Hang Hau Holiday Run
Run 1645 was held on HK Independence Day and touted as a Family Day Run……. set by no other than our Hopeless, who seems to be setting out for the Guinness Book Of Records for setting the most runs in the shortest period of time……and if I may be so bold to add, it ain't just on LSW……. his track record on WH3, SKS3 and his very own Friday hash have also seen him add a few runs to the LSW statistics……..
So on Run number 1645, Hopeless set out to set his 63rd run for LSW….. with himself having attended 527 runs…. that is about one LSW run every 8 weeks, and as previously mentioned when the other hash stats are included he must set oh….. er….. one run every 2 weeks…….. how does he get time to work we all wonder?
Well truth to tell even Hopeless needs a rest at times….. to get away from the HK Hash demands where there is a hash Sat and Sun this weekend… so rumour has it he is off to get some R&R and enjoy the 4 days away from the HK hash scene…… but not for him lazing around the beaches or checking out temples……. no! where else would he go?… except to KL… to the heart of Hash territory where it all began….. wonder if he will manage to set a run there in his 4 days 'off'……. or whether other priorities will dictate otherwise?????……. to be continued in next week's newsletter…….
So back to the Family Day run…….. set by the guru himself it had to be a good one…… with 42 runners turning up to Hang Hau sitting out area in anticipation of such! The man himself had even set 3 trails to accommodate all hashers…… Besides the Wimps and 2 rambo sections to test the likes of Sweaty, there was the added run for the families/horrors especially set for Randy Von F who had told Hopeless he would be turning up with his young ones……
But unfortunately that trail was a wasted effort…. oh yes there were children…. Mr Happy Slippers had dragged his 'horror', Silas, along to initiate him to the rituals of hashing at the impressionable age of 7 (hoping to scare him away for life maybe?), but no family trail for them…… they went off with the big boys….. whilst Randy obviously decided against corrupting his and never appeared……
I remember Irish Spew had brought his family along to a Family Day Run about 2 years ago, set by Fanny Sniffer, where Mrs Spew had to manoeuvre the pram over very rough trails and made a good job of it!….. but whilst Spew attended this year's family event, there was no Spew family …….. maybe hashing has got the better of him the longer he hashes in HK….. or China?… and thinks 'he' is no longer 'suitable for family viewing'………
Actually, now that I reflect on the Family Day attendees, and the significance of such an occasion……. I remember there were no LSW 'families' present en masse….. (except for Mr Happy Slippers with his son! The only family that did represent the 'spirit' of the day was a LSW returnee, Swimsuit, there with hubby and daughters…… she's an old mate of Hopeless' et al, and there are a few stories circulating about that era that were not really fit for 'family entertainment'!……..
Oh yes the run!…… Having been given the definitive instructions re the markings, the pack was off from an open check, and having found flour ran like wounded buffalos in that direction convinced they were 'On'…. cause our hare had said 'from an open check if you find flour you are on'…… Hmmm….. so you can imagine how the pack got a little confused on that one when they hit a T!!….
'Our fearless leader is never wrong'…… The flock scratched their heads in bewilderment having lost their anchor, but finally turned around and ran back to the open check to see a smug Hopeless sitting their enjoying his little prank… whilst the pack raised fists in his direction…... Back to remarking school?
Dr Evil got decidely confused on that one….. having run with LSW for over 2 years he still thinks a T is a CB so on the way back to the open check was off up steps in search of the illusive flour……. as Hicky Slut waited at the bottom of the steps in case it was magically discovered…… that's 3 for this week's Remedial Marking Retraining…..
So off we went in the other direction, where Smallbone had originally gone checking but unfortunately for us did not get to the first markings before the false trail was called……
The run description is courtesy of Macau Drunk who always seems to have an idea of where he is as opposed to this scribe……
'The run led us zigzagging up the concrete slope maintenance area, and then off-piste and up through the hillside graves, which in a week's time will be all ablaze in the biannual arsonfest, the first W/R split was at the moonscape, Rambos then looped round the quarry and rejoined the Wimps at the reservoir, along the shiggy into O Pui village for split no 2, into the hills again and along Junk High Peak Country Trail?, popped into Clearwater Bay Rd, left off the road through a couple more villages before hitting the On Home along Tin Chau Rd. 8km on the clock; 1 hr for Senor Sweaty'
Couple of vivid memories I have is the quarry with lots of slippery stone and shaky foot bits, (avalanche territory) and a stack of real shiggy that as was noted could only be circumvented in the daylight! I was amazed how Hopeless had managed to find such testing territory on his GPS!
The overall consensus was 'a great run' with something for everybody…. but sadly that 'Family Path' is still a virginal trail…….
DD's by this weeks' scribe…. In a break from tradition, the DD's were in circle style before the on-site curries, which only had one little problem…. As hunger overtook one of the hashers, there was a premature run for the food before the circle had closed and some other sheep followed, so unfortunately some of the DD's below were not delivered….. but you can read them if you have nothing better to do!
The Hare…… Hopeless….. Excellent Family Day Runs……
The Hare….. Hopeless……. gave 'false' trail instructions….. 'Open Checks. First flour you are on' …… NOT……. still controversy over the markings
Smallbone - checked correct direction - unfortunately not fast enough
Dr. Evil/Hickey Slut….. didn't listen to false 'instructions' and started behaving like they were on a CB after seeing a T
Family Day Visitors - Jo Hall/Smallbone/James Barnett & Mei Lin/Lesbian Buttslap/Amy 'Head Nurse' Chamberlain
June 'Swimsuit' Trevison (returnee) with hubby, Richard, Francesca & Daniella Wood (virgins) - the only family 'en masse' at the Family Day Run
Mr Happy Slippers and son, Silas - LSW Family Day representatives
Honorable Hashers? - saw markings for going forward when checking but went back to where the pack had called…. Quiche & Sweaty
Irish Spew + Chatroom - Qing Dao chunder episode revisited…..first time they had been reunited since that descriptive episode….
Gunpowder Plod - another chunder victim….. broke his leg slipping on his own vomit…… later corrected to be on his dog's vomit!
Hopeless - overheard explaining to a visitor…… 'Name is Hope but I am Hopeless at many things……' - humble pie??….. What had he been drinking? Or thinking?
Amah Moron - shortcutting just a tad at the quarry…… avoided the stony hill by going around it….
Bravefart - not releasing control as Hash Cash…. Have B&S and BF struck a deal?
Macau Drunk - this time bringing talcum powder on the hash….. from the Mandarin no less!
Hopeless - has created own hash hat… with iron on patches!
FFFM - Hopeless even repairs splits in her shorts by sewing on Hash patches!
Irish Spew - Kai Tak Rules….. no stories should be repeated from tours…
Kish - Kai Tak no longer exists……
Smallbone/Hicky Slut - Smallbone going up steps behind Hicky Slut says to her….. 'nice view'….. HS replies "I have a nicer one'…… she is behind Spew……
Happy Slippers - wearing Japan Trailwalker T-shirt even tho only a sponsor…
Dr Evi/Chatroom - comparing sizes before the hash….
Gunpowder Plod - sitting down, broken foot up, talking to Sweaty about how he admires the entrepreneurial spirit of the can collectors, 2 cents a can,…. Sweaty notes the Plod could be more helpful then by crunching the cans with his caste like a manufacturing line……. Sweaty's impersonation was worth watching…. !
Comes with Cockney - hash shirt has Melamine markings on it, but we already have a Melamine Girl….. Vittel was named that last week!
Hopeless - all his arrow markings on the run had a 'golf slice' to them so all hashers kept on veering right….
Bite & Suck/Strap On/Hicky Slut - lathering up in Hang Hau main streets in public together, but B&S the only one to change in public…. the others wanted to go somewhere more private….. (like the open playground!)
Head Nurse - 'Desperate' on arrival at the Hang Hau playground… so had to go back to near the MTR where she had just come from to find the closest 'facility' and then was late for the run…….
Irish Spew - from one extreme to the other…….. gets wasted at Qingdao with little exercise, back in HK in one day a 100km bike ride, then hash and no drinking……?
Non - Runner Gunpowder
Hopeless - presented with a birthday cake as getting older the following day……..
ON ON was ON SITE… with a delicious curry from Shaffi's…… after which a few die hards had a few more beers enjoying the ambience in the park…… can't remember if we did get to OCH for the usual arguments …….