The Run

Nobody likes a smart@rse, especially when a Hare, as two of the Hashers sat there musing, "Well, is he going round clockwise or anti-clockwise of the standard route?". Well, "Yah, Boo, Sucks!" - Old Sock confounded those thoughts with an excellent run over new trails, away from the Pagoda route (mostly), and tarnished only by having a check at the top of the hill that (a) came back on itself, (b) allowed Inflato a 10 minute head start as he'd taken the "right option" which avoided the loop.

A day of cold, rain, mist should have kept a lot of runners away but a good sized pack turned up, ready for a slightly delayed start due to the journey out on the Tung Chung MTR line. The first check was a picture of chaos as Master W@nker, Bondi Barbie and Castrato missed the rain soaked "T" at the top of the steps. Returning back to the check which was, by then, marked, allowed the back markers to catch up as a series of turns through playgrounds led to a long set of steps up into the wilderness.

A set of CBs brought the pack together again before another uphill section past gravestones and onto another CB and a long contour path in shiggy that went along, up, and up, and then a long slippery downhill and new section of shiggy back to the main road where the Wimps rejoined the Rambos.

Across 6 lanes of traffic on Tsing Yi Road and concrete steps onto shiggy steps and up again………

The Rambos then enjoyed a rough shiggy contour that ended up back on the concrete path and a fast downhill that led to THAT Check. If you went left as Hopeless and Master W@nker did, the Check led to an ON ON at the top of the hill on a little plateau that (finally) led to a downhill trail which was suspiciously close to the way up. Torches and voices of Brazilian Buttslap and Mr. Happy Slippers could be heard through the bushes and "LO!" suddenly back to the same Check, with, on a post just before it, marking "ON ON" left. i.e. if you'd gone right in the first place, the ON ON was 300 yards down the steps.

Then it was a fast run down the concrete steps to the (suspected "usual trail") exit around the Mount Haven residential complex. Back across the 6 lane highway to the back of Tsing Yi and confusion in the car park and loading bay of one of the shopping centres before finding the "On Home" by the park for a 500m sprint to the finish.

All in all a good trail, obviously well recce'd, well done to The Sock!

The food was at The Jade Garden, food ordered courtesy of Butt Fan and Gary Glitter as the Hare was stuck waiting for the late comers. Down Downs - administered by Hopeless and Indy Anus

The Hare: for turning up for only the second time this year to the On-On…'Onoured with his presence.

Castrato: was rushing to get dressed in time but put his hash shirt on inside out (clearly missing his mother)

Returnees: Priscilla - on holiday with his wife and child in Australia and Happy Slippers, staying at home with wife and children, getting fat.

VERY LATE latecomers: Motormouth and friends: Cassandra and Margaret Chen from Beijing (wearing pretty little (totally inappropriate) court shoes.

Master Wanker: wearing the KOTH's yellow and black shirt…wondering why the others were yellow only …realised his was 2008/09 and theirs 2006/07.

Hash Babes: creating a new "lesser" hash on Saturday.

Gary Glitter: wearing his works basketball XXL shirt and XXL long shorts, advertising his Philippine company and with "Manager" written on the back...not fooling anyone!

Non Runner: Bite and Suck - missed the bus/took the wrong bus /couldn't find the trail and Non Eater: Bite and Suck - didn't want sticky rice…didn't have fried egg.

Old Sock: (having to drink out of a specially designed Hare glass) not organising food, passing the responsibility to poor Buttfan…who was delighted as she could order as much veggy food as she liked.

F3M: being very sad and organising the run on her actual birthday.

Happy Slipper: Welsh ignorance, thought St David's Day was on 30th March (actually 1st March).

Priscilla: not only drinking his own beer in the restaurant but using a Links Relocation beer condom…said beer condom thrown in the bin and new LSW one provided. Priscilla then complained that the bottom fell out…not his bottom but the condom bottom…beer condom not a real condom, but then that may be the reason he has a lovely daughter.

Dr Evil: abandoned again by Hicky Slut and Vitel.

Bobbleduck: letting out a loud quack when he heard the cost of the on-on was going to be $125!

Motormouth: wearing the same Hash shirt 3 times in 3 runs…says she doesn't sweat when running and funnily enough no one contradicted her.

Indy's circle

Mr Happy Slippers: has an elephant's memory stick - still remembers Indy pushing him off the side of a cliff or something like that when she passed him on a hash run.

Priscillan: Indy Anus rang him last week, didn't realise he was on the long and beautiful Ocean Road, Australia. She asked him if he was alright because of the bush fires…"Bush Fires?" he replies "What bush fires?"

Yummy Mummy: belly slapping extraordinaire …see the evidence from the photos of the lesser hash write up!

Gary Glitter: will make someone a lovely husband one day, making sure Indyanus has enough to eat and drink putting food in her bowl and beer in her glass.

FFFM: cynical as ever, said that the beer in her glass was probably laced with date rape.

Inflatadate: KOTHs winner for this year asking if anyone was going to the award ceremony so they could watch him collect his trophy (porcelain mug)

Castrato: cold, calm and collected now that the two women in his life have separated. Loves his wife and his mum but not together.

Inflatadate: words of wisdom…"if you can sail it, fly it or f**k then rent it!"

And we sang the song!