Runs 1319 and 1320

The tour started on Friday afternoon with a nondescript flight to Cebu apart from sitting near the front with all the howling brats. However this allowed us off the plane first and into the queue for Immigration. Our plane unfortunately had arrived just after a planeload of Japanese tourists so Immigration was chaos! One hour later we emerged – Welcome to the Philippines!

Justin was there with the bus, Kevin who had flown in from Tokyo and Cally who had flown in from Manila. The bus was built for us ie. there were 14 of us and 15 seats, one for the driver. The bags went in another truck but the beer was chilled to perfection but soon ran out so we had to have a beer stop along the way. With the beers, the 2 hour trip to Argao didn’t seem too bad

On arrival in Argao, we dumped our bags at the beach house and set off for Lisa’s bar. As soon as we arrived the beers were distributed, the food was on the table and the Karaoke machine was going full blast! Howard (Reg Presley) Franks started off with his party piece – Wild Thing, followed quickly by Nat "King Cole", David (Cassidy) Boyle, Steve (Harley) Dewhurst and Hudson Bonjovi. By 2am you couldn’t get the mike out of Nat’s or Steve’s hands and "Woolly Bully" took on a whole different meaning.

Saturday morning started with an early morning swim which involved getting out of bed and walking about 20 yards. This was followed by breakfast and then by 11:30 we were ready to set off for the drive to the run site. It was a 2 and a half hour drive without any beer and by the time we got there we were ready for some exercise. However one of the co-hares was travelling separately so we had to wait for her before we could start the run. We waited and we waited, the food and beers arrived for the On On, but still no co-hare. She’ll be here in 5 minutes we were told. 5 Minutes in the Philippines means anything from 5 minutes to 5 days! But we were on holiday so no need to get stressed. Eventually Lisa arrived and the live hares were off being given 15 minutes start.

The run followed the river before heading up hill through banana trees and bush to the top of the ridge. From here we went down past a few houses and farms and back to the river again. The Wimps/Rambo split had the Wimps crossing the river by bridge and the Rambos swimming. The trail along the river was slippery but at the end we were confronted with a large water pool and waterfall. The waterfall became a high-power shower as we were pulled on a raft under rocks at the back of the waterfall only to be swept through the waterfall – Wow! A real high powered shower. The beers had been nicely chilled and the food prepared on site for the On On.

Down Downs were given by Howard (Wild Thing) Franks

There was great deliberation as to what the run number was but as we had a quorum, the popular vote declared it as Run No 1319.

Pink Poofter – Checking but not calling!

Danamyte – So keen to go on the trip she checked in at 10am for the 16:15 flight

Boilers – trying to look macho for the local girls by running the trail twice and coming back knackered

Pink Poofter – lacking social skills, first words to anyone "Where’s breakfast"

Marmalade Head – Problem with Immigration so used 87 year old lady and said she was his mother

Chicken Fister – diving in wearing prescription glasses then pretended to be an engineer by figuring out which way the current took them

Chicken Fister – too mean to pay locals to find them

Dan Dastardly – trying to pull in the Philippines, only thing he managed was a goat

Marigold and Dan Dastardly – took R/W split to heart – walked over the bridge then swam back

Big Bitch – retirement not going well, last week mistaken for Maggie, this time suffering from Alzheimer's

Secret Passage and Golden Shower – On the reccie thought they should check the safety of the waterfall but the power shower took off Golden Shower’s Bra

Cally – Hash Naming "Muff Diver"

Golden Shower – young, beautiful but tomorrow christening her Grand daughter

Stephen – returnee

Kath – Virgin runner

Secret Passage and Golden Shower – Hares

All the helpers

The Hash song followed then more beer and more beer. The way back to the bus was interesting after a few beers in the dark and no torches but we all made it in one piece.

Back on the bus with an eskie of cold beer, Dana decided to amuse us with a drinking game or how to remember lots of non-sensical things whilst drinking lots of beer, like "Seven hundred Macedonian soldiers marching in full battle array". But the journey passed quickly and we were soon back at the beach house where we were greeted by our own personal band for the evening. So we danced and drank lots more beer and the band played on and then at 2am the pig arrived. A whole one but by this time there was only 6 of us around to eat it and Nat’s a vegetarian. We tried and failed but then the Pink Poofter was in bed!

Sunday morning was the same start – stagger out of bed for the swim, then breakfast before going off to Lisa’s house for the run. Run number 1320 probably had more walkers than runners as the beer took its toll. The run started from the house and headed through the nearby farms towards the hills. Up and down through banana plantations and coconut trees, past little villages and Lisa’s mangoes before hitting the road and the ON Home back to Lisa’s. Here we were treated to more roasted pig, beef stews and satays and Lisa’s Uncle’s wonderful coconut cakes.

Down Downs were given again by "Wild Thing" and each beer was followed by an obligatory Tuba. For the uninitiated, a Tuba is fermented coconut sap and is possibly the worst thing I have every tasted. However Boilers loves it. He was willing to trade beer for Tuba with everyone. He flew back to HK on Tuba power.

Down Downs

Pink Poofter – still not calling and rubbing out the checks

Boilers – bringing a bottle of wine and trying to open it with a bottle opener!

Danamyte – catching Nat the Stat syndrome

Boilers, Marigold and Kath – Lawyers Down Down

Big Bitch – yelling On On even tho’ the pack was standing beside her

Baby Vomit – Mr Franks on CX

Marmalade Head – wanting to pump Dana in the shower

Marmalade Head – aka Nat the Stat

Hash Cash – 600 Runs

Secret Passage and Golden Shower – hares

Lisa’s Family – for cooking, chilling the beer and looking after us

We then attempted to leave around 4pm but it was 4:40pm before we got moving which was a bit of a worry as the flight left at 7:50pm and we had a 2 hour (on a good day) drive. The beer flowed, then it ran out and we had to phone the bag truck for more supplies and of course had to stop for a pee stop. Kath amused the locals by squatting, as she thought hidden from view, but it was in full view. So it got nearer 7pm and people were anxiously checking their watches. So Mr Franks swung into action and called CX to tell them that he and 13 travelling companions were on their way and that’s when MisterEee appeared and sent Mr Franks into hysterics but no doubt we’ll hear more of that later….

Suffice to say we got there with minutes to spare and we arrived back in HK tired and happy. Many thanks to Justin and Lisa for organising a great weekend.