So I kind of lost my first run of the notes... Here's a second write-up, should work fine, although it's a little tame and rushed.
"It is an infantile superstition of the human spirit that virginity would be thought a virtue and not the barrier that separates ignorance from knowledge."
"Silence is a source of strength."
"Why not just start the run in Wanchai Park?" I asked, following the first of three possible instructions to arrive at the relatively secluded run site.
"Well, we live here," said Mei Not Come.
Splendid. After spending about 15 minutes after meeting up with Nugget, we finally found our way to Stone Nullah Lane, or, as one of the street signs North of the Blue House suggested, "Stoned Nullah Lane". Glad to see at least someone on the hash wanted to celebrate 4/20.
Still, the pack, size "I Don't Know, I Lost the List, but maybe 25ish?" gathered to receive their markings instructions, in which apparently open checks had falsies, and CheckBacks were actually Ts. This caused worry for some that on top of the hares' virginity (one assumes it mutual), we had ourselves a clusterf*ck in the making.
And off the pack set, South towards Wan Chai Park and on to Queen's Road East. Some initial confusion led the back to believe the first check was the second check, caused primarily by a shortcutting Catch of the Day, who headed due East at the starting gun. Fortunately, after about 10 minutes the pack corrected itself and headed up a run which strangely reminded Inflatodate and Kuntshy of the time that Cheesy Flying Fox decided to dress in drag publicly.
After reaching the end of Mt. Nicholson Road and happening upon a check, the pack headed straight up the staircase, as a local guard cautioned those checking elsewhere "SNAKES! No trail, SNAKES!" The trail continued up to the next check, where it diverged from the Herr Wan Chai Pacific run to head straight up in the shiggy towards Middle Gap Road, only to reach a T, followed by an arrow. Assuming that one of the lesser hashes that had run in the area during the previous week laid it, we continued on to the best check of the night.
And by best check, I mean the one that really pissed Hopeless off.
Ninja Winja headed directly down the Hong Kong trail assuming his last run was to be repeated, while someone yelled On On to Nicholson, followed quickly by a "T! Or Checkback! Not quite sure!" Bobbledick, unconvinced, ran up the road anyway, which was then followed by a "T!" Middle Gap Road was fervently checked in either direction before the soft sweet Melody of Hopeless came from Mt. Cameron's direction: "Flour!"
And that's why this was sub-titled "The Hamburger Hill Run". Now, admittedly, the hares had their first time out this time, and if they run Wimps, they tend to frontrun, but I have to imagine they celebrated the aforementioned holiday a little early before deciding to take the Wimps up that lovely shiggy path. Presumably, this was also the case when they set a Rambos trail that was no more than 1km longer than the Wimps and called it a 4km split at the start, as Inflatodate, Kuntshy, and Crash Test Dummy figured out after using gravity to pass Hopeless's controlled descent, favoring a slightly bloodier bouncing routine.
Shortly near the bottom, the supposed FRBs passed the first-time-timely Toilet Spray and Lost In Space, who were led up on the Wimps by Any Fanny'll Do coming down Wan Chai Gap. A mad sprint to the finish ensued, only to discover that Dr. Evil sitting comfortably at the end, having run silent and run deep the whole time. When questioned about this, he simply cackled the sort of cackle that the Danes are wont to do.
With the front runners in beneath 1:20, the pack gradually accumulated, along with chronic non-runners The Virgin Mary, Sh*tler, and Motormouth, guest non-runner Amah Moron, and returnee non-runner Priscilla over the next half hour. A trip to the nearby showers gave some hashers a chance to nostalgically appreciate the start location: Catch of the Day fondly remembered watching Kung Fu practioners from her old balcony, and another unnamed Hasher fondly remembered telling a cab with a girl to wait while he stumbled out into the park, vomited, and passed out, only to be woken up by a street cleaner sweeping around him the following morning.
I honestly can't remember if it was Lost in Space or Any Fanny'll Do who told me that story, and libel's only funny when it's intentional.
Good times were had by all.
Overall, a surprisingly great run from virgin hares with some killer views and killer shiggy. The bash was held at a local Dai Pai Dong in Wan Chai, where Hopeless led the circle.
(Special note to Ruggero and Indy: I unfortunately lost the copy of the much better notes that I threatened.) (Special note to Mei Not Come: This was not written by Ruggero)
The Down Downs, as led by Hopeless
The Hares - For a great virgin run
The Guest RA, Lost in Space - For great weather
Nugget and Dr. Evil - For not calling
Dr. Evil - For messing up the check on Bowen
Inflato - "Stupid Danish Chalk!", whatever that means
Kuntshy and Inflato - For mismarking a Rambo check?
Lost In Space: "I did a hybrid run today"
The Hares - Mt. Cameron for the Wimps too
Indyanus - Last In
Non-runners - Sh*tler, the Virgin Mary, Motormouth, Priscilla, Yummy Mummy
Motormouth - For refusing to pay for the run, beer, or food, and the coming to the bash
LOST PROPERTY: Mei Not Come's jacket, Catch of the Day's pink lingerie-filled washbag
Thermal Dick - Arriving late, running the run backwards, and forgetting a torch
The Virgin Mary - Wearing the queen's velour curtains on the hash.
Bobbledick - For "no spacial awareness", or "sticking arse in Hopeless's face"
The Hares - For providing the street sweepers' showers.
Lost in Space - Tokyo H3, followed by LSWH3 in the same week (Note: the scribe can't honestly believe Hopeless got someone for running multiple hashes in one week... seriously?)
Kuntshy - For not setting this week's run
Catch of the Day - Not enough shiggy on last WH3, too much today
Winniebago - For causing Crash Test Dummy to worry about her on trail
Annieversaries - Buttfan at 250, HP Salsa at 50
Indyanus - Poor coaching of the new hares, and abandoning the 1800th run
All of the DB residents - For showing up when no Lamma residents could
Guest DDs :
F3M: Sex in the City "black bra, white shirt": Catch of the Day, Octopussy, Priscilla (his chest hair was black enough)
F3M: The Hares, for "C++" (ED: I have no idea what this means)
Kuntshy: Crash Test Dummy, for calling rope "Japanese Porn Rope"
Randy (?), HP Salsa lookalike: not calling for the wife? (Ed: very chickenscratch)
The Hares, one more time
The song was sung by the Hares, the DB residents and the Anniversaries