Elgin Street

Hare: Sweaty Snailgobbler

With this week's supposedly and usually reliable hare, Lost in Space - currently Lost somewhere in Alaska - hence, our more reliable 'non-committee' members, Indy Anus, Hopeless and Ruggero had endless hours of brainstorming on what to do.

There's Hopeless - who just can't help himself - volunteering at every single hash in Hong Kong everytime there is a hare-less crisis. The only group you don't see his name on is the Babes Hash. So despite the dummy spits and side comments, we all know how he truly loves hashing. Why won't he? He even rescues damsels (Motormouth) for hours and hours as Lost Patrol.

Ruggero, with his elegant subdued personality - raising his hand up for a Lamma special - and of course Indy Anus, who has kept no stone unturned in trying to find a replacement for tonight's hare. It was such an unfortunate coincidence that 6 of her candidates happen to be in this secret Niseko skiing holiday. For the record, they are Chatroom, Bobbledick, Dr. Evil, Tom Turk, Inflate a Date & Yummy Mummy.

But Virgin Mary won't do a solo setting - unless there is a co-hare. Well there isn't one. Anal Invitation has beeb banned for having anything to do with her - as it could jinx the upcoming nuptials.

We even contemplated to do a 'joint' run with N2TH3!

Unlucky us that they (N2TH3) also had a M.I.A. hare that they actually sent out an official memo to 'join' LSW instead.

Finally - Sweaty Snailgobbler, has stepped up to make his comeback in his own turf - the fancy La Terrasse venue in Elgin Street. Who can refuse an authentic yet affordable French dinner comprising of Chef Rene's famously handmade bread rolls? At least 30 foodies did turn up including newbies from last Sunday's WH3 run.

The pack swelled and swelled as we awaited the drinks from Indy Anus - who has been slightly delayed and stressed to the max as she can't find this Grapefruit drink that has been so staple of FFFM's post run recovery habit - that she somehow remembered everything else but her wallet! As if she didn't have enough problems looking for a volunteer!!!!

She found Team Vittel and Salve to help in the drinks, and they too, could not find any Grapefruit.

So off we went running in the Soho - with all the gweilos in the bars - all bewildered at this group. I overheard them saying - "yeah right - I'll run 500 meters with them."

Those poor unfortunate souls have no clue what they're missing on. That beer in hand would taste 10 times better after sweating out on a Sweaty run.

At the first check, the Parkys misled us in the 'On Home' trail up in Castle Road so we all scrambled in the opposite direction towards Bowen Road and up the steep Brewin path. It is so steep it has forced myself to make a quickie toilet stop.

The Parkys, however, continue to find ways to do other quickies up the steps and cut about 500meters - exactly 30 seconds was saved - and that was how quick it took them! What a mother of all quickies - as Park N Shop darted out of their hiding place giving us a chuckle.

Then it was that deadful pagoda up in Old Peak Road which meant the mother of slippery rocks shiggy - 2KM's of sheer hell. Wow, those drinking gweilos sure are lucky they only did 500 meters. Even the whimpiest of the whimps, Virgin Mary, was rumored to enjoy this bit, she even passed Parky on the terrible downhill.

The Rambos carried upwards from PoShan to another shiggy trail that went thru the mother of landslides in Hongkong - behind HK University just above the famous xylophone trail.

Here, newbie Philippe was so enthralled by the rough concrete slope treatment (a HK engineering standard) - that he missed missing a pipe on the side, banged his forehead straight into it - and produced the mother of all artery burstings that we have seen on LSW. He had the look of George Romero's original zombies - sans the fake blood.

He carried on running and scared all the II's, porcupines and wild boars in the bushes - plus the same gweilos in the bars as he crept back to Elgin street - with a toothy grin. Those lucky gweilos.

Down downs by Hopeless:

Plentiful for the Hare, Sweaty, who came up to the challenge of a short notice run. He was challenged, indeed, knowing the presence of David Wu - a hash flash wannabee who gave him a run for his camera last Sunday.

FFFM who was whinging about Wanchai Wanker's yakking and yakking on the run, why can't he STFU? And for giving Indy grief about the Grapefruit.

Visitors - Tall Paul, Jelly, David Wu, Philippe & Alan Tan. Also for having gay showers.

Indy - who lost and found her wallet. Buttfaan for negotiating the recovery of the wallet.

Priscilla - for sexually harrassing Buttfaan and for researching birth control methods.

Parkys - a sneak quickie shortcut - and last week's Hares.

Last Week's hash cash missing - B n S and having to overexert her bf Verbal Diarrhea in Oz. No birth control issues here...

Hickey Slut - losing her birthpills...can still qualify for birth control issues?

Anniversaries - Wanchai wanker (75 runs), Sticky Sex Toy (25), HS (125)

Namings (which are not normal in LSW):

Tall Pole - Paul, the tall guy

Pubic's Bitch - David Wu for being hash flash wannabee

Stand in writer,

HS

The map

Now that's a hash crash