LSW 1425 Wednesday 25th August 2004


Tsing Yi

The last edition of the LSW News inadvertently summed up what is wrong with LSW…… we do not take Hashing seriously enough!

For God's sake Wednesday night is not just a bit of fun…it's a serious matter!… which case I am thinking Hashing should be an Olympic event.

Hashing has got it all, for a start it's serious. Not like some of the "Noddy" games we saw in Athens. Who can take it seriously when you have for example; ping pong, women's soccer, women's wrestling, men's beach volleyball (what next?.. "sand castling"). Hashing however is left on the sidelines and the World is the poorer, missing out on a whole generation of LSW Olympians participating in exotic events such as:

100 Metres Hash - even Sissie could finish this
10,000 Metres - a Hashzilla special
Relay - Bobble Dick's team would struggle (he'd never pass the baton)
Triple Jump - Any Dick Will Do (a hot favorite)
Cycling - Hash Bikes? LSW are a little flat tyred, better try WH3
Individual Pursuit - The Bastard!
Synchronized Hashing - the twins! Nut Cut & Gary Glitter
Equestrian - Shergar ridden by Rends

As for the rest of the Olympic paraphernalia it's ready made;
Sex - better try WH3
Drugs - try taking the piss out of LSW
& Rock'n' Roll - The Song…. may be not
On-On to Beijing!

Enough of this rubbish, back to reality,
Craig had promised to "jump in the pond" if his run was no better than Wonka's Chai Wan-der.

The trial facts:
-Wonka's was a DIY run in 200% humidity, followed by a classic duck web in dog-doo On-On with Blue Girls
-Craig's was a grand tour of catch pits/noise barriers/feted streams under smog-laden skies, followed by al fresco pavement pizza and warm Bruick beer.

The Hash verdict: IN THE POND

For the few who remained the Down-downs were an impromptu affair, as the Hare failed to press-gang a master of ceremonies, with whole can swallows to:

The Hare - can't tell difference between a Wonka and a Marmalade Head
- not attending last week's duck web On-On
- good marking, crap shiggy
- warm beer of the worst brands available
- ostracized Ozzie

Marmalade Head - burst a blood vessel over Hares news letter ranting.

Others for being sad buggers with no homes to go to, etc., followed by the anthem