Hares - Catch of the Day & Come into my Tunnel

Hashers - Bobbledick, Cheesy Flying Fox, Crème Brûlée, Dr Evil, Gobi Lo Ho, Octopussy, The Plank, Cnutshy, Yummy Mummy, Indyanus, Joe Gilfeather, HP Salsa, BOF, Shitler, Toilet Spray, MotorMouth, Brother Anus, Virgin Mary, Piss Perfect, Freewheel, Inflate-a-date Buttfuk, Hickey Slut, Macau Drunk

Write-up - Gobi Lo

The World War II losers hash run. We expected an adventure and we sure got one.

For all of Killer Kin's reputation, there were still a good number of people who trekked all the way out to Tung Chung on a Wednesday night. (And in case you were wondering why Tung Chung, it was because Catch of the Day had a flight to catch right after the On On)

The warm-up was 2km of flat-out urban running from the Run Start (led by Dr Evil, obviously very prepared for the Trailwalker), before we hit the mild shiggy - loose gravel up along a stream until a huge drain pipe. Piss Perfect was a little too eager to get up over the concrete ladder and got his fingers stepped on in the process, but this injury's nothing compared to what was to come later. Interestingly this was also where Motormouth decided to turn back and do her own trail, or to quote someone: "Since when did Motormouth actually ran a proper hash?".

Up to the Service Reservoir Road for the Wimp/Rambo split where Frank the Plank had a moment of wimpy-panic - "Am I on the Rambo?! Am I am I ??". Rambos (which the Plank was on) took a left down the hill to Wong Lung Hang Road, while Wimps to the right.

Wong Lung Hang Road was a long, windy tarmac road, yet another "softening up" before the pack hit the shiggy. And what a patch of shiggy it was. Over a stream and then into the jungle, thick enough for FRBs Cheesy Flying Fox and Inflate-a-date to get lost, and who had to rely on the keen eye of a certain lady to lead the way up to the top of the mountain. I say "mountain" because it was a hard climb up. But that actually was the easy part.

The trail took us along the ridge, a good 2km of pure, unadulterated shiggy. Shiggy so dense and blind that you couldn't even see the ground in front of you. Shiggy so pure that if you fell to the side you would fall on cushions of shrub. It was all very good for those who wore long tights - C*nt Shy was certainly not shy about rubbing it in and gloating about how his legs remained virginally-soft. But woe for those who were true Rambos, those who wore shorts! Loud exclamations were heard all over the ridge with the loudest coming from Octopussy. The fine views of Chek Lap Kok Airport that the hill offered did not elicit the usual enthusiasm from her this time.

As for me, I had Inflate-a-date's (in)famous encouragement, "Harden the f*ck up!" So with his ramblings and my HTFU mantra, I finally reached the bit of clearing after an open check. It was sheer joy to see tarmac again but sadly, it was only a teaser. The joy on my face was quickly erased when I saw more shiggy which went on and on and over the hill. It was the downhill which was the real Action Asia special; the terrain was basically a steep descent with drops over loose dirt. No foothold, no dents in the path. I had at least ten hash crashes which resulted in more scratches and puncture wounds, but hey, HTFU! I reserved my choicest slew of words for this part of the run and I am pretty sure everyone did too. For this was the downhill where the Wimps/Rambo routes met, so the wimps were not spared either.

I heard that Virgin Mary was holding on to Shitler's hand the entire time downhill but I missed the romantic link-up, having just reached the open check at Tung Chung Road right after them (they did the wimps trail). It was here at this check that BOF got terribly lost after 3 hours on the hill and he eventually made his way to the police station to get help. The trail then took a left on the road into the village where we had to face wild village dogs, yet another test of courage and fortitude. Forget the KOTH series, we have the LSW runs!

The next stretch here was actually quite pleasant except for the feint and sporadic arrow markings. Sure, the arrows were big, but what is the point when you couldn't see them unless you were standing two feet away? Turns out that the hare ran out of chalk and was scratching the arrows into the path using stones… CIMT should be re-named: Come Into My Caveman Tunnel.

Once out of the village, a sharp left took us into Yat Tung Estate and eventually into Ma Wan Chung, and on home to the pier. On on was a scrumptious seafood feast right by the pier but BOF was strikingly absent. However that is another story altogether, for by the time he was found I was already in bed. Let's just say, despite the numerous frantic phone calls, expensive taxi rides and missed ferries to Lamma (this one's for you Ruggero), everyone made it home ok.

Despite the dodgy urban markings and insane shiggy it was an enjoyable run. But of course everyone thought that the bit of downhill should be reserved for Super Rambos. It was, after all, off the map…

Down downs by Indy:

The Hares, Catch of the Day and Come into my Tunnel - The WWII losers run

Catch of the Day - her revenge run

Piss Perfect - nervous after COTD's Causeway Bay run, "Were you on that Indy?? Never to be forgotten!"

Inflate-a-date - FRBs, first in

Free Wheel - last in... oh wait, it's actually BOF who was still out there on the trails as DDs were being given

Octopussy - lost on trail, wandering around aimlessly

C*nt Shy - bragging about long tights + shoes with in-built gaiters, but still managed a hash crash

Virgin Mary - complains about long shiggy down

Toilet Spray - chatting up Dr Evil, "You're Danish, really? Such a lovely English voice!"

Come into my Tunnel - no write-up for Shitler's run last week

Shitler - no write-up from Come into my Tunnel

Piss Perfect - not knowing who Toilet Spray is, again

Anniversaries - Bobbledick 725 runs

Down downs from the floor:

Come into my Tunnel - bloody shitty run and for not doing write-up

Bobbledick - so hairy that random kids in China go up to him to stroke his arm

Inflate-a-date - b*tches the least about a hash / stark contrast to Hopeless

Crème Brûlée - being German, should be haring the WWII losers run

BOF (look-a-like) - for still being out in the trails even though it had been 4 hours?!

Virgin Mary - said to Malcolm (visitor), "My hash name is Virgin Mary". Malcolm asked "Shouldn't it be Anal Mary?" Virgin Mary replied "Actually that's closer to the truth..."

C*nt Shy - 12-year olds should not be giving DDs at the hash!

HP Salsa - not yet volunteered to set a run, obviously married

HP Salsa - can tell he is married as his clothes smell nice

The Hares (but only Come into my Tunnel present at this stage) - for the scratches and the pain, BOF still lost on trail

Inflate-a-date and Motormouth - only ones with no scars from the run

Anniversaries - Bobbledick 725 runs