Yau Tong, Sam Ka Tuen playground
Hare – Hannah Montana
A couple of write-ups:
My workload has been crazy in the last few weeks - so it was a miracle of sorts that no amount of deadlines, Vittel stress syndrome, humidity nor hot weather will deter me from showing up at a Hannah Montana run. Not only is he the fittest hasher to date (now that Sweaty has been blackholed in his French quarter), he is also the Guinness World record holder of the most post run Carlsbergs... ever.
About 13 runners turned up auspiciously at Yau Tong - a far sounding location - but was in fact - only 15 minutes away from Admiralty.
Hannah's briefing of 'gulp'.... 10K Rambo and an 8K Wimps surely brought chills down Nursef-cker's spine. Lost in Space was more optimistic at the split. He blurted, "I figured a 2 kilometre difference means nothing anymore if I will be out for an 8K Wimps! - the hare promised no hills "
And what a liar he was. He will get down downs for misleading us - although he would probably appreciate those (more beer - hmmmm). Gary Glitter was whinging up the first and was utterly cursing on the 2nd never-ending climb blaming his dead torch and 'jelly' legs plus character(less) building fellow hashers Happy Slippers (and yours truly) of abandoning him on the shiggy.
But we carried on a long long runners' trail where Anal Retreat was using pies and cornish pasties as his reason for slowing down. He couldn't use the dead battery excuse because that was already taken by Mr. Glitter. He said he needed a couple of months to get back into FRB mode. Perhaps if he can somehow have his Saturday hash ban lifted - his transformation to his old self could be fast tracked?
After going through more beautiful running trails, single tracks and steel rungs, we finally pulled back into the concrete jungle that was Yau Tong - seeing 'On Home' about 1km away from 'A'. And this time - it was myself who was cursing!
Niggled could not stop declaring (OK - gloating) that there is no racing on the hash - but nevertheless, he'd 'won' !
See attached GPS data to prove!
Right out of the park down to a T heading towards the typhoon shelter
Up Ko Chiu Rd. where most of the pack went up into the Wilson Trail 'cos that where Hannah's last run came out – you know the old reverse run psychology. It worked – for the hare that is.
Back again then right into Pik Wan Rd. and right up and up and up the steps of Chiu Keng Wan Shan.
A check half way up had everyone heading down the other side 'cos the alternative was further up and on shiggy. The hare had said 'no shiggy' and 'no hills'. More reverse psychology.
Up the shiggy it was, only to have to go down the other side all the way back to the road to rejoin the wimps.
A good canter along the disused Po Lam South Rd. where the checks were ignored as a ruse.
The check where car access starts again went 150m down to the right to a T – that was to make up for missing the previous ones.
Retrace to go through the avalanche protection netting and the long haul up Mau Wu Shan.
Past the fort up to the top where a check to the right 'ended' in a T…. followed by some bipolar schizophrenic Jackson Pollack flour and chalk markings after the T. The hare had also thought he could get through…
On left to Ng Kwai Shan Black Hill and down the stone steps for the longish traverse round Cheung Lung Tin.
Emerge at the pagoda with an old bloke having a right laugh pretending he couldn't speak English and sending Filthy and Nurse off in the wrong direction.
On Home signs towards MTR exit A2 and on in.
The front about 90mins and 10km with the checks.
Lost in Space and a torchless Fisherman's Friend about an hour later having both done the Rambos. The map
The pack dwindled to 9 people by the time we got to the restaurant, but with bottles of Tsingtao for $5 and no chickens feet everyone was happy.
On ons were open to the floor:
The Hare – great run, not too hot, hardly any steps, plenty of light and no shiggy
Virgin Mary – Allergic to beer, bullsh@t pisses it down so they say
Gary Glitter – math’s anorak and working out bash food bill in his head
Virgin Mary – contrary to claim of pissing it down decided to offload beer to Lost in Space
Lost in Space – grateful recipient and noble man offering to drink for VM
Nurse Fcuker – Alzheimer setting in big time, couldn’t remember the start- finishes of run……. who am I?
Quick Wańk- or is it Frank the Wańk? taking over chat room pedophile duties and doing it very well
Anal Retreat – Call of ultimate dickhead from the floor as a term of endearment
Hanna Montana – not drinking the statutory 6 cans of beer after the run because of his haring duty so we think sneakily drinking whiles waiting for runners to return and sufficiently tanked at the bash
Gary Glitter – called fellow hashers fcukbag1 & fcukbag2 aka Hicky Slut and Mr. Happy Slippers for leaving him on his own in dense shiggy without a torch
Fisherman Friend – Too much sex and frivolity on her holiday and bragging about it
Virgin Mary – suggesting taxi on way home when only 100 yards from the finish
Gary Glitter – ridiculous Homer Simpson socks in bad taste
Lost in Space – claims Virgin Mary needs 50 minute showers to wash the bits that over soaps can not reach
Virgin Mary – for taking hair care products and taking 40 minutes to wash those bits that have no hair at all – think about this one!
Anal Retreat – wanting to be the soap in the shower
Nurse Fcuker – unacceptable hygiene sneezing and spitting all over the table
Fisherman Friend – no torch so partnered with Lost in Space and got truly lost in space, so should know better
Ruggero – hash embellishment of flour explosion on top of trail and something about circles on stones, confusion running around aimlessly – what run was he on?
Visitor – Quick Wańk or Frank the Wańk?
Returnees – Fisherman Friend & Virgin Mary
Hash song – Hare & returnees and very poor effort indeed!