This was to be the swansong, the "farewell and adieu", "friends, hashers, bystanders, lend me your ears" or even a "To be or not to be" the last ever Strap On Sally hare job in Hong Kong. (Oh and someone Not Important, but I forgot his name).
The evening was indeed to turn into a Shakespearean Tragedy with blood flowing as freely as a Macbeth plot but not as extreme as Edward The Second's curious fate which involved a red hot poker and his rectum!
As usual hashers trickled into the run start site in one's and two's. The Stagecoach Bankers having successfully defended their positions for another week strolled in John Wayne-like, brimming with confidence. Was our tragedy Fargo-style in it's nature? Read on with baited breath......
To add to the mix of "entertainment" themes for this run we had "Rumpole of The Bailey" - a visiting (retired) judge, Chuck Miller, complete with white hair, ruffled from all the Harley time he has put in since moving off the Seat of Abuse (sorry, "Power"). He was escorting his daughter who had the dubious honour of being the girlfriend of visitor/returnee Shut The Fcuk Up. Was "Ghost" about to be repeated and STFU the victim? Read on.
With the start clock edging 10 minutes over the alloted start time Cleo-SOS rounded up the crowd of Richard Burtons and Elizabeth Taylors to brief them and send her troops on their bloodthirsty way.....
Leading the pack down to the waterfront was "Indy of Arc", followed by Mark Anthony Hope(less) - his real name! First check was NOT going to Mount Davis steps as they discovered, which allowed Genghis-Inflato to pull ahead of the masses as he guessed correctly. A series of steps, catchwaters and subsequent shiggy saw General Patton Nurse Fcuker at the front for a brief while.
The next 20 minutes was like World War I and "The Battle of the Somme". Hashers were in and out of trails, broken paths, broken trees, vines and debris as we battled up the hill.
Suddenly the army off hashers started taking casualties. The run as becoming a Greek tragedy as Troy Peadophile was doing his best to break through the lines with Last Samurai Montana at his heels.
Firstly Genghis-Inflato takes "one on the noggin" - a viscious tree cutting a gash in his forhead.
Secondly, Colonel Custer Sock goes down, deep furrows in his forearm "I will take one for the team" he boldly yells, dusts himself off and carries on his merry way.
Then Indy of Arc, by now leading the pack to it's Waterloo, came to the W/R split. Which was marked by a sharp drop into a drain well, camoflaged by a deep layer of leaves. "Oh Bugger!" was the rallying call as she went over the top, and DOWN. And down again. Mark Anthony gallently stopped and shone his torch to check if Madam Arc was still available to be tied to a stake later, and yo! Up she gets, revealing a deep and dirty cut just under the knee cap.
But a mere flesh wound will not stop our heroine as she strode purposefully, painfully and determined, to further our Crusade.
As readers can see from the map, the trail finally came out past a substation and a long fast run down the road back to the home battlements. The Templers many were kept together by a long CB and a winding path that took us to a second W/R split at the roundabout on Victoria Road.
Further tragedy unfolded as 3 fellows of The Light Brigade charged forward without due attention and missed the split. Samurai, Troy and Ned "Bolger" Kelly, chest beating one another with teeth bared turned right. In their defense Cleo-SOS hadn't told her troops there were TWO splits!
So Genghis and Mark Anthony forged ahead having put some daylight between themselves and the slowing Brigade. But, the next check saw their reconoiter go wrong as they had to go back down to the Check, to be met by Madam Arc, and a surprise infantryman in the form of Rommel Bondi! Rommel headed to the beach but "Gina Lyn" Erica (look her up on Google) found the yellow brick road back up the hill to West Island School.
More lack of leadership ensued - Arc and Genghis pulling the pack towards the Cemetary while Mark Anthony went straight over the road to find the flour up the shiggy path back up to Mount Davis Road, and then basically on home from near the hospital down to the finish at Fort Von Lanthem.
Casualty count quite high for this maurandering group of soldiers. Blood was washed off, wounds were dressed, but........
Our Lady of the Arc, once washed saw the gash was a little bit more than a flesh wound. Fidel Castrato whisked her away to a local clinic where they advised the alcohol already in her blodd had already sterilised the wound! After a brief stop back at the Chinese restauarant for some food, Ms Arc went to the hospital, returning home, not via OCH, with 4 stitches for her troubles! "First injury in 30 years of hashing" bemoaned InjyAnus. "If I knew I was running past the bl00dy hospital I would have called in!".
Field hospitals on hash campains are for Wimps!
On on to the Down Downs by Marcus Hopelessness, aided by Monty.
The Hares - great run, high casualty count
Bobbledick - as late to the start as ever
Judge Chuck - dropping everything before the run; camera, torch
Hash Crash - Indy
Washing Service - Bite n Suck, left her "smalls" on Indys floor
Inflato _ gay rugby jersey
Castrato - gay yellow running top
Not Important - wants to go to the gay hash
Bondi Barbie - drinking 40 hash beers in less than a week instead of returning them
STFU - returnee
Indy - for naming STFU
Priscilla - not an lsw beer condom
Failing unemployed hares that are too busy - Nurse Fcuker and Bobbledick
Judge Chuck - likes oranges up the bottom while riding his Harley
Sam - visitor, with Dad, Judge Chuck
Anniversaries - 50 Nurse Fcuker 75 Priscilla
Priscilla - insisting on kissing Yummy Mummy twice
The Hares - fond farewell on their last hare job in HK
The Song - the hares and anniversaries