Hared by Chatroom Paedophile & Ivana Nu Kok?

We ran out of the Sham Shi Po stadium and onto the first check, where we spent 20 minutes in total confusion. Master W*nker has been blamed for this, as he called the correct trail a false trail. Eventually Strap On phoned the Hares for directions and was told to, “Head towards MacDonald’s and onto the next check at the end of the street”. Unfortunately there were 2 MacDonald’s! Bite & Suck then took control of directions and we were eventually heading towards the other MacDonald’s and the So Uk housing development.

However, Piss Perfect, Hopeless and Inflate a Date found the correct trail and were well up in the hills before we even got out of town. The markings were very clear and the front-runners had marked off all the checks, however Indy was having a real problem with the idea, that most of the markings would be on a vertical surface. So at every check and arrow, she would run the opposite direction. (Maybe her contacts were in back to front or left to right.) Nurse Fu*ker also had a problem seeing where he was going and while star gazing he fell in a drainage hole! Unfortunately for him no one noticed.

We then headed towards Eagles Nest on a stairway, which was never ending. Eventually at the top was the Wimp/Rambo split. The Wimps went west to the MacLehose trail, while the Rambos followed a shiggy trail over the hill to connect with the MacLehose trail on the other side. After about 10 minutes into the Rambo climb, we spotted a torchlight flashing through the bushes. It was Piss Perfect, he claimed that he had been wandering around for 15 minutes and at that point was about to give up and back track out, if only he could find the way! (That’s what you get for not calling loudly enough at the first check and losing the rest of the pack!) Chatroom admitted to me later that he had gotten lost himself in that spot, which was obvious by the markings. Once at the top of the hill, Master W*nker struck again. This time he wanted to take us off in the wrong direction after seeing a pile of small stones. He claimed he was an expert in reading the Runes and that the pile of stones was an arrow. Wisely we all inspected them and agreed that they were just a pile of stones! Once off the hill we were now on the MacLehose and been running for a while when encountered another light coming towards us. This time it was Nurse Fu*ker, who was running around lost. Once he had managed to drag himself out of the drain, Bobble Duck suggested he knew a short cut and to follow him. But then Bobble Duck pissed Nurse Fu*ker off for the company of Barge Pole and they proceeded to take 3 hours to finish the run. Mmmme..... It was then down some more steps to the highway, on over and then on home.

Down Down’s delivered by Indy

Chatroom & Ivana Nu Kok – unemployed and plenty of time to lay runs. Joined by the rest of the unemployed Piss Perfect, Catch of the Day & Bobble Duck.

Inflate-a-date – finding the trail and not calling.

Master W*nker – ran the correct way, but said it was a false trail.

Strap On Sally – using her phone for directions in the first 15 minutes.

Chatroom – giving directions to MacDonald’s- but which one?

Randy Von Fu*ker - never goes back to mark the check.

Gary Glitter & Nurse Fu*ker ran their little legs off at the first check.

Piss Perfect- Found the first check, but didn’t call (loud enough) then spent 20 minutes lost in the shiggy. Once found got lost again with Catch of the Day and walked back to join the Wimps.

Bite & Suck – had had enough by the time she got to the stairs and turned back. Said she’d run enough looking for the correct MacDonald’s.

Barge Pole - Always gets lost and comes in last.

The Hares - With the recession didn’t use enough flour.

Strap On – Wouldn’t follow Indy because she couldn’t see at eye level.

Nurse Fu*ker & Buttfan - Don’t know.. Possibly because they are the same height.

Returnees - Franz, Catch of the Day & Piss Perfect.

Franz – impolite, didn’t introduce his friend Wannas (I’m not sure of spelling)

Franz - wanting to collect the bones

Bobble Duck - dumped Nurse Fu*ker for a female by sending him the wrong way.

Indy, Strap On & Macau Drunk - finding Nurse Fu*ker lost, then fu*ked off and left him.

Any Fanny & Randy- comparing size. But Bobble Duck has the biggest according to barge pole.

Piss Perfect - ran in cricket whites

Barge Pole - on seeing Master W*nker changed after the run, asked if he’d run in his work clothes.

Yummy Mummy - wasn’t a non-runner, she came to help

Strap On & Buttfaan for preening each other.

Bobble Duck - for the Mt Butler race