Nat's last run - Repulse Bay to Stanley then Po Toi on on

Hare - Big Bitch

Dawn breaks in the easy-life suburbs of the underemployed in Shatin, a bleary eyed ‘soon to be former’ LSW hasher struggles to open his bloodshot eyes. What the f***!…… Oh my head! ….. What the hell is this?…. As he tentatively removes a…….. ‘smeared by red paint’ white safety helmet????….. Gently massaging his forehead. It is only then he notices the blackness of his hands, of his bed sheets, of his face! Of his….. Darling!…… What the hell did we do last night? ‘Uuurghh’ looking up from her book she stares blankly at him wearing a sparkling Christmas hat, chocolate smeared lips, and a melting chocolate…….????? "Bloody hell darling!.…. Where on Earth did you get that?….…... He then discovers the strange character on his new white LSW hash T-shirt. Wonder who the hell this little black fellow’s supposed to be?……. Then ponders why the hell is she reading a book about ‘A Man in UAE’…… What the f*** does that have to do with Dubai?

The said ‘soon to be former’ LSW hasher then wanders around the bedroom, not sure what the hell has gone on! Scratches his arse! (You see Jo you’re not alone)……. Bloody hell I’m thirsty! Grabbing the half empty bottle of Bonaqua on his bedside table, he pours it into a nearby shiny ‘didn’t make 200’ labeled silver goblet. Glug! Glug!…… Ssssspiiittttt!…….. Shit Vodka!…. As his memory makes an instant recovery!……… Bloody Indyanus!…. Bitch!

On the other side of the city, a blonde female LSW hasher awakens, head still spinning! Wondering what the hell is that black gooey shit under her finger nails!…… And who the hell is this character on my bloody hash T-shirt!…….. Strewth I feel thirsty, as she grabs her ‘specially prepared 40% proof’ Bonaqua water!……… Ssssssspiitttt……. Shit water!….. Bloody Marmalade Head……. Bastard!…. As her memory also miraculously returns.

Slowly the events are coming back to a now panicking Marmalade Head in suburbian Shatin! As he picks up red spray-painted water bottles, empty cans, rocks and the remains of a bonfire from his once organized bedroom/ living room/ bathroom floors, he then gazes at the ceiling in despair as he sees further markings!……. It is only then that he actually realizes that last night he had a dress rehearsal for haring his first Dubai hash……… setting an A to bedroom! Then suddenly he remembers his ‘beloved’ retiring with her Willy Wonka sponsored chocolate trophy! And….. of course his own Indy prescribed…. 'Fit in with the locals'…… black boot polish.

It’s all coming back now.……. A specially designed T-Shirt… Yes so that’s where Marmalade Head came from, some bloody Robinsons Jam Golliwog……. Bloody Big Bitch!….. Wait a minute!..... That Bloody Indyanus! As he remembers the down downs, yes the Dubai hashers survival kit, spray paint, straws, the carrying of alcohol in innocent Bonaqua like vessels. The chocolate Willy Wonka dick, the books, the idiot proof…… ‘but not so sure about Marmalade Head’ Arabic dictionary. The wood for the bonfire!…… The Christmas hat for a quick exit!….. The saucepan for cooking his hash meals!……. What was that recipe again!….. Bloody Indyanus!…… Did she give me one?…… She did promise me the bloody bitch!!!!

The final fragments of the night are now emerging from the blur, Big Bitch my favourite hare….. where did we go again?……. Repulse Bay, via Chung Hum Kok road with a final look at the water to St Stephens Stanley and a funky Shergar boat trip. And of course all those LSW Arabs for the excellent Po Toi on on. Hey last night I was first back?…… Of course I was….. hey it’s my memory…. so f*** you The Bastard and SSG!

As he now casts his mind forward……… Well on on I suppose to all that bloody sand!….. Well at least my first run will be around the Burj Al Arab….. Of course I’ll invite LSW!….. Such a shame though it has too many stars for the cheap bastards!

Down Downs by none other than the Snail...aka Bruce...

Marmalade Head and Bombay Wet Dreams.... Their 'On Home' run (I can never understand why you guys call it an On Home run when they are leaving home!!!....) Nat the Stat's final run but he cannot reach No. 200! A big commissary DD for BWD as she has to live with him after leaving LSW!!!

Marmalade Head..... After 192 runs and a T-shirt he finally gets his real Hash name.... "You mean I am a 'Little Black Guy with Curly Hair!!".

Big Bitch... The hare... setting an easy run with Hash Cash designing a politically incorrect T shirt…….. far too much white on it!!!

Shergar... Admits he has suffered from Amnesia once... or was that twice.. he can't remember...but at least he remembered the boat? What boat? Shergar... invites newbie to the LSW boat trip, but after 45 mins of strutting around like an expectant father, waiting for the lost hasher's appearance, he says "Let's ditch the Bitch!"

Michelle (the lost hasher).... Having coffee at Pacific Coffee whilst searching the Internet to look for help.... errrr.... ever heard of following flour????

Willy Wonka.... Organises a chocolate Dick for this week.... but not for The Little Black Guy with Curly Hair,... for Hash Cash and Big Bitch, to 'rejuvenate' them! (What does WW know that we don't???)... Hash Cash hopes it's a soft one! (Strange people these LSW hashers!!!)

Mr Happy Slippers.... the eternal optimist... asks for a medium T shirt, very soon upgraded to a Large!

Danamyte and The Bastard.... Organising the photos before the Wedding... desperately seeking a photographer with a 3-day-Money-Back-Guarantee...

Rearender.... Finally got the fake passport to work here... Welcome back from LSW.... in case Shergar forgets......???

Tightclit... For bringing 2 dogs, 1 with its head up the other one's arse!

Buttfann.... Taking her dog outside for the first time ever...gets bitten by another dog 3 times before it reaches the street... obviously the other dog was terrified by all the cotton wool Buttfann had wrapped it in!!!

Talking about animals.... Marmalade Head...the first time he did one of SSG's runs.... he got so drunk, ran out into the street and threw up all over a cat.... and says "SSG, are you serving Furry Fish in your restaurant...Fuck me it's still alive!!!"

Speaking of Dubai.... Some LSW's have spent some time there....Kamikaze for example.... his drinking was good, but the driving was not!!!! zero limit remember!!

Scratch My Arse.... As concerned hasher, after the run, brings a bag over that doesn't appear to belong to anyone.... and promptly drops the bag in the only puddle at St Stephen's pier!!!

Macau Drunk.... finally attends an LSW ON ON wearing a Hash T shirt!

Miranda... So jealous of MH's leaving do that she wants one herself! And Cheesy King.... will be the front runner on that run!....... 2025!!!!!

Luis.... listened to SSG's bullshit that he was going to get named this week!! Sucker!!!!

Godiva Highway.... Pretending to be Camera Shy....we've all seen those Internet piccies....

Indy..... for providing tonight's inspiration,..... but can you please keep covered up and 3 metres behind.... always!!!!

Tight Lips... most people have flashbacks to traumatic moments....she has flashbacks to horizon TV programmes....

Strap a dick to me... Finally publishing her PHD... & Posh Twit.... For providing her with the relevant data.... (Wonder what that was????)

Winnabago..... Officially 'On Call'! Has to go to QM Hospital in 30 minutes..... Good to see she has her priorities right!!!!

And finally a Post Hash DD to The Snail..... we all remember him faffing around the whole trip back in the boat looking for his shorts as he had left them on the table downstairs and not there....... trying to find who was the thief!!! Later at a bar in Wanchai he looks in his bag and what does he find???? How many DD's did you give Shergar for memory loss??? or can't you remember?????......

The highlight of course was the fantastic belly dancing show starring Scratch My Arse, Winnabago, Tight Lips and Co. Bringing us to the dock and a tearful farewell to the desert Nats…. But really Hash Cash….. you must try to keep your emotions in check.

This has been a joint SSG & Bloody Indyanus production…… via several Carslbergs & a specially prepared Bonaqua!…… Watch out for the movie!

Marmalade Head Leonardo … with some boot polish and a shaved head…

Indy Sharon... with a few gelotology instructions….

SSG Bruce…. with a confused Scottish/ French accent…..

Big Bitch Julie….. the hills are alive with the sound of.......

Shergar Anybody will do!…. Let’s face it!…….. He won’t remember!

Scratch my Arse Catherine Zeta….. just for those belly dancing scenes

Hash Cash Billy…….. Get right intae him ya Bassa…….

Directed by The Bastard, stupid stunts (as usual) by kamikaze, and original soundtrack by the LSW choir………. So anybody else fancy leaving us then?