Run 1575 - Wednesday 6th June, 7pm

Cornwall St. Children’s Playground

Report by Bite’n’Suck instead of FFFM……….not sure how this happened really…….

Being hared by Dr Doom, where else would the run be set but in Kowloon Tong? Arriving pretty much on time, I was met only by the Parkies but Lost in Space and the hare turned up bearing gifts (well, water and drinks). The trickling in of runners who are clearly not used to making their way to the "Dark Side’ for a Wednesday run, made for a run start around 7.20. The forgetfulness of Indy in bringing the ALL important plastic bags for chilling drinks led to a display of resourcefulness on the part of Hopeless (clearly not always hopeless) and Parky in dismantling the nearby bin. Boy Scouts in a previous life? So, the ALL important chore of chilling drinks for later was completed and the first misdemeanour of the hare was discovered…. NO DIET COKE………

Instructions for the run showed a clear departure from LSW markings… and some confusing instruction about a check that might or might not be still in place…… second misdemeanour…. but we’re a tough hash and can read any trail a Southsider can lay.

Hmm, now, the run……….. left out the playground, up roads, down alleys, some sneaky little misleading arrows which kept the pack together for a while………. I know this is happening when Indy and Sweaty pass me a few times……….. everyone was stumped at 1 alley where a checkback caused confusion and various groups checking trails were separated………. on further until an on-over took us to the temple……. and then up stairs………. and more stairs…………. At this point I assessed the situation of heat, stairs, altitude, stairs, heat……… made an executive decision and took myself down the stairs and took my own path around the area for another 40 minutes or so before weaving my way back to the beer…. (having bought a diet coke on the way).

Having shortcut, I was amazed to find Parky back before me…. also a short cutter….. and Park’n’Shop and Lost in Space in only another 5 minutes after that….. looking sheepish as they had caught a cab back! Now, for those of you who don’t recognize the run from my description here’s another by a Rambo runner……………

We started on Cornwall Street and ran around all the Love Hotels of Kowloon Tong, ending up out in the (appropriately) abattoir (meat market, like what you get or plan for in aforesaid hotels) near Shek Kip Mei. Then headed past Cheung Sha Wan before heading up to Crow's Nest and Eagle's Nest hills. Two major ups and downs which saw a few casualties duck out......

Parky to Shergar at the Temple steps - "Boylers how far are you going before you turn back?" (Called an "Assumptive Close").

Shergar to Parky "Very bl--dy soon, I've had enough of this ridiculous run with poorly marked checks or junctions" (Called an "Affirmative Close").

Indy was seen to push past on several occasions as we ran up and down and around the "Nests" only to (as with Sweaty) reappear soon afterwards as those runners with a keener eyesight at a slower pace saw the real markings and headed off in the right direction.

After the first part of the run being through alleyways and smog, the hill running provided smog and saturation levels of humidity. People wilted especially as we broke off Tai Po Road and ended running the almost 1 mile home along the 8 lane expressway that runs just below Lion Rock. No "on home" but the mile long slog/smog added carbon levels well above safety levels to all hashers who didn't turn back at the Temple after "seeing the light" that guided them to a short run as opposed to the 90 minute Doomed run it ended up to be. A rude return for "Mr. Happy Slippers" on his return from Tokyo after a year's sabbatical away from LSWH3 and the HK weather.

Thanks to Hopeless……….. now being hopeless in Singapore…………

On to the On-on with about 20 runners, having lost a few along the way due to heat exhaustion, prior engagements etc etc

On to the King’s Arms; well, no, that was closed for renovations (very inconsiderate of them but it still counts as misdemeanour 3) so we were (sort of) booked into the Lion Rock Bistro; where we discovered no meal had been ordered or downdown beers organized (misdemeanours 4&5)

Down–downs - eventually, after we had lost 1 or 2 more souls who muttered about being on the Dark Side and how long it would take to get home - by Sweaty….

The Hare where is he? On the phone……… (misdemeanour 6) the run….. too long, too hot, too polluted………….. BUT having only done 2 runs with LSW his haring/run rate is now 50%

IndyAnus - a NET not a maths teacher thought it was 100% rate

W3 G.M - for calling A W3 hash to order as LSW run no…..?.

Macau Drunk - being vitriolic……. presumably about the run?

Piss Perfect - pissed off- Rizwan ‘who knows where he is’? Must be restrained by Carissa for last week’s sperm count…

Dr Evil - 1hr 15 mins - Sprinting like a demon home to Beat Sweaty - NO racing on the hash, please!

Indy Anus - hash crash Flying dive trying to compete for first place also

Winnebago, Brazilian Buttslap and Gin and Vomit - Fashion on the Hash

Boilers – sms’ing on his new chuck-berry - charging by the 10 minutes as only lawyers can do

Lost in Space - for volunteering to help with the beer

Lost in Space - boring us with details of his USD153m Boeing 787 Dreamliner

Winnebago - For being smart enough to organize a day off following LSW run on the Dark Side

Brazilian Buttslap - efficiency with the WH3 Trash and not using company time to write it

Dr Doom - inefficiency with the WH3 Trash - too slow, getting his secretary to do his work for him, but pictures too large for file

Castrato – having a handy set of pliers to open the urban services tap for showers

Indy Anus - Chardonnay down downs, beer down downs, alcohol free cider down downs

Strap-on Sally - for being anxious about an English test for an upcoming interview - ‘I need my spell check’

Next run 1576 – Wednesday 13^th June, 7pm

A to A from the VRC (Victoria Recreation Club) Deep Water Bay (In Chinese: Sam Soy Wan), opposite the HK Golf Club.

260, 6X buses from Central, 40 mini bus from Causeway Bay, 973 from Pokfulam and 73 or 52 (mini bus) from Aberdeen

Don't forget it's Happy Valley race night so take this into account when travelling.

Short run (promised!) but maybe a wet one!

Bring a towel for luxury showers afterwards.

Hare - Felch Monster 9168-0469