LSW 1738 Wednesday 2nd June



Hared by Crème Brûlée & Ninja Winja

Southorn Playground

You would think that heavy rain + a virgin hare make a perfect recipe for a low LSW hash turnout but boy, was I wrong. By the time I got to the Southorn Stadium there was already a large pack of hashers waiting patiently for the hares to appear. And by the time Crème Brûlée showed up dripping wet, we had a pack of 25+.

The instructions from the hares were to look out for the yellow ribbons. Three ribbons mean an open check; two will mean a Rambo/Wimp split. Follow the yellow-brick… no, follow the yellow-ribbon road. So with that we ran off in the rain along Queen's Road East with Frank the Plank leading the pack, looking as fit as a fiddle. Obviously all the veggie food is helping…

The pack first met with a lot of confusion at the pedestrian bridge next to Ruttonjee Sanatorium - an open check in the middle of the bridge?! - and Piss Perfect didn't look too happy either trying to find the next piece of that damned yellow ribbon as far down as Stubbs Road. Eventually someone figured it out and headed towards Kennedy Road and up Shui Fai Terrace.

The first Wimps route went straight up to Bowen while the Rambos were treated to a long detour on Stubbs Road (I could almost hear Piss Perfect cursing), along which the front runners bumped into Bobbledick..... taking a piss on the side of the road. Now, how on earth Bobbledick ran past the pack without being noticed and still have time to take a leak will forever be a mystery, just like how the legendary Hannah Montana can down twenty-seven cans of beer in one hour and remain standing.

Just as we thought the run was getting a tad boring the trail led us up the steep Wan Chai Gap Road, which drew more than a few expletives along the way. Here, Faster Pussy stepped on the gas and powered up the hill showing just how fit she really is, before disappearing into the dark.

As we struggled up the hill, we suddenly saw a strange apparition: a coolie worker? A Chinese vampire? Ah, it's only our very own Ninja Winja with a white towel tied round his head (don't ask me why but apparently that's the latest Harajuku fashion statement). He explained that all the Checkbacks had been washed away by the rain and waved us up Black's Link. I thought to myself, what a very nice hare he is, going all the way up the hill to tell us where to go. But we would find out only much later that he had something up his sleeves…

Along Black's Link we ran, enjoying the stellar night views of the city (Octopussy would have probably spent a good five minutes exclaiming "Oh it's so pretty! So pretty!"). Up to the top of the hill and an open check; Bobbledick turned right into HK trail, Mystery Fast Man (hash name to be verified) went left up the reservoir road and Faster Pussy went straight ahead (still on Black's Link). Three choices, three very different routes. Hm, I was torn. But just then I heard a faint call of "Flour!" from Bobbledick, so the HK trail it is… but he should have shouted "Mud!" instead. The rain doesn't make it easy.

The rain doesn't make it easy to see the flour along the trail either. Perhaps it was serendipity or maybe I was just being extra careful; I turned to look at a small dirt trail leading up into the shiggy and saw chalk markings, R and arrows. Aha!! The other Rambo split. No double yellow ribbon but a nice clump of melting flour next to a fern indicated that I was most definitely on the right trail. A distant call of "Trail!" from Mystery Fast Man nailed the confirmation as I worked my way through the shiggy, collecting scratches on my arms and hard shin knocks into tree stumps. Now that's what I call a proper hash!

Up and over Mt Cameron the yellow-ribbon road took me, and back down to Middle Gap Road. Three ribbons, an open check. Hm. This is unfamiliar territory, and I hear no one behind me. Left or right? Just then a group of runners appeared on the road to my left and as I peered at them trying to work out if they were hashers, they shouted my name. Saved once more! They were none other than Dr Evil and his merry men (and women) - Hickey Slut, Octopussy and Ian "The Wheezer" Broughton.

Onto Wan Chai Gap Road again, and we decided the shortest way home was down the same road we came up on. We were cold, hungry and wet so who could blame us? But Octopussy and the Wheezer had the eyes of a hawk and spotted the ribbon leading into the Contour Trail, so there was no easy way out. Dammit. Besides, it was then I realized just how "nice" Ninja Winja was. He deliberately planted himself at the top of the road earlier and after the pack had gone he put down two giant 'T's lest we get tempted to take the easy route home. Very thoughtful indeed.

The Contour Trail was a pleasant shiggy run which took us over swollen streams and (almost) right into several low-lying tree branches, before going down the steps to… Bowen Road! Magic.

By the time I got to the check at the Petrol Station on Kennedy Road, I was very cold and hungry but perhaps not more so than Castrato, looking very very grumpy and very lost. I told him I will check the steps down to Monmouth Terrace and all I got from him was a gruff nod before he went east. When I saw the yellow ribbon I almost ran ahead but remembered that Castrato was heading towards the wrong direction, so I went back up to tell him (he was very grateful). I don't know what the world is coming to, but that one kind act of the day meant I had to pay a price (in the form of a Grapefruit down down)?! Funny world, that…

A quick sprint through Star Street and finally back home to the Southorn Stadium. A sullen face from STFU gave a quick indication that he was one of the few who carried on along Black's Link to the Cricket Club and Tai Hang Road, but that's nothing like a concussion on a sail boat can't cure!

A fantastic run despite the wet weather, thank you Ninja and Crème Brûlée (who is German and not Turkish)!
Denver Ho

Hmmm, my run went something along the lines of: start with a drink at OCH at 5.30…..

Follow chalk till it ran out on Kennedy Rd (ok, maybe I didn't look very carefully) and do my own version of Wanchai by night with the aid of an umbrella and resist the impulse to stop at OCH on the way back!

And the On-On - a great Turkish (yes, there's a Turkish restaurant in Wanchai) meal with enough veg to suit the vegies and enough meat to suit the carnivores with 20 attendees fully sated by the time DDs started.

Down Downs as follows:

The Hares: who did what? Crème Brulee - set the wimps whilst partner Ninja Winja set the Rambo

Crème Brulee - virgin LSW hare - well done in trying conditions

Late for the hash and phoning to ask WHERE in Southorn Playground is the start- Priscilla

STFU - going in wrong direction on Black's Link

Community Chest - taking a taxi back

Denver Ho - not enough running for her so she did the Rambo loop twice

Jo Eades - running with her backpack

Virgin Mary - non-runner

Lost on trail - Dr Evil

Bite'n'Suck - sending text please bring torch and then not using it at all

Castrato Hash Cash - new apron made lovingly by wife and he washes it and fades the lettering

Frank the Plank - looking good - all that veggie food must be good for him

Ian - came in last

Priscilla - family man - moved to bottom flat in DB and Loving it!

Motormouth non runner and spends the on-on talking about her new diet but with her mouth full of food

Swinesucker - went out for run with Sarah…. He did 12 kms and she did 22!

Bite'n'Suck - 125 runs

13.28km 1hr 59min