Hare : Tight Lips

The Run

Well unlike last week’s run where the heavens had opened and washed away poor Inflatadick’s ‘8 bag flour’ trail added to 3 hours of setting….., a fact he was still bemoaning on Wed night, there was not a drop of rain in sight…the trail was well-sighted with most hashers coming in within approx 5 mins of each other…….. Well done Tightlips…….!

But as Piss Perfect oft says, I am getting ahead of myself…… whatever that means…. <>

Naturally there were convos between Tightlips and myself during the week and at one point I did ask her about how the run setting was going! To which she replied, “Indy, work is full on at the moment, like for all of us working here in HK” she started to say… I digress here at this moment to add….. except for possibly the bankers and the unemployed and as we discovered at the ON ON that night with 17 in attendance, the numbers of unemployed LSW attendees added up to more than those employed! <>

At that point Strap On observed, “And I thought this was meant to be a yuppie hash!” Rich, I thought, coming from one who has led a jolly Tai Tai life of luxury since her arrival in HK ….. ’Thanks to Not Important’, she will occasionally venture when he happens to be in listening range! But as we also found out later that night this was to be their final LSW hash with Not Important now having joined the swelling gang of the unemployed….. And at that point, the heavens did open, (fortunately after the run so the trail was not in damage of being washed away!!) tears were shed, promises were made about future occasions to visit them in ‘their loveshack’ near the ski slopes in Australia…… where the tables will be turned with Strap On being the wage earner working on the ski slopes, and Not Important wearing the apron….. but who will be carrying that well-used whip now???…… and who will be wearing the Strap-On??? <>

So back to the hare….. Yes! Tightlips being one of the still gainfully employed on the LSW hash had had a busy week at work (architects obviously not being victims of the economic downturn?), …. so on Tuesday night stated, ‘No worries, Indy! All is in control for the run! I got the map out last night! I have done my architectural configurations……it will be about 7.35 kms and it will take the FRB’s about 52.5 mins! I have no time to take time off work, or to do a recce for that matter…… but my formula has worked in the past…. so she’ll be right mate!’ .And indeed it did work well ….. <>

So the actual run……. When I turned up at the run-site, there were already an impressive number of hashes there…… approx 25! It was an A – B run, so after all bags were safely disposed in her car (there is an advantage to living off HK Island, I noted with envy!) all were off! <>

The run started around the Hang Hau town environs, and at one point we went through a kiddies playground, (as opposed to a ‘child’s’ playground in Wanchai!) … where Tightlips put the arrows up/down the slippery slides…… very amusing! One of the 2 hashers who religiously followed that trail was Inflatadick, who as a pilot would take any chance to be a kid again, and then accused all around of short-cutting!…… the other hasher was Chatroom Pedophile, but no surprises there that he was ‘playing’ in the kiddies’ playground… waiting! watching!…….

At that point with Inflato and Chatroom playing with/by themselves, Any Dick’ll Do took the lead and being a ‘local’ was off on the scent! And then, led the pack along a long road section into the shiggy……. and then into the trails! …. and naturally steps, steps and more steps…. trail, trail and more trail……… Surprisingly for me, I did recognise familiar territory! We were on the same trail that Bubbleduck had started us on with his ‘famous’ run that is now in the LSW records…. the run being the 2nd longest ever, where, as I pointed out to Dr Evil on the run, he had come in with Nurse Fcuker in 3 hrs and 47 mins……… <>I was running around Old Sock at this time on TC’s trail, and whilst running OS did the calculations, as a banker would, of ‘If Tightlips trail is 52.5 mins and added to Bubbleduck’s last one of 3.47 minutes if you had them both together…say approx, 4 hrs 40mins and then divided by half……. both runs would still be ball busters……!!’ This is when I realized that bankers do have a lot of spare time these days if they need to do these calculations whilst trail blazing………. <>

So I continued on, leaving Old Sock, as he took off his running shoes to have toes as well as fingers to check that his calculations were correct!….. and then I hit more steps! I was later to be told that the steps we then ventured onto were the 10,000 steps to Hell!…or Health (depending on your outlook!)……. Anyway a few more checks, the front and back being turned around in circles, and then the On Home stretch , where as I said hashers came in in less than an hour, within minutes of each other and all were Happy Hashers!’… Well done Tightlips on setting such a great run, using your considerable expertise, a map and computer technology!

MAP COURTESY OF PLOD - WIMPS - ATATCHED.

The Down Downs

The Hare – great run…….

Inflatadick – sorry re last week’s, compared to this week’s dry one even though the On On was told to be fab in your ‘love shack’……..

Not Important – back at the run-site, showering in the alley in a drain, but holding onto a drainpipe/……. pole dancing?

Strap On Sally – also seen at a tap in the alley, but she was doing the male stance and looked like she was pissing into the drain……..

The Hare – great trail, set with …er map.. and latest technology….these architects have it all sussed!

Visitor – Strap on ….male from Canada/Thailand……..meet your family, Strap On Sally!………..Nick Leeson from Singapore

Returnees – Any Dick’ll Do/Piss Perfect…..

Nick Leeson… one of NF’s buddies from Seletar hash…. (and btw not from Barings bank fame!) is the run reporter on Seletar hash….. so gave us a detailed description of all aspects of the run…… the run/the checks/ the beginning area/ the On Home area/the food……. out of 5 he gave it a 5 beer value!…. yeh to TC……

Priscilla – Convo with SOS on way back around Hang Hau restaurant environs…… said Priscilla to SOS…’This is the restaurant where KGB took off her top on the Free China On On’…’No!’ says SOS adamantly … that was at a run in the far northern NT…. then 2 mins later Not Important strolls by and says… ’Hey this is the restaurant where KGB took her top off!’ Down Down to SOS….

Inflato – run last week at his place…great service and fully-catered-for BBQ by Yummy Mummy….(at hare’s expense!)… Inflato stays up till late drinking with the die-hard hashers…’No need to go to bed really… I am flying tomorrow!’……. he says he was drinking Lemon Tea……..

Priscilla – When asked about last week’s run, which he was on, says..…. ’Remind me! Where were we?’…..

Priscilla - Can only remember On On location when a girlie takes her top off!

Strap on – looking relaxed……. removalists were in 2 days before to cart all their stuff off to Bright, Aus….

The unemployed…. Well Not Important has just joined that gang but to drink with him were more than half the hashers present……. Strap On Sally, Strap On, Bubbleduck, Gunpowder Plop, Nurse Fcuker, Piss Perfect, Yummy Mummy, Nick Leeson…..….

Not Important – Hash bitch…….. volunteered, cause obviously after 3 days of being unemployed likes to have a job…. keeping his hands in in case he takes up bar-tending in Aus……

Any Dick’ll Do – responsible for the fact that John Doe was not there as she had named him at Free China…… Allergic To Pussy…

Bubbleduck – last time he set a run in that area 3 hrs 47 mins…….Nurse F deserves a beer…still recovering……..

The Hare – leading us up the steps to Health…..or Hell!

Gunpowder Plop – last seen at WH3 hash ‘en femme’ complete with stockings, suspenders and pink wig…….. Was he the ex-copper who was seen in the park by SCMP and fined for cross-dressing?

Hanna Montana/Any Dick’ll Do – Says I to ADWD ‘I did not realise for ages that Hanna Montana was Japanese……. says ADWD….’Indy. I can recognise them by their legs………’

With that it was all ‘males’ on the floor under the cover of a white sheet for blind-folded ADWD to feel the guys legs and tell us their nationality….when she came across NF… said he must be German, SOS jumped in also….she must be a woman with her strong legs, and as for Hanna…. must be a Canadian………… so much for feelings? Obviously ADWD is more visual………

Onto Ivy….. has run the hash 4 times…. all assembled wanted a naming!…….. we went through many alternatives after also finding out that she is a ‘fiddler’…..but finally…. I V was bestowed with Intropenis (Inflato’s suggestion!)……… SOS’s favourite was Ivabush………… don’t even go there…….!!!…. but linked to fiddling……

Yummy Mummy/Intrapenis- on the trails had been worried about ghosts…….

So then it was farewell to our great mates…Strap On Sally the Tai Tai,…having had 78% attendance over 3 years, and having done 125 runs of which she commendably hared 10, (Hopeless! Would her luminous tape on the Mt Stenhouse Anzac Day run ever be forgotten?) and …er …Not Important, the employed,…having done 34 runs of which he hared 4 of them….What to say about these stalwart, generous hashers?…… all assembled, in true hash style had a minute to give their own recollections about this great hash couple….. they will be sorely missed……….

And cause it was their farewell run…we stayed on…and on…..and on…..