Hares : Hopeless, Bite n Suck & Boilers (Shergar)
My overloaded work schedule saga continues at this week's write-up. I have already 'written' off (no pun intended) setting the run physically and my co-hare Dr. Evil assures me he will take charge of everything as long as I do this piece. As it is my co-duty to assure that everything goes well, I have assigned my daughter Vittel (plus my amah) to assist him for the drinks. Going one step further, I have given a memo to my co-workers Pablo the Colombian and Chris Bennett to attend 'my' run even if I miss it.
Enough of this prologue sh-t and get on with the run……
A fast walk from my office to Pier no. 9 is only 15 minutes. I saw my fellow runners Niggled, Little Pair and visitor Bonnie marching onwards to make it to the 18:30 non negotiable departure time. With the summer vacation officially over.... A mass of 30 hashers have complied with this deadline but our enthusiasm trickled slowly with the news that Boilers had a miscommunication error with his PA regarding the junk booking.
"I hope they brought tents"
Despite Gunpowder Plod's intimidation of the various vessels roaming at Victoria Harbour, we were all re-directed to taxi to the opposite side of HK Island with Boilers having to manage to convince (bribe) his junk captain to interrupt his dinner and get to the Aberdeen Boat Club by 19:30. Only Boilers can pull up such a recovery - money? power? position? humility? or just being nice? Take a guess.
Zooming in on Po Toi - the weary hare Hopeless and mystery co hare Bite N'Suck seemed high in spirits that we all made it and that their sacrifices earlier (speedboats, humidity, heat, climb) did not go to waste.
We were told to get the drinks, bring our bags and start off. Everyone, apart from 3, did the Rambos. This includes Virgin Mary - who claims to be innocent of being a Rambo - was chugging along the rough start. It was reported that she was intending to do the Rambos since it will be so short. She was in for a shock - a very thorny and bushy 'short' trail indeed. With Park N Shop so far off, the gentleman Parky volunteered his veteran services to escort VM all the way. He had a thing about hearing damsels in distress moaning. But only if Park N Shop is 4KM's ahead.
The rest of us marched on with FFFM passing off a stinky shirt hanging on a tree branch which Chatroom refused to touch. It was later revealed that this belongs to Hopeless who wanted the last runner to carry it back as a 'shit' shirt. This is an extreme variation of the SekKong tradition.
The all familiar rough terrain and chains slowed me a bit - racing with the ever competitive Park N' Shop, Riitta, Lucy and Sticky Sex Toy. Lost in Space was pushing onwards - this particular group seem to rub off their charm to untap his speed and agility - which remain hidden when these factors (cute single girls) are absent.
We carried on in this never-ending Sleeping Beauty-esque forest of thorns and deadbeat steps and were anticipating an ambush from wild boars (the dragon) - but alas - the only wild life we encountered was the same domesticated dog that ran with us last year in this island.
Butt Fan claimed to rescue it by dragging the poor thing on the double Rambos. I could hear its heavy breathing behind my neck.
Meanwhile, the 3 Wimps - Boilers, Bonnie and @nal Acceptance (aka the Engagee) popped out of the pagoda going in the opposite direction to short cut. Cunningly- Plod had already used his pee stop technique to be the first Shortcutter in.
Going fast forward to the front of the pack - Ivana was determined to beat other animals Hannah Montana and Dr. Evil who were also breathing down her neck. This week - she is the winner. Too bad Niggled changed his mind about the run. He could have scored 2 in a row.
At the other end - VM and Parky reluctantly handed back Hopeless' shirt. It was in a worse state than when we first saw it on the branch - apparently - VM and Parky used it as their anger management tool. So they say.....
HS (also known as Brazilian Buttslap)
The Bash Three tables of delectable mostly seafood, meats and vegetarian dishes were set up for everyone. Priscilla's habit of hogging an entire bucket of beer sent FFFM's heart rate beyond her VOMax that anyone along her path was shoved off to the opposite end of the tables (think Park N Shop). She went back to a relaxed mode upon sighting of Hopeless entering the restaurant and sitting down for a quiet meal.
In our table, was wine lover Little Pair who was hallucinating about Piss Perfect's 'cuteness' attributing her loneliness of her far way Hedgehog. It must be duly noted that she is also fully jetlagged. Not enough, though, to pay the same compliment to the adjacent Plod. Perhaps if he had his shirt on - he might get waitlisted to the mature cute club.
The Down Downs (by Hopeless) were held on the boat.
The Down Downs
Boilers was renamed for this one night only as 'Boat Boy'
Lucy - for bringing taxi money on the run. (in Po Toi).
FFFM - wearing a special shiggy skirt (and ruining Hopeless's free vest)
Hickey Slut/Brazilian Buttslap - for flip-flopping on names. Now HS on LSW too.
Ivana/Chatroom - forced to stay at the OnOn
Plod - self confessed shortcutter
ButtFan - dog rescuing
@nal Invitation - ménage a trois with VM & Engagee
@nal Invitation - had an @nal injection
(Prospective) new Mrs @nal is now "@nal Acceptance"
Priscilla - causing too much stress to FFFM
Hannah Montana - creating a self infected office cupboard.
BoatBoy - will fire his PA
Bravef@rt - way past his bedtime and 9 missed calls
FFFM - terrorizing Table 1 - blame Priscilla!
BnS - returnee and managed to set 300meters
Virgin Mary - the only dummy spitter
Sticky ST/Riitta - demanding that the boat dock off in Stanley
Hopeless/@nal Invitation - doing a 69 for 69 jobs
Park N Shop - Best nipples
Lots of DD's from the floor, including:
Parky - most patient and gallant with VM
Hopeless - using his machete on his hair
Macau Drunk - escaping down downs
Rosie and friend - going to church instead of bars
Bonnie - Visitor from NY
Little Pair - thinks Piss Perfect is "cute"
Sorry if I missed the doctor-esque handwriting.... Couple more points of order from last week's Run: The running vests for the run where provided by Hopeless out of his own pocket, so no complaints will be entertained! Boat and boat drinks was also free, courtesy of "Boatboy" who should be commended for his recovery of the situation. The hares would like to thank you to all those that made the extra effort and expense of a taxi ride to Aberdeen to get Boat II.