Remembrance Day, Wong Nai Chung Gap
Indy Anus and Bobbledick - the hash marriage from hell? Would Remembrance Day become better known as Forgettance Day? These were the questions preying on hashers minds as they gathered for this week's run.
Let us consider the pedigree of these two ageing hash thoroughbreds. According to one fellow hasher, Bobbledick has a reputation for setting "long, boring runs." He was, LSW hashers may be loathe to recall, the architect of a Hang Hau hash, which he set over three days, resulting in a degraded trail that saw Nurse Fcuker stumble in, physically and mentally a shadow of his former shadow (albeit a generous one), in a near record 3 hours and 45 minutes, loyally supported by Dr Evil (thin) - (this unfortunate turn of events failed to dull Bob's appetite as he serendipitously ploughed his way through the Peking Duck and several sundry dishes while the whereabouts of his fellow hashers remained unknown).
Meanwhile Indy, ably assisted or hamstrung as the case may be, by the aforementioned NF set a notorious Anzac Day run last year in Stanley that saw the entire pack lose trail only to have them splinter into groups in a desperate attempt to find the correct route. One ended up near a dog compound, resulting in a symphony of barking that echoed around the town, and another confronting what amounted to border guards ordering them back from what turned out to be the correct trail. Fed up with running in circles, the run was abandoned with hashers making their own way home. Actually, I recall this was the only hash I've done where neither hare managed to make it to the start. We should have read the omens.
On another Stanley interlude set with Strap On Sally, Indy took us down a set of metal stairs so rusted and decrepit they would not have been out of place on a derelict tramp steamer. We hit a road at the bottom with an on on to port. Former LSW stalwart Sweaty Snail Gobbler swallowed the bait only to hit a Check Back that was eventually solved by having to run back through the on on, taking us on a starboard route from the metal steps. Indy maintains to this very day that this haring abomination did not contravene hash law and subsequent legal action for Carlsberg compensation is currently listed before the Hong Kong Hash Appellate Court to be heard by Chief Justice Wanker.
Add to this Bobbledick's scathing review of last week's run (sniff). Just to remind fellow hashers, it included remarks like, "…….. quite predictable...... I made the foolish decision to take the Rambos……… How stupid I was." He concluded with, "The back down (sic) comprised very steep sections of firm soil covered with some perfect loose grit. The hare had not provided any ropes, leaving the descent somewhat treacherous and the Rambo loop to be one of the most stupid and nonsensical of all my 20 years of hashing in Hong Kong." When tapping out this critique, Bobbledick presumably failed to appreciate he may have been drawing added attention to his own haring skills when setting the very next week's run. And so it turned out to be.
We arrived at A at the "predictable" sitting out area at Wong Nei Chung gap. The omens were not good. Indy was the only hare present, with Bobbledick presumably still out laying trail. Indy then endeavoured to explain the trail markings to some newcomers, which was followed by a slightly surreal conversation when Macau Drunk enquired of Indy whether she knew what an Open Check was. Indy hesitated disconcertingly before responding with an uncertain "yes". Omens.
Our run briefing began with Indy providing requisite information, which included two Rambo splits, the second of which included historic markers and the like, following the Remembrance Day theme. We were then engaged in a debate on the best time to have a minute's silence that went on long enough for some of us to just want her to shut up! Indy was reluctant to let the pack go without her co-hare returning, presumably to fill us in on aspects of the trail he was still out setting. At 7.20pm Bobbledick wandered in and the most significant advice was that the run contained all Open Checks.
Mercifully, the hounds were finally released and made our way into the playground across the road where we found the first Open Check. This failed to fool anyone and we proceeded to the earliest Rambos split I can remember, which took us along a catchwater into the Tai Tam country park toward Violet Hill. We continued along the catchwater here for around 1,500 meters before the FRB's hit a Check Back. This allowed us stragglers to catch up and Hopeless finally found a shiggy trail leading up a steep incline. Little did we know shiggy is all we would see for the next 2kms or so, as we made a seemingly interminable climb to eventually find ourselves on an exposed peak with winds of decent T3 standard, which must have blown some of the markings away. At the front of a group negotiating a steep and difficult downhill section, Hopeless lost hope so we started back up the hill. It was only when no alternative could be found that we explored the original route to find trail further down.
The shiggy took us back down to the Wilson trail before a "predictable" two-way closed check took us left back toward the Hong Kong Parkview apartments.
It is here that my account ends because I flicked my torch right while coming down some gravel steps at around the 4km mark and quickly found myself in a crumpled heap on the ground, having gone over on my right ankle, resulting in an acute case of SBAS (soccer ball ankle syndrome).
In all we had encountered three Checks in 4 kms to that point, two of which were not open. With that brand of misinformation, minimal checking and endless shiggy I feared for what lay ahead (but thanks, as ever, to the hares for getting off their arses and setting the run!)………. over to Hopeless…..
Well, I can report dear PP, that things did not really improve! The run took a turn right, down past Parkview, into the next country park. We knew the trail was going to break left, but where…..? Finally we found the Check, and into the tall bamboo we went. We were now on the 2nd Rambo split. Dr Evil was leading the way, with Ruggero in tow, Hannah Montana snapping at their heels. Then, like some weird story at the end of a news report, we found someone wandering out of the mist. Was this another Japanese soldier, hiding for 60 years, holding out the last command post of the Imperial War….? No, it was LOST IN SPACE! He decided, along with Cyclops, to do a Wimp/Rambo combination, and had been caught by the Rambo1 contingent.
Amazingly we found ourselves running a previous WH3 trail backwards. Lots of markings, none crossed out, flour scattered around, up and into the stream bed, wet feet, and finally we came out on the HK Trail by Jardine's Lookout and the quarry. Up to the top, and amazingly predictable and boring run back to Parkview, to the trail we'd left earlier, basically we were doing a 'figure of 8'. Then, amazingly, some fresh chalk turned us back into the barrier, and a run past all the war memorial signs to the reservoir, where Dr Evil stopped to read up on his local history. At some point he lost his glasses on this run, so I am assuming that Thursday he was out retracing his steps to find those lost glasses around this last section of trail?!
So, predictably, the trail went down to Sir Cecil's Ride, and along to the finish. Hannah Montana, Hopeless and Ruggero running a good pace together to finish in just under two hours.
Actually not a bad trail, but needed a lot more flour on the hill, and some crossing out of the other trails around. Bring on the rain so we can have 'clean trails' to re-mark in the run up to Xmas!
The Hares - Bobbledick & Indyanus
Remembrance day drink to Dad's Army - Bobbledick and The Plank
700th run for Bobbledick - wine presented
Quiche - Waiting for the starters gun
Comb-over award to Boilers - very proud of it, runner up Cyclops
What do we think of the food - Frank the Plankton had never tried okra or chickpeas and was impressed
Someone - buying beers from the 7-11 instead of Hash Cash.
Hopeless has changed the rules while in absence - apparently hares don't have to pay for the run
Bobbledick had already paid and wanted a refund
Indy - mingling in the male changing room
LIS - lost on ground never in the air. Others who didn't see the Parkview markings - Cyclops and Priscilla
Boilers - off doing body repairs, demonstrates his hockey skills on the bus, nearly puts his stick through the window
Cathy and Nick from Lamma - Ruggero made them come
When one Lammaite drinks all Lammaites drink. Quiche drinks too. New LSW shirts presented.
Macau Drunk - his brand new wood deck at the back of the house - clearly as a result of the drugs sold on Lamma.
Frank the Plank, lost his phone, asked Hopeless to call him, ringing in the bag but couldn't hear it
FFFm - office wear with a Little Miss Bossy t-shirt from Bangkok
FFFm / Hopeless at the table communicating with each other on their Crackberries (or as Indy would say Chuck Berrys)
FFFm / Hopeless exchange of gifts - him t-shirt, her anal cream
Little Pear (departed) look alike - bequeathed a pair of trainers to Carol but they haven't had the desired effect
UK Hash reunion t-shirt worn by Cyclops 'cos his other favorite from 12 years old had mould on it and was put back in the drawer.
Cyclops, LIS, Boilers and Priscilla returnees
LIS, gave the first Santa Hash $$$ donation
Dr Evil, lost his specs on the trail. Can't remember at what point things went blurry
Dr Evil, said to Hannah Montana look what your grandfather did to me
Priscilla called Indy from Raffles before going to Jakarta to stay at a flea pit brothel
Priscilla the tri-athlete
Indy, covered in flour, looking rough recruited some potential hashers passing the bins
HDSB award to Quiche - not Sabah again !
Cathy, first time off Lamma for a long time. When one Lammaite drinks…
Ruggero - apparently has the perfect life, wife, children (some bribery involved in that down-down)
Bite'n'Suck - returnee after 3 wks
The Plank - 350 runs.
Bobbledick - off to live in NZ - isn't a cheaper place to live so he'll be back... oh it's only for a month
Bobbledick - Cut an hour loop off the intended trail leaving it a mere 1hr 55min. Will recycle the loop another day