Hare : F3M & Community Chest
What an excellent hash it was…….. the HK-Holiday-Handover-No-Shag Run (See Down Down's) in the Valley of Happiness hared by Community Chest and FFFM….(assisted by 'senior jockey' Old Sock who was dragged out of the Jockey Club bar for a 'fun' evening of reccying with the 2 fillies just as he was enjoying a quiet vino to himself…)
Naturally I was late for the run….. well I would have been on time if the run had started where it 'normally' does inside the racecourse, which Catch of the Day and myself had worked out where it was to begin! but when I got there at 3.56, priding myself that I had a few minutes grace, there was no one to be found!
As it turned out I was in the wrong location of the racecourse… the run start was in the middle of the racecourse where the shower blocks were, as well as many luxurious footbaths, where at the end of the run we hot steaming hashers …..Old Sock, Priscilla, Irish Spew etc could lie like lizards with the hosepipe pouring over our over-heated bodies giving welcome relief after the 33 degree temp! Was I very thankful they had chosen that starting point!!! Well done hares for their foresight in ensuring there were many Happy Hashers…..!
After a very detailed briefing of the markings by Community Chest, with the information of 'we are now at Sea Level and do you know what that means' by FFFM?…… er…we would not be staying at Sea Level?? I could see that this info confused the group as the combined thought seemed to be…'Surprise us? When does LSW ever stay at Sea Level'?
And naturally with no surprises there we did go up……and down! But mostly up! UP!…and then mercifully down …and a long straight was thrown in there as well before we went down again! Yep…in summary that's about as much as my geographical knowledge knows about our run in the Valley of Happiness ……..Fortunately Old Sock has much more awareness of the exact locations …read below my following anecdote for his details! Thanks Old Sock….also for your GPS!
Indy's Run Anecdote …..So out of the Racecourse we went right …up and down many Happy streets … got to one check where Sweaty, having made a welcome return to LSW, went one way to search…. returned saying 'not there, but there are some strange markings'…. and after all the pack had regathered it was found that those 'strange markings' consisted of flour and directional chalk indicating that was the way! I wondered to myself whether Sweaty had indeed stayed away from LSW for too long or had just mistaken the flour for being cocaine and thought that was 'not the path to go down'!!!!
We then went up many steps to this wondrous park/building area in the Valley of Happiness where even Smallbone commented 'Wow! Excellent! Have not been here for eons!' Further along we went up again, this time up many steel steps…up ! up and up…….the fitness levels started to show at this point as I gave way to Retarded Buttfcuk and Catch of the Day to name a few…..! Onto a road section, then into the shiggy and the shady trails for the Rambos that provided mercy from the searing sun …Fabulous running sections there! Came across the FRB's running around high and low searching everywhere in a very tight trail section for the right path … .I said to Inflatad*ck 'what is going on? '….to which he replied ….'The FRB's are trying to solve the check!'…Hmmm I thought 'Was I put in my place…!!.' At that point Sweaty came crashing down from an uphill path to say it wasn't there…
After minutes of all searching everywhere for the illusive flour and with the pack regathering again, the trail was discovered by Priscilla and Quiche…. indeed going uphill with the flour placed very uphill! After that there was a lot of rock scrambling up…… and rock scrambling along a path…… Haggis the Horrible/Bobblemouth (see DD's), on the 3rd run of his Super Mission of 7 runs in 7 days, was finding the 3rd run a trifle taxing….. (or maybe he was conserving his energy for the next 4 days of trails!) so pulled aside on this trail section to wave me through….. Then we were on a catchwater section where Quiche and I ran in the drain and at the end came across a delightful 'waterfall' that we threw our punished bodies under and made us very Happy Hashers ……
Then down down and down……eventually coming onto a section of lovely old mossy paths and more steps…where the race with the FRB's continued…….. at that point Sweaty had the lead with Retarded Buttf*ck nipping at his heels, … but after a 'bad' check Sweaty was overtaken by not only RB, but also Inflatad*ck and Master W@nker……
Obviously the racing stakes became higher from then on, as on that mossy section RB lost his cap but with Sweaty now possibly nipping at his heels to try to win the Golden Chalice, he had no precious seconds to pick it up (to be picked up later by Chocolate Starfish who recognised it as belonging to her 'beloved'!) …. With the end in sight (well 5 minutes away!) Sweaty first galloped past Master W@nker,… and then Inflatad*ck…but could not match RB's lengthy stride and ultimately had to be Happy with 2nd place in the Cup Final……
While the FRB's were cooling off in the footbaths back at the racecourse, I was trotting along around Irish Spew and Old Sock….. but on the 'home straight' of the Plate Final the race became very competitive ……. as we got to the entrance of the racecourse sounds of galloping steps were heard and then with a rush of wind Priscilla flew past determined to show that he was no longer a spiritless horse to be reserved for kiddie's rides…… (as anecdoted in Piss Perfect's trash…..) In this race, Irish Spew's lengthy fetlocks could not compete and he also had to be Happy with 2nd place in the Plate Final…… As for me, I was Happy to be unchained from PP's Merry-Go-Round …..
And then those very welcome footbaths with those hosepipes to hose down the 'knackered nags'…….well done hares for an excellent 'race'….er run….in the Valley of Happiness!
Old Sock's Knowledgeable Run Report -
We started in the center of the Happy Valley race course, looking for red ribbons tied to trees -- not too tough, since there are only trees on the eastern end of the valley as the stands are on the west.
We hit the first check at the bottom of the Valley of Happiness Village -- it was devious as we could have gone up Blue Pool Road, Sing Woo Road, Shan Kwan Road, or Village Road. A red-faced Small Bone was already whining at this point because the distance to the next marking was a several blocks.
The trail turned out to be on Shan Kwan Road, which we followed towards the Jockey Club. However, we then veered through a couple of alleys passed a small park, and then went up under the Jockey Club.
The next check occurred at the intersection of Sing Woo Road and Blue Pool Road. The wisdom of the pack was to head up Blue Pool Road, which turned out to be wrong. The hares had found a delightful slopes maintenance trail up to Tai Hang Road. Nice waterfalls and shade, but there was a wasps' nest which the considerate hares marked.
The trail went into the ultra posh Jardine's Lookout area and then headed east onto Sir Cecil's Ride, a good running trail in the country park with lots of shade. At this point, we hit the split, with the Wimps sticking to Sir Cecil's, while the Rambos headed onto a shiggy trail, complete with metal spikes, spiders, and thorn bushes.
The shiggy trail continued to climb to Jar dine's' Lookout Catchwater, and headed north over some tricky footing on large boulders. Fantastic views.
The hares marched us down onto Mount Butler Road, through the Government Quarters, and by the service reservoir - squatting down through a hole in the fence the pack followed a trail down to Moorson Road, which we crossed, and then down a long set of stairs which dumped the pack on Tai Hang Road.
Finding a trail on the other side of Tai Hang, we went by the remnants of the Wesley Hostel, and the remnants of the old squatters' village on So Kon Po. The wily hares found a couple of openings in fences blocking off the area, which eventually lead us up one of our favorite paths from Hong Kong Stadium to Broadwood Road.
From there, it was a pretty straight route down Broadwood Road, to Link Road, and then into the Happy Valley Racecourse, and beer.
The Down Downs
…Thanks to all for your contributions to the circle which made it a great laugh!… apologies for missing any below…..
The Hares - Community Chest and FFFM.
The Hare's 'Senior Jockey/Advisor' - Old Sock who was manouevred out of his comfortable seat at the bar for an evening of 'fun' reccying with the fillies….
Dumped Co-Hares - Little Pair / Lost In Space / Quiche
Community Chest - Groveling to Quiche for dumping him with no notice as Lamma was just too far…
FFFM - for being selected as most able co-hare in the Valley of Happiness….
Amahs - Lost In Space / Virgin Mary
Returnees - Sweaty Snailgobbler / Sticky Sex Toy / Tiny Teepee / Chocolate Starfish / Catch of the Day / Little Pair
Visitors - Retarded Buttf*ck / Smallbone / Haggis the Horrible
Lost In Space - returning from holiday on the Isle of Capri….
Haggis The Horrible - has not been to LSW for 7 years since his 'bad' run then ….only now along as part of his Super Mission of 7 hash runs in 7 days …so now 7 Down Down's for the 7 years he stayed away from LSW……
Anyone do any other sport today before hashing? - Smallbone…..sun baking (the red face was not just from the run!), Retarded Buttf*ck / Chocolate Starfish/Catch of the Day….rock-climbing at 9 am on a Public Holiday, ANY shagging on a Public Holiday……. NONE! So this run was officially an LSW No-Shag-Run Day……
Bobbledick / Motormouth - any shagging from those 2?
Haggis - in a stroke of genius, Lost in Space recognised Haggis as being the spawn of Bobbledick / Motormouth! Hence a renaming suggestion by SSG of 'Bobblemouth'…… The RA of Free China Hash, Smallbone, did the christening……
SSG / Retarded Buttf*ck - racing on the hash……
Retarded Buttf*ck - so determined to come 1st that he left his cap on the trail ….
Chocolate Starfish - for picking up his cap…..
Inflatad*ck - When FFFM congratulated him on his time of 1 hour 10 and on coming in 4th, he corrected her with…'No! It was 1 hr 16 and I came 3rd!'
Bite&Suck - racing on the hash…..kind of! Beat Tiny Teepee and Lost In Space home…. (mind you she did short cut the wimps trail to do so……)
Community Chest - grandma trolley for transporting beer…turns out it was Old Sock's…
Community Chest - clear concise instructions for running/racing…. er…. hashing in HK!
FFFM - for reminding us that we were initially at Sea Level…… and then???
Catch of the Day - wearing a pearl necklace on the hash….
SSG - stuffing up checks….
Southsiders - Smallbone / Master W@nker / Bobblemouth / Inflatadick / Irish Spew [St. George] (in absentia) / Tiny Teepee?…and all others who had attended a Southside run…….
Inflatad*ick - complaining to FFFM about having SKOL in the beer bins….. "Do we have to pay to drink that sh*ite?"
Bite&Suck's DD to Master W@nker - wearing a Hash Shirt in commemoration of Wacko Jacko…apparently Michael 'Jacko' had indeed hared a run when taking time out from rehearsals…
Smallbone's DD to Sticky Sex Toy - enjoyed following her on trail in her cute skirt/shorts?…. er…. skorts?
Bobblemouth to Little Pair - changing into her little black evening dress for the circle…..