HK Squash Centre
Hares : Buttfan & Winnabago (with help from Hormone Tester, Lost in Space, Ruggero and Hopeless).
It was with a large dose of skepticism that I arrived at the Squash Centre at HK Park for the run start. After all, Winnabago set a run together with Sticky Sex Toy at the last Babes Hash which took the last runner 4 hours and 22 minutes to return. (The hares claimed that the wimps route was about 8-10km and the Rambos about 10-12km…. but it was in the region of 15km just for the wimps).
To further deflate everyone's confidence, Buttfan launched into an extravagant speech about the white and red string markings. Something about following the red until you see a white which means a check and then back to red and 5km into the run there will be no more red but white all the way home. Go figure.
Master Wanker took the lead up Cotton Tree Drive - in fine form as he was crazy enough to sign up for the 100km Taklamakan Desert race next month - and onto the first check at Kennedy Road. The trail continued to head up vertically to Magazine Gap Road where we crossed paths with the hard-core Wednesday running group. Now this was where the hash went all haywire. Maybe it was the hot chick from the running group that got the front runners distracted (we know who you are! It's hard to mistake the blue top, Swine Sucker…) or maybe it was the rain but no one bothered to turn right at the road to check for the red string. We went up the steep Brewin Path, back down, then someone shouted "trail!" along Bowen Road, so that was where we headed.
Along the way on Bowen Road I saw F3M chatting up two young lads (while running!), both tall and handsome. The chatter went something like this: how long are you in Hong Kong for… are you sure you are not too young to drink… Ho hum!! I didn't want to get involved so quickly scampered off, and down Bowen Drive where I saw one red string and suddenly there was white string. But not just any white string, it was white RAFFIA string. Macau Drunk and I pondered over this and decided - nah, the hares could not possibly be that inconsistent and headed back up the slope. Besides, we were told the white string would only appear in the last 2km but we have only done about 2.5km by then.
But just as we were about to get back on Bowen, Master Wanker and the two young boys came charging down, with the strongest conviction that they were on the right trail. We shrugged and followed them down to Kennedy Road and back in the direction of HK Park.
As we rounded the corner of the entrance to the park, there stood the hares under a brolly - what is going on?! Apparently we took the wrong trail! Buttfan proceeded to explain that the trail was supposed to go up Old Peak Road and down some road that sounds like MacDonnell Road (which turned out to be Magazine Gap Road).
At that point it was pissing down and I was getting a little tired but thought, what the heck, l'd rather be running than standing around the beer bin waiting for the rest to head back. I followed Master Wanker and Macau Drunk to do part II of the hash, past Garden Road and into the Zoo and Botanical Gardens and onto Albany Road. All this while Macau Drunk was shouting directions to MW like a crazy drunk from Macau shouting at a cab driver where to go.
Up Old Peak Road we went and finally found the red string right at the top opposite Hillsborough Court. That gave us a jolt of morale boost, just about enough to cover the last bit of Old Peak Road before it splits: one becoming Tregunter Path and the other a 90 degrees angled path leading up to the Peak (which I heard Catch of the Day and newly-named Kamikaze Peak conquered together).
Master Wanker picked up the pace on the trail which quickly led down to Magazine Gap Road and onto the start of Bowen Road, exactly where the hash went wrong earlier in the evening. I decided to short-cut the rest of the run and headed down the steps which took us right back "on home" and where grapefruit drinks await after a good hash run. Ah! Life cannot get better than this. Thank you hares!
The Down Downs by Hopeless
The original hares - Buttfan and Winnabago
Hares and helpers - Buttfan, Winnabago, Hormone Tester, Lost in Space, Ruggero and Helpless
Come into my Tunnel - received an invitation from Buttfan to come to her tunnel
F3M - proud that she came in before Hopeless (4km vs. 8.2km)
Swine Sucker & Sarah - husband and wife runners
Denver Ho - lost big fat blue chalk, useless for night runs anyway!
Toilet Spray - decked out in Lavender, blouse + skirt + underwear + brolly
Kamikaze Peak - visitor - "peaked" in Hong Kong
Christine - virgin - introduced by Chatroom Pedophile into the world of hashing but obviously too old for his taste
Christine - virgin - mistaken as mother of an Egyptian client
Master Wanker - visiting from Shanghai Dogs Hash
Priscilla - for refusing to get his suit wet and borrowed Hopeless' umbrella
Piss Perfect - requested for oxygen tank for junk trip run #1750
F3M - cougar on the prowl
Motormouth & ???? - non-runners
The Song was sung by the Hares and all the helpers.