time....only so she could go shopping and have a coffee....??
Wilson Trail - Well done to the mixed combo of Gobi Lo Ho/Dr Evil (supported by Higgie) ...first mixed team and Ivana Nuc*ck (in absentia) ...member of first female team..
Moontrekkers - Gobi Lo
Indy/Macau Drunk - Hopeless contacted months ago (in usual a*** style!) to put his name down for 29th Jan run 2012 as Joint run with Friday hash...(to celebrate the inaugural Run of Friday hash....). Not working months (or years!!) in advance Hopeless's joint run did not go on LSW Calendar by either MC or Indy!
Gobi Lo - Has name put down on Hareline for 29 Jan run...The Leap Year run, but unfortunately as MC says'Too few Auspicious Days..for keen Hares!' Watch the space to see what? who? where? and why? (ED: Does anyone want to fight me for the 'auspicious' Aussie Day run ???....just hoping,,..)
Hopeless - new day in new office the next day......? Cathay City here he comes!...shall enjoy tea and biccies with Lost At Sea and Inflatadate !!
Jumpers are out of mothballs! - 2 Brits,,,Pole Dancer and Higgie ?
Discover Her Bay - made comment that Hopeless is so 'easy to please'? Que? are there 2 Hopeless's?
Bob Le Dick - great food for $65....