Wednesday 29th July

Hares: Gary Glitter & Buttfaan

The Run

Having just returned from Bali's mild winter climate, Hong Kong's heat and humidity has been like one, long punch in the face.

With some trepidation I fronted up for Gary Glitter's run in Quarry Bay and alarm bells began ringing when I first caught sight of GG dressed in his civvies but looking like he'd just done a few laps of the local pool, despite having showered and changed after setting the run.

He later described how he had in fact laid the run twice because he'd set it on Tuesday then had to go back and re-set it on Wednesday after the overnight rain. His face was twisted in pain just recalling the difficulty of setting the Rambos in reverse in the baking heat. Apparently Buttfan was co-haring but it wasn't clear what her involvement included. As she looked like she'd just stepped out of an air-conditioned fashion boutique, I think it devolved to hash cash and general hasher liaison.

In any event, a typically elite group for this time of year gathered at the park by football pitch on Hoi Chak St, including three British visitors. The first check was meters from the start and threw us into complete confusion. Fortunately, Boilers had turned up late and after formally announcing his arrival and that he was "going to do something", which I gather may have included a comprehensive bin monitoring service, he was sitting at the start, making sure the bins were still there when I ran past yet again. He advised the on on was around the back of the soccer court, which proved correct and we managed to at least get going.

We headed in the direction of City Plaza, with a series of checks eventually taking us back up Taikoo Shing Road, past Westland Gardens onto to Kings Road. The pack was largely intact through this section but started to spread out as we headed over Kings Road and up to Cornhill where GG must have expended considerable energy laying a mega-4 way check that eventually directed us up to the Wilson trail. Running through the urban jungle seemed to amplify the heat and humidity and this was reflected in the pedestrian pace most were going at.

I was ambling along with Hannah Montana and we hit the Wilson trail together, which we followed for some time. I lost him on a check in the upper reaches and bumped into Martin and young British visitor, Fraser Posford. We then embarked on one of the longer unbroken contour path runs I can recall and from this point I largely ran alone. I didn't have the heart to tell GG, given the effort he'd put into setting the run, but the flour markings were so sparsely laid at times, they looked like they'd been dispensed with a salt shaker. I almost had to get down on all fours and conduct a full forensic examination to convince myself it was (a) trail (b) not old trail and (c) nothing else. NF, who prefers to dole out flour with the use of heavy machinery on trail, must have been frothing at the mouth. Though I noticed he'd gone out without water again so any frothing may well have resulted from serial dehydration.

Then I heard a tentative cry from behind, "Is anybody there?".

It turned out to be young Englishman Fraser, seemingly, and not unreasonably, a little spooked at finding himself alone at night on a hill somewhere in the Hong Kong jungle. As I seemed to have an almost terminal case of lactic acid build up in my legs following an extended lay off, I thought I'd trot along with Fraser to keep him company. But he began employing a curious interval running technique where he'd fall behind, then put in a sharp burst to catch up, then repeat the process, all the while grunting and groaning like his colon had succumbed to an acute bout of spasticity. This soon proved a tad annoying so I put in a short burst just to get far enough ahead without completely losing touch.

We were descending down Mount Parker road at this point past the Rambo/wimps split at Sir Cecil's Ride, which looped along Sir Cecil's and joined the wimps back on Mount Parker road. The route took us back down to Quarry Bay on home along Kings Road.

GG advises that Hannah and Comes with Cockney tracked the Rambos with GPS watches at 11.5km to 12.5km, depending on how long they'd spent roaming lost in the bush. I did the wimps and would reckon it was in the vicinity of 8-9kms. It took me an hour and 45 minutes anyway, with marathon hasher Nurse Fcuker enduring just on 2 hours in the energy sapping heat.

The On On was at the local Thai restaurant, with 11 hashers in attendance.

The Down Downs

Down downs from the floor were as follows (and thanks to GG for providing run route details):

• The hares
• Our visitors from the UK
• Imogen for contaminating HK with Swine flu all the way from UK
• Bondi Barbie something about aged runner and looking good for it
• Nurse Fcuker poncing on about his name and looking for something more socially acceptable - no chance and Fcuker it is
• Bondi Barbie backward runner and no idea of where he ran
• Brave Fart look-alike left run early and some lame excuse about no batteries!! Bullsh2t as one those men under the wicked spell
• Rearend Scrubber for casting those wicked spells
• Fraser and his Mum for family feud on the hash
• Comes with Cockney after a year jobless has finally found a job and working for the KGB
• Chatroom Pedophile and Comes with Cockney giggling and lots of joviality of the run with some suspicion of a sexual nature
• Gary Glitter soon to be Dr. Glitter and studying for PhD - we think not and more like an MBA
• Bondi Barbie claims of doctor death through over doing his anesthesia duties a bit too vigorously
• Hannah Montana beer hover and keeping up the tradition
• Nurse Fcuker not so bright in coming to Brave Farts aid to offer new batteries when he should have known the ploy to get off the run early as under that wicked spell
• Sarah taking brief of Dr. Shipman the mass murderer in UK and definitely dodgy.

Hash song sung by visitors from UK and co hare.