Hare : Motormouth.
The Parable Of The Hash
On the first day Abbot Gispert created the Hash House Harriers.
On the second day he created "The Trail", to be marked in paper, which he converted to 5,000 chalk sticks and 5,000 flour bags later in the New Testament Of Hashing.
On the third day he realised "Checks" were needed in order for the "hounds" to try to find the true way, as members "Abbess Motormouth" and "Brother Bobbledick", one of the few surviving members of The Trail, were to sermon Abbot Gispert.
On the fourth day Abbot Gispert decreed "rewards" would be plentiful at the end of The Trail, in the form of ginger beer, beer, and cigarettes. In the New Testament Of Hashing such rewards be converted to "The Holy Grapefruit drink", and the revered "Carlsberg" and "Tsing Tao". Food also was to be served to "The Pack" in plentiful and edible forms, and then The Pack was good.
On the fifth day the Abbot mandated "The Trash" or Newsletter. The Trash was to be written by the next hare. The Trash was written and not blank. The Trash was not WRITTEN IN CAPITALS so as to give the impression it is an ANGRY TRASH. The Trash was a mark of honour and respect for The Hare(s) of The Trail, and was not to be ignored.
On the sixth day, wise old Abbot Gispert mandated HUMOUR to The Hash. Humour was not to be ill-used, taken in vain, abused, lashed on people, and was to provide entertainment to supplement the great learning's of The Hash.
On the seventh day Abbot Gispert did take rest and partake of "The Hangover" and revel in the gathering of The Hash, the friendships, the unspoken opinions, and the thought of having to do it all again.
AMEN. (Alberto Esteban Ignacio Gispert, 31/07/1903 - 11/02/1942)
"This run has no Checks" announced the hare.
(These instructions may have BEEN IN CAPS but I can't be sure).
And so it began.
Well, it didn't as a pack of about 36 milled around the Chi Fu Estate by the swimming pool trying to find trail. So, back to the start and revised instructions….
"Go down the main road".
And so it began II.
Faint arrows took us to PokFuLam Road. Left. Winnebago leading. Cheesy Flying Fux and ADWD in hot pursuit.
Right into Victoria Road, Mr. Happy Slippers enjoying the cooler weather so starts pushing the pace. Little Sai W@nker and Gobi Lo chasing hard.
Lack of arrows. Pack milling around. Guessing going on. Arrows found on the other side of the road.
And so it began III.
Further along Victoria Road, down steps to Cyberport, turn left. Ninja Winja snorting in anticipation of more concrete.
Lack of arrows. Pack milling around. Guessing going on. Arrow found pointing right into waterfront park.
And so it began IV.
Back out to Cyberport Road. Some of the pack lost. 700m uphill concrete thrash to "the split" at Sha Wan Drive. Rambos marking their own trail left as they ran past Sandy Bay stadium.
And so The Rambos began.
Rambo thrash up Sandy Bay Road to the school, turn right, past the cemetery, join The Wimps on the steps up to Sassoon Road.
And so The Rambos endeth.
Back trail behind the hospital, back to PokFuLam Village. Here the trail endeth. Sort of.
Front of the pack didn't see the turn off, and "the gate is closed at 8pm anyway", so thrasheth they to the finish.
But, the lesson not learned for The Hare. Indeed a group of 8 or more found the great gate of Peter closed and locked as predicted in the earlier ramblings of an ancient hasher. Luckily the Angel Peter appeared in blue uniform and opened said gate to allow The Followers Of Chalk to find their way home - Sticky Sex Toy, Kuntshy, Gin & Vomit, F3M, virgin runner Caolua plus Mr. Happy Slippers.
And so The Trail endeth.
Breaking of bread and fishes proceeded at the holy site "Maxim's Restaurant" for partaking of boiled pig's parts in a brown sludgy gravy. Offerings were washed down with the Abbot's best "Blue Girl".
The Down Downs by Kuntshy, Ninja Winja and Hopeless
(From notes that are hard to read).
The Hare - actually is 8 Down Downs listed - no Checks, no arrows, no Trash, RIP Gispert, locked gate on trail, something intelligible about "Lesballs" in Korea (?).
All upstanding for Gispert.
Master W@nker for failing the Vibram 100km despite being wrapped in kitchen foil.
Non-runner - The Virgin Mary, (sort of) non-runner Ivana Nukok.
Hopeless - no dummy spit this week.
Come Into My Tunnel - saying he is going to McDonald's "to get some real food" after The Bash.
The Hare - $352 for spinach dish.
HP Salsa - another hare that sets runs with no Checks.
Hopeless - marking the Rambo trail.
Sticky Sex Toy - got through the gate before the guard arrived while everyone else waited.
F3M - ordering and paying for her own fried rice at HK$85.
Castrato - selling off 2nd hand (beer) condoms.
The Virgin Mary & Chatoom Paedophile - beer bitches.
All those that climbed over the small blue gate at the hospital. Which was open. Ruggero, Hopeless, Buttfan and others.
Hash Crash - 20m into the run - Master W@nker.
Come Into My Tunnel - looks like Swine Sucker….? (Hopeless mistake).
Master W@nker - finally flying back to Shanghai - for a shave.
Kuntshy - couldn't get through the locked gate as his nose wouldn't' let him through while SST limbo danced underneath it.
Injuries slowing up our front runners - Dr. Evil and Thermal Dick.
The Song was sung by the Hare, solo.